New here and hoping for some advice

[Brandon M]

Hello. I'm glad I found this forum as my anxiety has lessened a little already just from reading that others have some of the same symptoms I'm dealing with. I'm 28 years old and was fine for most of my life when it came to physical anxiety symptoms. Though I was a loner in high school I never had this horrible feeling of anxiety until a few years ago. And I never thought it was serious until last week when it came on suddenly (I woke up with it) and it has been off and on every day since then with 4 or 5 days of it being almost non-stop. I get all but a few of the symptoms listed in the stickied symptoms thread, and this feeling that is hard to describe. It's like a rushing feeling that last a few seconds. It's almost like fear or something and I feel it in my head and chest and feel like I'm going to pass out.

It used to only happen when I'm in public, especially places like banks, anywhere that there are people behind me standing in line that I feel are looking at me. And the thought or action of actually having to talk to a bank teller or store cashier can cause it. But last week I woke up and felt it and started to worry about it. I worry that I'm going to die. That it could be a disease or something. That I'm going to have a heart attack or brain hemorrhage or who knows what. And these fears keep the anxiety feeling coming and make it worse. I'll lay in bed and try to sleep it off but that's when I start worrying too much and I can never actually get any sleep. If I wake up I can never get back to sleep because I'm worrying about not being able to get back to sleep, which brings on the anxiety.

The only thing that has helped stem the feelings is alcohol. And I know that's "self medicating" and not good for me as I'm drinking way too much but I am afraid that if I seek help in person, like a doctor, I will have a panic attack or something. So I'm hoping this forum will help me get better on my own. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Brandon

[palow]

For years you've been practising for this, and now your anxiety level has been reset to high alert. If you practiced a piano sonata non-stop, one day you'll wake up and you'll play it perfectly. Same thing. In your case you just practiced something really bad for you.

The good news is that there's nothing physically wrong with you. You don't need antidepressants. In fact, drugs will make your anxiety worse. You need cognitive behavioural therapy, because what you have is a behavioural problem. CBT will straighten out the negative thought patterns and behaviours that causes your anxiety.

You can get a therapist, or go by an anxiety treatment programme off the internet, or go to your library and get a bunch of books on it. The internet programmes and books are all based on CBT. I went through the Linden Method and I can't say enough good things about it.

The cure is simple but the difficult thing is letting go of all your old thought and behavioural habits. We are all addicted to our habits like junkies. Letting go is the toughest part.

Take some action and get some treatment now. Don't wait around for 11 years like I did.

Patrick

[Brandon M]

Thanks a lot for your reply Patrick. I will look into CBT tonight. I know what you mean about letting go of old thoughts and habits, that really is going to be tough but I know I need to change and I want to.

[Brandon M]

I just read your website and found it extremely informative. Man, your writing is so much easier to understand and more comprehensive than any other resource on anxiety disorders that I have read so far. Thanks a lot for that. Also the color scheme is very pleasant to me. And if I can get the money for the Linden Method program I am going to start it. It really sounds right for me. I'll make sure to order it through your site so you get a commission.

[palow]

Bless your heart, Brandon, for those kind words.

Please know that Linden Method was not an easy ride, because it is something you do yourself. You don't have a CB therapist holding your hand. It took me something like almost 4 months before I felt the anxiety under control.

I had many of moments when I felt hopeless and it wasn't working. But that's all part of the mental trick that anxiety plays on you.

I think the best moment came when after 2 months on the programme, my wife said I was so calm I was starting to freak her out. It was weird but she said she missed the old hysterical me. I think she's finally getting used to me now, haha.

Linden Method has great phone support, but if you ever need anything, please send me a PM through this forum.

Patrick

[lawandorder]

I can relate, my most aggressive and first panic attacks were in the morning, and that rush feeling is just insane, so overwhelming, so frightening....
There are 2 main things that made it a bit easier... didn't fix it, but helped for sure. The first thing was the fact that because of their frequency (of panic attacks), I was more readily able to observe the reaction my mind was having, and therefore kind of knew when it was coming (allowing me the attempt to subdue it)
The second thing was that theres actually nothing to fear within a panic attack. You cannot die from one, and you can't go insane from one, DESPITE how damn strong that initial reaction is. Once you don't fear the panic attack - the physiological reaction itself, you will find some relief...
You may still get minor ones, but will be able to stop it before it goes to far. Deep breathing when you feel it coming definietly helped me.
I knew when a panic attack was coming on because i would be feeling moderately anxious, and I could feel my heart increasing the same pace that my mind was racing (both at an increasing rate)... then i would have to breath and tell myself to relax and that it will end shortly.
It's a massive bitch and it gave me a beating but im alright now. I think my personality helped, despite how bad the whole experience was, now that i'm better it kind of stimulated me, prior to anxiety I enjoyed challenging the mind... (now i don't so much :/)
Good luck

[lawandorder]

if you drink more now the anxiety will gradually get worse as well which you dont want... start exercising, eating better, quitting smoking helped me heaps.. if the anxiety was already in you it was just dormant and something happened where u opened its gate. No you have to work on closing it...
If you are willing to become an alcoholic to stop the anxiety, I suggest throwing away the bottles and going on medication before it happens, save yourself a bad chapter in ur life
take it easy

[Brandon M]

if you drink more now the anxiety will gradually get worse as well which you dont want... start exercising, eating better, quitting smoking helped me heaps.. if the anxiety was already in you it was just dormant and something happened where u opened its gate. No you have to work on closing it...
If you are willing to become an alcoholic to stop the anxiety, I suggest throwing away the bottles and going on medication before it happens, save yourself a bad chapter in ur life
take it easy

Thanks for your replies. I started drinking too young, about 10 years ago, and I'm sure it has contributed greatly to my anxiety attacks since they are much worse on days I've had hangovers. I am already an alcoholic. I won't be drinking as much now though. This is all very eye opening for me.

[lawandorder]

all good your welcome :D
yeah just go easy on urself, dont give up, it WILL get better eventually, sometimes it really doesn't seem like it though.
talk about an eye opener - i thought i was invincible! (my first awful panic attack was drug induced n it went from there...)
all the best[/quote]

[Charmbracelet81]

I am in CBT and it is helping, but I, too use alcohol to sleep and to feel less anxious.

[palow]

You withdraw from alcohol the same way you treat anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorder is an addiction to the adrenalin rush. During my 3rd month on Linden, when I started to feel the anxiety leaving, I felt strangely EMPTY and depressed. I missed the anxiety, if you can believe it. Unconsciously, I went and did stuff to bring it back, that's how messed up addiction is.

Anyway, here's how you withdraw from alcohol:
1. Get a system going. Make up charts, get a desk diary, whatever.
2. Determine exactly how much you drink each day.
3. Figure out what's a comfortable time to quit (say, 6-8 months)
4. With your chart or daily diary, mark down how much you will drink each day, cutting down the amount to zero over the allotted time.
5. Chart your drinking pattern. All addictions are habits and run on predictable patterns. Mark down the times and and places when your urge to drink occurs.
6. Find distractions you can use for those times and situations. BREAK THE ROUTINE. Exercise is a good distraction. It should be solo exercise because it has to be something you can do at a moment's notice. Find a good distraction for every single time of day or situation that makes you drink. Do this faithfully for a month and your cravings will down down a lot.
7. You WILL fall off the wagon. That's guaranteed. When that happens, really ENJOY your binge and calmly get back on your schedule. Tell the booze how much you love it but it is time to say goodbye. Guilt is the thing that keeps you an alcoholic. Never ever succumb to guilt or you are a goner.
8. If you are on schedule, reward yourself. If you fall off the wagon, enjoy yourself. Both alcoholism and anxiety cannot survive feelings of joy. So practice feeling joy. It is a practice like learning the piano; you won't get it right away. Every day, look at birds, look at children playing, hold babies, kittens and puppies whenever you can. You don't need money and a soulmate to be truly happy.

Patrick

[Brandon M]

sorry, double post.

[Brandon M]

Thanks again palow, I agree with and understand what you mean. I have been off and on with drinking for a long time and I know what it takes to quit, what works for me and you're spot on. I don't believe in cold turkey, as it never worked for family and friends that had the addiction.

That said, the last few days have been good for me. I have cut down drinking by a lot and have been exercising and getting some stuff done that I've been planning on doing for awhile. This morning I woke up anxiety free. Yesterday was nearly anxiety free as well. It's a nice break from 2 weeks of constant anxiety. I think understanding it helped me the most. And I know it will come back but I can confidently say I'm prepared for it. I will continue to cut back on drinking and continue trying to eat well and exercise. In the last 2 weeks I lost 11 lbs purely from loss of appetite due to my anxiety. I also am going to start taking a multivitamin.

Thanks a lot,

Brandon

[Charmbracelet81]

Palow- I know what you mean about being afraid without feeling anxiety! Coming from always being fearfull to learning to relax and deal with my anxiety, when I find myself lost in a "non-anxious" thought, I find myself having an attack. It's like it's hard to let the defenses down and "just be."