brand new...question

[pdh512]

Hi! Im brand new...never been to an anxiety forum...had GAD, panic attacks, OCD for the last 3 years. Ive been married for 5 years and my Husband is a nice guy but CANT understand and doesn't want to. every time we go out and I get nervous I get the same response "snap out of it!" He also occasionally makes fun of me for being "crazy" ( a term I hate) and Ive given him books, taken him with me to a psychologist and he still believes its all just a made up thing. How on earth do I explain this to someone I love that refuses to understand? Im so lost...

[forwells]

Hi pdh512
I wrote this a while ago Hope you like and give you a better understanding of anxiety and how it works

The 1% rule

So you have anxiety .

Well you really are not much different from everyone else on the planet. Every body has anxiety . Anxiety is just a fancy word for high stress .

We all suffer from stress , thoughout our whole life we will have stress , some good , some bad and there is not much to do to stop this happening but there is many ways to reduce the effects of it .

Over time stress takes a effect of our body , if we do not do something about this stress then our body learns this . Each time we have a stressfull episode in life and don't take action to repair this our body sets our stress level a bit higher. But the body will only take this for so long .

One day it will crack and start to show the symptoms of high stress ( anxiety as its called ) , this is when your body is on 99% stress , it is running at its peak level ,The peak level of the stress that it can take .

Now as i said above everybody has stress , most of the time you may not even see that your stress is raised , it could be as simply as going into a room full of people , sitting in a restaurant , to a little fight with the other half , Talking to the opposite sex .seeing a snake etc. You know what i mean we have all been there before had those butterflies from doing something we may have been a bit nervous about .

Now this sort of stuff has happened before and had very little effect on you .It has raised your stress level a bit but then gone back down just as fast . But now your stress level has changed you are living on 99% stress , so when the little things happen you are pushed over the 100% mark . What is the 100% mark well that's panic , that's when your body starts to send out major symptoms that is cannot take this stress any more and you need to do something about it .

These panic episode will keep happening because you are at the 99% stress level . But you can stop them . You stop them by reducing your stress over time the same way it raised overtime . You stop these attack and GAD by seeing them for what they are . A symptom of a overstressed system , you don't project these symptoms onto other things .Fears are simply a way of projecting you anxiety on to something and not seeing it as it really is solely as a symptom of a overstressed system

You start by understanding why your body is doing this , why your body is sending out all these nasty symptoms. You learn what is behind it .

When you learn what is behind it , you should also see that this is not some evil monster inside you set to destroy you but it is just like any symptom that the body gets when ill . It is your body's way of showing you that their is something wrong . The way god made you is you chose.

Many things change in the body when under stress , your body workings change because it believes it is in danger . It starts the flight and fight response when it is in danger .
There is always a reason behind why those symptoms are happening . Some are such as crazy thoughts . Your body is looking for the danger that it feels but it cant find it and keeps looking , some crazy thought may flash into your head, it may pick this up as a danger and focus on this .Your body will focus under panic . It is built to do this. This is why you can jump out of the way of a runaway bus because your body focus on the danger and reacts. You may fell sick in the stomach . Pins and needles in the hands as the body prepairs for the battle with the danger it is looking for. The reason for these pins and needles is that the body is removing blood from you limbs to reduce bleeding if hurt in the battle . The battle is the danger it feels but cannot see. The body cannot tell the different between that moving bus and you telling it that there is a bus there . It is something that it learns . Just as you have taught it to do many things from walking to riding a bike. It learnt to panic but it can be taught to stop panicing just as easy. By understand these symptoms when they start from a bit of stress and raise you learn not to panic with fear against them. Removing the fear from them stops them from growing .

As you get better which you will , look into what your body is doing , it is a amazing system that the body has to protect itself from danger.

The problem is now is that you have become so stressed over time and this system is now in place but you cant see it . It was there , i bet you had weird symptoms for the months if not years before your stress got to 99% but just look past them as , maybe a bad day at school or work and they settled with a bit or rest and sleep . May people now look back and say Oh ihave had GAD for years . Have you or was it just the symptoms of your stress rising over time.

So how do you get better you reduce your stress , you answer all though questions you have about whats happening . By learning the answers to these questions you reduce the stress and worry that something nasty is going on . Its not , its just your body doing what it was made to do.

You also reduce your stress by facing some of the things that caused it in the first place . These maybe anything from facing problems in your past with people that raised you to current problems you may have with loved ones . I believe a big step in this is forgiveness . You don't have to forget that someone hurt you in the past but you need to forgive and move on. While you are still holding onto this they are still hurting you .
You work on outside stimulants such as to much alcohol , drugs , smoking , poor diet , poor lifestyle etc

So by doing this you drop your stress down over time form 99% to maybe 40 % so that when you get that little stress form going into a room full of people , sitting in a restaurant , to a little fight with the other half , Taking to the opposite sex .seeing a snake etc Then it raises you stress level into maybe 42% . This is the key , it is were on your stress level this 2% is that effects weather we panic or not . As you reduce your stress this 99% will lower and less and less things will stress you out over time. Just as 100s and 1000s of people have before you . Remember that no one live 100% stress free. We have just learned to live at the wrong end of the scale

cheers kev

[melindam]

I know how it is because people just think your acting out or that you can just turn it on and off like a lightswitch. but in reality panic and fear turns on and off like a lightswitch. easiest way to explain to him whats going on is not using the medical terms and stuff...instead telling him exactly how you feel and telling him your not asking him to understand it but that he needs to accept it. its not just something that goes away...if he truely cares then he needs to help you instead of get angry with you when he doesnt like the outcome. i have severe anxiety/panic attacks that were actually caused by using an antibiotic called cipro...i had never had a panic attack or anxiety before untill i got off this medicine and the doctors even roll their eyes at me when i tell them whats going on. so instead of looking for answeres in people who have never experienced it before i looked for people who experience it everyday and see how they manage it. :)