Nice to meet you all!

[Nicole-A]

Hi! :D

I am new to this forum, but from reading just a few of the other posts, I am SO glad I have found it!

It is so reassuring to know that there are other people out there like me, suffering and fighting the way I am.

I have had depression since I was 12, where i isolated myself off from everyone completely, didnt eat and began to self harm. Luckily I dont do that anymore, even though the urge to do it is greater than ever. I have suffered from anxiety/panic attacks and agoraphobia for about a year, probably more than that actually but I was too young then to know what my feelings were.

I have taken pills, but I feel they just mask the problem. I am going to see a councellor/life coach on the NHS in about 6 months time (the waiting list is long).

I never knew I had any sort of agoraphobic tendencies until it seemed that one day I just couldn't go out the house, at least not by myself. I have decided to take baby steps in getting myself better - if I set too high a goal I know I will fail and that will make me even more depressed.

My first goal was to go to the corner shop. I can do that without hardly any feelings of anxiety now :D :D :D My second goal was to go to the shop a little further down the road. I managed to do it for the first time the other day, but did feel really nervous doing it. My next goal is to get a bus a short distance to my sisters house, it really is a big big fear of mine - so wish me luck!!

Anyway, thats a bit of my story

Love Nicki xx

[kim]

Nice to hear from you. Can totally relate with you - I went way out of my comfort zone today - I drove to a small shopping centre (freaky), got out of my car (with my 1 year old son) and went into a clothes shop (which was located right next to the entrance/exit in case of the need for a quick getaway) of the shopping centre and stayed there for about 20mins and bought something (super freaky - especially at the checkout). I was talking to myself the whole time (positive things like "look you're driving into the carpark" and "here we are at the shops now lets see if there is anything we need or would like to buy"). And if any bad feelings came like the feeling of losing it and being totally overwhelmed (probably the worst at the checkout - bad thoughts like - "what's taking this chick so long, how long does it take to ring up five items of clothing?" - stare at the door, stare at the door, "gotta leave, she better hurry up" - "No you took the time to pick these things and you are not running out now - you are going to pay the girl and walk out the door, and go to your car and you will feel good and know that you have DONE it" And you know what? I was right. Lucky lucky me. :D

I haven't clothes shopped in ages - it wasn't a slow leisurely shop but it also wasn't a rush rush gotta go kind of shop either. You know what I bought ? Well I'm going to tell you - two pairs of shorts for me, a bikini & short set for my 14 year old step daughter, some pajamas for my one year old, and a pair of jeans for my 5 year old. How good is that?

So for every little thing you do make sure you feel super good about yourself, take baby steps (as you know) , take it slowly (step by step/day by day) and take your time. Sounds like your on the right track anyways - good on YOU! (oh and good luck with your bus trip).
All my best - Kim from Australia.

[Nicole-A]

Hi Kim!

Nice to meet you. So glad you done well on your clothes shopping WELL DONE :D :D

I know how you feel about shops. I hate it when there is a problem with the person in fronts credit card, or they have to call someone from the back of the store to check something, and they dont come for AGES!!

I went up the corner shop by myself again today. Previously this would have given me a panic attack, but today and the last time I did it I just kept on thinking 'good thoughts', like 'nothing bad or unexpected is going to happen' and 'i am going to be fine' and 'I can, and will, do this'.

well done again!

Love Nicki xx

[lost]

It is so great to find people that I can really talk to about my anxiety problem. I've tried to talk to family about it but they kind of write it off as shyness or low self-esteem. This is actually a big step for me as you all are the first people I've admitted to that I have social anxiety disorder. I hope you guys can give me some tips on how you deal with it and at least some moral support. Thanks for letting me join! :)