Being alone

[newbie]

Does anyone else ever fear being alone? This is one of my biggest fears as l think l am going to have a heart atack and nobody is around to help me. My Psychologist said l am letting the anxiety win and l need to spend some time alone to overcome this but it is really hard for me and l sit ananlysing EVERY little niggle pain etc :oops: :(

[newbie]

Guess not :(

[forwells]

Howdy Newbie :D

Ill bite :)

I am the sort of person that likes to be alone , i like to think by myself and this is how i sort my problems out . I have always been like this and are still today .

But when my anxiety was bad i could not stand being alone , i was scared to be alone and this in itself use to stress me out . I would ring my wife at work and ask her to come home a hour after she left because i could not stand being alone . My stress levels would go from 0- 100 in a matter of seconds when she left to go to work . You know what caused all this . One thing and one thing alone i was scared of my symptoms of anxiety , i didnt know what they were or what was happening and this was scarying me .

In fact this was just one thing that was scaring me , there was many many more , such as eating , driving , go out , talking to people , see doctor , christmas etc . You can see what i mean .

Your Psychologist is 100% right you are letting it win and you need to start to take control back over it . Dont sit there and think i dont know what i am saying remember i was there also .

See i spent 6 months worrying about having another panic attack , 6 months of hell i tell you . But one day i sat down and tried to work out what the underlying fear was , why was it that i was so scared . You know what it was i was scared of my symptom, not driving , not eating , not being alone but just my symptoms . So what i did was work on that . I worked on understand why and how they came about , how there could be so many and how they felt so bad . Well once i did this it didnt scare me , if a symptom was bad i could say to myself oh i know what that is and it will pass . I stop feeding it and one by one these symptoms went away . Yes it was hard and it took time but it can be done .

You need to work on that underlying fear. Eg your heart and what is it that scares you about it . Is it because you get chest pains , tingling down your arms etc . Well there is a reason behind that but what happens is all our life we hear that if we have cheast pains and tingling then it must be heart problems , this is drummed into us from a early age so there is no wonder we panic about it no matter what age we are .

You also need to take a leap of faith and believe what people are telling you rather than believe what anxiety is tricking you into believing . Anxiety is nothing but a bully , it has no power it is only feed by one thing and one thing alone and that is our fear . When we remove the fear then the anxiety and our hypo nerves system will settle. The worst thing about anxiety i think is the way it sucks your hope and the way it makes you believe that you are the only one like this and that noone else could live though what you are living though . Well many many people are and many many people have and got past it also .

You can also but i believe you have to start to control and understand it to start to heal.

cheers and good luck kev ;)

[newbie]

Thanks Kev for your reply :)

Everything you have said makes complete sense, l am actually pretty proud of myself today l stayed home all day alone, did all the exercises that the doc has told me to do and l am not denying it was hard but l think that in time l will get there.
I have many things that l "fear"but l think alone is my trigger.

Thanks again

[forwells]

Cheers mate
You will get use to it , your brain and body just needs to relearn that there is nothing to fear .

cheers kev :D

[mishka]

Good post Kevin :)

Your deffinately not alone, I'm scared of being on my own. When my partner goes to work I am counting the minutes till he comes home. I'm scared to do anything so sit on the couch worried if I get up I will collapse. Sometimes I've phoned my partner and begged him to come home, or phoned and told him I need to see a doctor as I am very ill. :oops:

[anxiousgirl79]

I feel the exact same way. That is why I just joined this forum. I too watch the clock waiting for my husband to come home. My mind races and can go from Point A to Point Z in minutes. Cleaning and reading can only help so much. It's very scary to be alone in your own head. You're not alone in feeling this way!

[kay87]

I know this is an old topic but you guys definitely are not alone. I'm 23...and I'm definitely someone who is terrified of being alone. I used to repeatedly phone my partner on nights out begging to just talk to me for a few minutes. Last week I was in a really bad place and spent Monday through to Friday going round my friends' every afternoon and staying til gone midnight for fearing of harming myself if I went home. It's a lonely place to be...

[vikster]

Hi i have never posted on here, but i can completely relate to the fear of being alone. My anxiety has really spiked within the last 3 days and ive been really emotional and tired. My other half has to work Saturdays and i have made a point of leaving the house and going shopping for a nice meal tonight, although i started to get really anxious in the shop and had to come home but now im here i just wish it was 6 oclock and i wont be on my own anymore. Its awful and i constanly worry that im going to pass out, have a heart attack or die and no-one will find me or be able to help. Completely irrational but im struggling to overcome this feeling or worrying about worrying if that makes sense!!

[newbie]

It makes complete sense, l feel like that daily "still" :(