Anxiety shopping and angry people

[timm]

I hope I'm not bothering anyone with this. I just need to talk.

Long time anxiety sufferer. I have wicked fear of the cash in shopping stores and buying things.

Anyways, I was thinking of buying a camera: Researched it for hours, kept going in the store and finally worked up the nerve to get it. It's a discount store that we all know, and many dislike.

I couldn't get anyone to serve me, which led to my anxiety building. Finally, the manager got it out and I noticed that a standard feature was not in the box. I stayed calm and explained that the feature was missing. She turned absolutely vile, and said I had my facts wrong, while she gritted her teeth and kind of yelled. I told her I could bring in a copy of the feature sheet, and I started crying because she was talking to me like I was dirt. I took her name down and said I was going to complain to head office. Then she said sorry, but it was only because I threatened to complain. I turned around and left.

Now I feel bad because I didn't get my camera. I feel bad that I was such a failure. I couldn't stand my ground, and fight her. How do you fight people that want to fight, when you're not a fighter yourself? I just wanted a stupid camera, and I knew she was trying to rip me off.

Is this all distorted thinking on account of my anxiety disorder, or does this type of thing happen to "normal people" too. How would a normal person cope with this situation?

[korgoosh]

Whoa, has this lady never heard the expression "the customer is always right?"

I think all people run into people like her. Those of us with anxiety of course are more likely to take it harshly and personally though.

Just the same, I think you handled it well. You told her you were going to complain about her behaviour. Good for you... way to stand up for yourself. Plus, I am glad you left without the camera. Why not give your business to another place that treats customers with respect?

I know that experience could make you feel more anxious next time, but rest assured, it was not your fault, she could have been rude to the next unfortunate customer who came across her, and you handled it well. Hopefully you do make the complaint!

[timm]

Yes, thank you Korgoosh. Very well put. I had a sleep on it, and I came to a lot of the same conclusions you said here. I take things so much to heart.

I did handle it as well as I could. And it did go through my mind that I was not giving someone my money who is going to treat me badly. I think the companies are so big now that they don't care about the customer anymore.

I am going to draft a letter detailing the time, department, store etc. and send it, and then follow up. I'm going to take the emotion out and just state the facts. I don't want to be vindictive or get anyone fired. I just want to voice my opinion that rude behaviour, particularly when unsolicited or provoked in any way, is upsetting and unacceptable.

[timm]

Quick Update!

I was vindicated. As a result of my complaint, I got the camera at a 30% discount. Yay!

Advice I would give: More people have to complain; Intelligently, in writing, while staying calm, and backing up your story with facts. When I come across another situation like this, I'm going to tell myself. "Don't get mad. Get everythign dahhh-ling" haha

[korgoosh]

good for you!

[Wes]

It's good to see examples like yours :) You stood up for yourself very well, despite feeling anxious. You pushed on and were justly rewarded.

Plus, you can now see that what your anxiety was making you feel, about not being able do stand up for yourself, was not true. May these lessons help you overcome it every single time those thoughts appear.

[johannes6]

Good for you timm!
Great story.You came out on top and your experience will def stick to my mind next time a silly shop assistant has a go!
Good for you!

[louiseevans222]

Hi Timm, well its probably because of your anxiety youre feeling down and helpless...

You need to stand up for yourself and be strong, dont let anyone put you down....

But you have to get rid of your anxiety, because thats the thing thats making you feel as if youre not able to stand up for yourself, its a horrible feeling....

And you didnt even get the camera!!

The women defientely cant do her job properly!

Check the link below and find out how you can take control over your life today!

All the best Timm..

you gotta stand up for yourself dont let anyone put you down!

[totPawetegmet]

I just want one serious answer to one simple question...

What is it they fear about her that makes all of this babble and bullshit is necessary in the first place?

I suspect the answer, but it is one Ill never hear admitted.

[Fear]

I hope I'm not bothering anyone with this. I just need to talk.

Long time anxiety sufferer. I have wicked fear of the cash in shopping stores and buying things.

Anyways, I was thinking of buying a camera: Researched it for hours, kept going in the store and finally worked up the nerve to get it. It's a discount store that we all know, and many dislike.

I couldn't get anyone to serve me, which led to my anxiety building. Finally, the manager got it out and I noticed that a standard feature was not in the box. I stayed calm and explained that the feature was missing. She turned absolutely vile, and said I had my facts wrong, while she gritted her teeth and kind of yelled. I told her I could bring in a copy of the feature sheet, and I started crying because she was talking to me like I was dirt. I took her name down and said I was going to complain to head office. Then she said sorry, but it was only because I threatened to complain. I turned around and left.

Now I feel bad because I didn't get my camera. I feel bad that I was such a failure. I couldn't stand my ground, and fight her. How do you fight people that want to fight, when you're not a fighter yourself? I just wanted a stupid camera, and I knew she was trying to rip me off.

Is this all distorted thinking on account of my anxiety disorder, or does this type of thing happen to "normal people" too. How would a normal person cope with this situation?


Next time don't say a single word,just let the thing you wanna buy on the counter and leave.The bad person will think what she wants.Fuck her!

[mercyshy]

Yes! "Customer is always right!", my business -minded family reminds me those words. It's a matter of how we stood up and fight for what we believe is right despite anxieties we have. Inspiring lesson and reminder that though we have fears and worries of doing such things, we need to fight for it, we can make it.

[princess_emma279]

All you need to know is that you did nothing wrong. I'm impressed you brought up the missing piece from the box instead of ignoring it. You did the right thing and I hope you complained about the bitch to head office. Next time buy it online or I highly recommend you take someone you trust with you to help you push your boundaries and physically go to the store whilst still having a safety net there to deal with any unexpected conflict or occurrences.
good luck with future shopping