The "This is how I feel right now" thread

[Ace123]

I read threw this forum, and from my own experiances, ive noticed just how much it helps just telling people how I feel at the moment.

how do you feel RIGHT NOW. what are you suffering from.

Ill go first.

I can't breath. When I go to talk my throat does this wierd thing and I instantly run out of breath. I feel like I have this lump in my throat. my stomache keeps doing this weird flopping thing were I spit up acid trying to burp

[ThePhoenix]

I read threw this forum, and from my own experiances, ive noticed just how much it helps just telling people how I feel at the moment.

how do you feel RIGHT NOW. what are you suffering from.

Ill go first.

I can't breath. When I go to talk my throat does this wierd thing and I instantly run out of breath. I feel like I have this lump in my throat. my stomache keeps doing this weird flopping thing were I spit up acid trying to burp


At the moment I am not too bad, feeling moderately laid back for the most part.
An interesting question might be, what are you worried about at the moment Ace?

[Ace123]

At the moment, i feel pretty laid back. My stomache is still doing its flopping acid thing. I have this HUGE lump in my throat. It feels like im swallowing my tonsils. Im trying to talk to my gf and im having difficulty sometimes. its weird.

Like that other guy, my anxiety seems to focus onto different things. Right now I cant get over the idea that there is something seriously wrong with my throat. I keep telling myself its just anxiety, and I know it is in my brain. Its like theres a machine inside me making this.

[Andrew]

You’re so right, I used to have temporary relief from the times I managed to talk it out of me. It means you have to force yourself to put your thoughts “outside of your head”; anything that takes those erratic, fearful thoughts out of your mind is a brilliant method. Get those thoughts/feelings onto paper as often as you can, no matter if what you write is total nonsense, it will help a terrible feeling leave your head.

The erratic, racing thought patters are a result from your mind affecting your brain chemistry (neurotransmitters) and your brain chemistry affecting your mind.

Meaning, that uncontrollable feeling, like something else is in your head making it happen, is a result of slight dysfunction of brain chemistry (totally correctable in the future). Then trying to counter this, your mind (thoughts/feelings) will be affecting the stressed dysfunctional state of brain chemistry. Round and round it goes.

So that’s why it feels like an uncontrollable cycle of Erratic thoughts and fear: it’s your mind and brain chemistry battling for stability.
So what you are saying about speaking out, or writing out the crap in your head, will help this unbalanced brain chemistry/mind battle.

Hope this helps, I’d like to help you calm your brain chemistry with some info, if you would like it.

Andrew

[Ace123]

I woke up this morning feeling great. within 5 minutes however my mind returned to where it was. Scared about my throat. Within another 5 minutes the symptoms came back. Lump in the throat, cant breath, difficulty talking, spitting up acid. My gf thinks im going crazy.

I want to beat this SO bad. Im going to go back on citilopram here soon i think. I thought I could beat it by myself this time. Im losing very badly. Everyday it gets worse. Now im scared to get into the car and go to work, and I have to leave in 15 minutes. Theres nothing to be scared about! I like working, I run a toy/hobby store. What could possibly be bad there.

[ghostgirl929]

Its been along time coming which has been a Major source of my personal anxiety lately, I have been in a bad relationship for 2 years now thinking one day it will turn around and get better, everyday I pray and hope and I held on to every good Moment we had which was few and with those good moments I had minute moments of continued hope but recently I lost my Job and my partner who is a regional Manager gave me a Job and since then everything went really bad really fast, I feared it would since I had this experience before with her however it was not this bad, I saw a it all falling each and everyday, her respect for me and the way she treated me her interactions with me...it was all going downhill though in the evenings we still held each other when we slept and ofcourse there was hope in me but the next Morning it was back to the same old thing...tonight was bad, we argued in the Car, she said horrible things to me and called me a Loser, it got worse than that, I was devastated and at one point I lashed back and said I didnt trust her and that it was over...who would stay after hearing all that, there is no respect, there is no affection...only hurt and more hurt...so we are over and I have to start my life again , I have to go back Home to a family Im estranged from and all I want to do is numb my Brain, Im living with her now but I know come tomorrow this will not be my home anymore, Im filled with sadness and despair and fear but anything is better than living like this, we cannot continue to do this to each other...I just want to be numb right now.

[aangelone1]

At this moment I have a certain level of anxiety which may be building back up. I had relaxed a bit from earlier in the day. It was awful this morning. I'm so anxious that I can't even enjoy conversations with my boyfriend like I normally would because I'm recycling thoughts about my "feelings" and questions in my head left and right. It is very frustrating because I absolutely DO NOT want to push him away. I love him so much.

[alexandros]

this is my first forum entry...i've been reading threads and different posts for a couple of weeks now and i've decided to try to express my feelings, hoping it will help me (& others as well) since the lack of communication is, i believe, one of the main causes of my panic attacks and my sad & lonely overall mood. i've been pretty much alone in the last month, avoiding to see my friends, just going to my therapist, working from home and riding my bike ocassionaly. i'm afraid i'll be stuck in this mood forever. this thought, i think, does not help. instead, i try think positively about my future but finally don't do anything about it. it's like a vicious circle. i think i know what i want to do, regarding my life, work, friendships, etc., but also feel i'm powerless when it comes to pursuing those goals. i think i have to re-do my life from day 1 again, but i'm full of inherited fears. dunno. my therapist says the anxiety attacks are caused by my growing inner will to change and when i'm incapable of doing those changes, i get pannicky. greetings for all.

[xjenniex]

i feel tired and frustrated that once again i have slept in so late and then stayed up till the sun was already up. im scared that im not real and if i am real that i will never be better. my eyes are messing with me with little flashes and such. i want to cry but i also want to be mad too. i feel worthless i cant clean or cook or anything. im pregnant so i cant take my mood stabalizer that helps with the repetitive thoughts. im sick of this. i cant stop smoking so much i wake up with a sore throat. 4.5 more months of this i hope i can make it. i just want my brain to shut up and to feel grounded and attached. dear Lord please take theese aweful feelings away.

[mark32]

at this moment im letting future thoughts ruin me. I worry about work and the workload ahead - also wife is due in 5 days and want this too happen sooner rather than later so i have something too focus on....

[JerJer]

Ace, I have an idea what is wrong with you.

I have studied Chinese Medicine and I live in China. There is a syndrome in Chinese Medicine called "Plum Pit Qi." It is a feeling that something is stuck in the throat that neither can be swallowed nor rejected. Like the pit of a plum is lodged there, yet, there is nothing actually in the throat. Is this how you feel?

In the Chinese Medical literature it considers this due to something the patient can't figuratively swallow. The location in the throat has to do with where the qi in the meridians is stuck. But the main thing here is something is going on that the patient can't fully accept, grasp or "swallow". You would be amazed at how many people actually have this.

If you feel I described what you have, I would recommend buying this formula:

Ban Xia Hou Po Tang –
moves Qi (Liver Qi stagnation), eliminates clumps, push rebel Qi down, transform Phlegm

Ban Xia Hou Po Tang - Jin gui yao lue
Ban Xia (rhizoma pinelliae ternatae)…9-12g
Hou Po (cortex magnoliae officinalis)…9g
Fu Ling (sclerotium poiae cocos)…12g
Sheng Jiang (rhizoma zingiberis officinalis recins)…15g
Zi Su Ye (folium perillae frutescentis)…6g
Indications: plum-pit syndrome, chest and hypochondriac distension, moist or greasy tongue coat, wiry slow or wiry slippery pulse, may also be coughing or vomiting.

[rwmoon]

My stomach is burning. I had my first episode at work today. Was working with a student and felt like I couldn't catch my breath while I was talking. Felt overall just ill all day. Once again, I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about a muscle ache or a small chest pain or a heart palpitation. Finally fell asleep but instantly woke back up taking a huge breath. I refuse to go to the doctor because I've just lived with this for so long, why do I need to see a doctor now. Girlfriend cares but when she's fast asleep and I need some comforting I can't really just wake her up. Although I haven't had a panic attack lately I have come pretty close a few times. This almost feels worse though.


Sorry this is so random but I feel exhausted but I can't sleep. Just want to throw up everything I am feeling.