Oona
06-26-2010, 05:35 PM
I just joined this community, and upon reading some of the posts here, I feel it necessary for me to vent out a little bit... I'll try my best not to make this the length of a life story, haha.
So I am currently 18 years old, I turned in March. I suffer from very bad anxiety. I used to be comfortable in my own home up until half a year ago, my main anxiety triggering location being school. Nowadays I cannot stand sitting in class for 75 minutes at a time, having people even glimpse at me. I feel this obsessive need to fiddle with things, fix things or just simply get out of the room in fear of passing out or something. I am sure most of you can relate? Also, now as I am off on summer vacation, I am not obliged to get out of the house. I do, however, drink plenty of alcohol and such to ease my mind. It is not a good habit, and whenever I am hungover I feel great anxiety. It's a lose-and-gain situation.
I used to be a very confident person, had the best sense of humor and so on. I honestly don't know what happened.
What I remember is feeling this very strong 'pressure' in my head. I slowly developed a fear of blushing also, probably from being around some sort of negative atmosphere in school or something, where I felt judged or threatened by others.
I have tried therapy, and it did not help at all. In fact, I do not want to sound pessimistic, but I think it worsened my symptoms because I started feeling guilty for getting help for my anxiety because I am 'different.' I know this is an extremely naive way to think about it, but so be it, I cannot help these thoughts and opinions... also, I've tried some meds but they haven't really helped.
I think the whole concept of anxiety has gotten 'too close' to me over the past year or so. I feel like my boyfriend/family/friends will eventually get sick of me and leave me be in my own little made up world. I can be normal, but usually I shy out and stay quiet or blush and it's rather embarassing. Especially because I am surrounded by confident people day to day. It makes me feel worse about myself.
I'm really sorry about this long post, but it felt good to vent out :) I'm glad to be part of this community, and I look forward to hear from others and read others' views too. Thank you!
So I am currently 18 years old, I turned in March. I suffer from very bad anxiety. I used to be comfortable in my own home up until half a year ago, my main anxiety triggering location being school. Nowadays I cannot stand sitting in class for 75 minutes at a time, having people even glimpse at me. I feel this obsessive need to fiddle with things, fix things or just simply get out of the room in fear of passing out or something. I am sure most of you can relate? Also, now as I am off on summer vacation, I am not obliged to get out of the house. I do, however, drink plenty of alcohol and such to ease my mind. It is not a good habit, and whenever I am hungover I feel great anxiety. It's a lose-and-gain situation.
I used to be a very confident person, had the best sense of humor and so on. I honestly don't know what happened.
What I remember is feeling this very strong 'pressure' in my head. I slowly developed a fear of blushing also, probably from being around some sort of negative atmosphere in school or something, where I felt judged or threatened by others.
I have tried therapy, and it did not help at all. In fact, I do not want to sound pessimistic, but I think it worsened my symptoms because I started feeling guilty for getting help for my anxiety because I am 'different.' I know this is an extremely naive way to think about it, but so be it, I cannot help these thoughts and opinions... also, I've tried some meds but they haven't really helped.
I think the whole concept of anxiety has gotten 'too close' to me over the past year or so. I feel like my boyfriend/family/friends will eventually get sick of me and leave me be in my own little made up world. I can be normal, but usually I shy out and stay quiet or blush and it's rather embarassing. Especially because I am surrounded by confident people day to day. It makes me feel worse about myself.
I'm really sorry about this long post, but it felt good to vent out :) I'm glad to be part of this community, and I look forward to hear from others and read others' views too. Thank you!