house bound

[lisa marie]

:P hi my name is lisaive have sufferd 4 a long time with agro phobia im allways in the house my husband gets me out from time to time but id rather stop in most of the time people say to me that they would go mad stopping in 4 that 4 that lengh of time but i dont mind i feel safe at home when people come round i get very anxious going out side to me is not worth it to much stress im going to cbt now i hope they can sort me out lisaxx

[em82]

Hi!

I can understand completely.

I've suffered anxiety for 6 months, the majority spent in the house worrying about going out and 'what if.'

My boyf is very supportive and I am o.k. when we go out together, but to go to the shops or out on my own is a major ordeal, strategically planned!! Indecisiveness, worry, panic, giddiness . . . . until I often decide to stay in and then I am relieved!

I was recommended a book, which I recommend to you, Claire Weekes, 'Simple Effective Treatment of Agoraphobia.' I have noticed another post on the Forum about her books on anxiety. They are a really accessible read and have been my bible throughout the months.

Em x x x

[lisa marie]

hi em82 thankyou 4 replying you feel like your the only person in the world with it i ate being told to buck up or pull yourself together i almost wish they would get it so they no what it feels like to b 1 of us i go to the shops every now on then but only on my bike so i can get there quicker i hope the cbt helps me have you had any help at all with your axiety lisa marie

[em82]

hey!

i have heard cbt is VERY good so i really hope you benefit from it. i see a counsellor and am on medication but often feel like it's getting me no-where. they have recommended cbt to me but the waiting list is very long. purchased a book called 'mind over mood' by Greenberg. i have gained most knowledge and support from reading books and articles and visiting this forum. it's a relief to know that i'm not the only one feeling like i'm going crazy!

i have found it hard for friends and work to understand what's wrong with me, actually, only a limited selection of people know my problem, they seem to think by taking medication everything will be back to normal but it doesn't work like that. i would love to swap shoes with them for one day and maybe then they would understand. it's a funny world!

when do you start your cbt? please would you let me know how you get on? from what i know about cbt, it's one of the best forms of 'therapy' and focuses on anxiety, phobias and fears.

i hope you have a good day.
Emily x x x

[lisa marie]

:P hi emily its lisa nice to hear from u again i got on to cbt by brooklands in ilkeston a lady called lorrine dyke got me on the list i waited nearly a year and a half ive had 1 session she told me caffine is the worst thing to trigger panic as well i need to cut my tea down to 2 a day then i go back and c her she also told me that she might b able to get me off my tablets anhd feeling better in 8 months they have a 85% recoverer rate thats very good out of 100%they do your problems bit by bit how long have you had anxeity attacks emily and have you got any phobias

[em82]

hello lisa! how are you today?
85% success rate is a very encouraging figure. i was also told by my doctor to cut out caffeine . . . . . . . . . i used to drink tea by the bucket load and never realised it contains the same amount of caffeine as that of a cup of coffee! apparently caffeine does make you more anxious. i now drink de-caf tea and i do feel less 'jumpy'!

i've started with panic attacks at university but they never really bothered me as they were once in a blue moon and i was able to carry on with my life. it wasn't until august 2005 when i experienced the worst panic attack and i crashed and burned. the months leading up to that experience had been very stressful and i was depressed but had ignored this and carried on as usual. it was in august that i had enough . . . . . . . . panic attacks left me with generalized anxiety disorder . . . . . . . i've been on medication for 5 months now . . . . . . . . . it has helped incredibly, early on i struggled to get out of bed without shaking and panicking . . . . . . was very scary. there are many things i dislike doing now, i feel i've changed as a person - agoraphobic, mild ocd, fear of death and illness, and large social occasions. i'm my happiest when i'm at home!!

how long have you suffered panic attacks?
emily x x x

[lisa marie]

:P hi emily ive sufferd from panic attacks since i was 20 now im 36 so you could say 16 years off and on its a long time to go tjhrough something like this but you have to live day to day one step at a time ive been on 20mgs of citalopram ive been on these 4 2 years what anti deppesent on you onwhen i was really poorly when the depression took over i was really peed off nothing felt right 5the tablets im on now have got me through the worst off it but im still left with death phobia agrophgobia drinking phobia and tablet phobia with having the death phobias i think all the uther phobias will harm me its a very weird world we live in i think day to day is hard enough to get through on its own have you got any children emily

[em82]

hi lisa.

i don't have any children. do you? my panic attacks started when i was 20, i'm 23 now, i just hope i can recover from this. i've had a walk to the shops today, my boyf gives me little pep talks before he goes to work, it puts alot of pressure on me but i was o.k. today. i worry that my anxiety will effect our relationship.

i was extremely reluctant to take medication but at one point i couldn't get out of bed for 2 weeks, for fear of everything. this was the breaking point and was recommended escitalopram. it's the drug developed after citalopram. the first 2 weeks were hell and i could have easily given up . . . . . but within 3 months i was o.k. i've been on meds for nearly 6 months and it has helped alot, although, quite rightly, it hasn't taken away my fears. it saddens me to be going through this and also reading about your struggles. i find it so unfair. it can be hard to remain positive and enjoy life when crippled with constant anxiety and worry.

i have learnt to take each day as it comes and have no expectations. i take quiet gentle steps towards recovery. i hope you can too.
em x x x

[lisa marie]

hi emily what sort of pep talks deos your boyfriend give youit sounds like you are feling better dont let it worry you if he loves you enough hr will stay with you and help you through it all you will have your ups and downs any way through day to day to iday or to you will feel ok then any pressure you get you will feel worse yes emily i have 4 children all boys oldest 1 is nearly 18 then i have a 13 year old then twins at7 years old children seem to keep you going have you any pets emily

[em82]

hello!

4 boys - i bet that's a handful but also a joy. i am the second eldest of 4 children and it's great! my boyfriends sister has 8year old twins and they are a delight! pets - i have no pets, would love a dog however space is limited in my home. my mum has a dog and i love going home to see him, he's a miniature schnauzer and a little monster!

my boyfriends pep talks are given to start my day off positively! on occasion they wind me up and remind me of what i feel i'm missing out on. he does put pressure on which makes me worse, but i know he has my best interests. the pep talks usually consist of, 'todays aim is . . . . . . . .' and he sets me a little aim . . . . . . . to go to the shops, etc, to take each step at a time and be happy in what i have achieved that day.

do you set yourself little goals for the day? - then you can be positive about what you have achieved. i am learning to be happy rather than focus on my feelings and negativity. i think that's what cbt teaches you. how's your cbt going? it's hard but take each day as it comes. the less planned and organised, the better i am. i've never been spontaneous but it seems to work!!

em x x x

[lisa marie]

yes i set oals all the time weather i stick to the goals is a diffrent matter your boyfriend sounds very nice hes trying to keep you positive in your thoughts making goals for you but im afraid unless you have hads a taste of whats its like they dont no what you have to go through on a day to day basis my husband dint no what was wrong with me to start with but now hes very understanding and caring ive known him 19years been married 8 of them this august i have a staffy shes lovley her name is lolai had a staffy before her name buster he deid at 11years old through cancer it broke my heart losing him then dad got me lola somebody was selling her for drugs dad got yher for me she was 10months old now shes 2 and brillant they got her for me when i was really poorly where abouts are you from emily if you dont mind me asking

[em82]

hi!
i live in sheffield, england . . . . . . . . i've noticed that alot of people who use this site are american. where do you live?

my best friend has just got a staffy, he's 4 months old, and a monster . . . . . . . . i imagine it's because he's a pup, just mischievous! my boyf keeps promising me that when we move to a bigger place he'll get me a dog then.

[lisa marie]

hi emily my sister in law lives in sheffield as well i go and visit her sometimes if you do have a bigger house what dog will you have i love staffies ?i live in ilkeston i love it hear my husbandf took me on a walk this morning i dint feel like going first 5 minutes was ok then i had bad attacks all the way back home it takes me most of the day to get myself back to normall do you feel like that when you leave the house?

[em82]

hello lisa.

is ilkeston in derbyshire? i like living in sheffield, it's nice to be near the peak district. i often go to ladybower reservoir where it's quiet and no body about. we had snow yesterday and it looks lovely this morning. my boyfriend and i had a walk in the snow last night, i usually feel very lightheaded and faint with the anticipation of going out, this worsens depending on my reasons for going out. i prefer to go out when it's dark as i'm not likely to bump into many people!! it's very peaceful and nice where i live in sheffield, there's a little village 5 mins walk down the road. if i have to go to the shops on my own i listen to my walkman, that really helps, i focus on the music rather than on how i'm feeling. maybe you should try that? if i have a bad moment whilst i am out, it scares me and it takes a while for me to come round. in the beginning, i'd go to bed and sleep, now i can just sit quietly and it eventually passes. i have spent so long focusing on these horrible feelings, the slightest thing can upset me. my worst feeling is faintness, i get so tense i feel awful. if i could switch my brain off from constantly thinking about these feelings i'm sure i'd be o.k.!!

i'd love a miniature schnauzer. they are lovely dogs. and it would bring me lots of happinness.

i hope you have had a better day today. as it's the weekend my boyf is off work, it's nice to have him about but i feel funny, my routine gets disrupted! sounds funny really!

emily x x

[Mirokia]

Hi,

Well, I do not have Agoraphobia, but my boyfriend does. His parents do not understand, and it hurts me to see this, I am trying to help him but I feel helpless. He says no one understands, but I do, I want to take care of him and care for him, can you help me in this, all I want to do is help him, I give him my time, and love, what else can I do for him?? Please help me.

Sonya[/quote]

[lisa marie]

:roll: hi sonya its very hard nowing what to do for a person with agrophobia ive had it off and on for many years so i now whats its like my husband was in the same persition as you at 1 point it was very hard 4 him to understand to now what to dois he seeing any 1 like a dr deos he suffer from panic attacks or deos he have any phobias i think your doing very well your support is good enough even though it dont show is he on medication at all i bet you feel like your hands are tied round your back i had to go and get proffesional help i dont go out much now if hes not cing anybody tell him to go and get some help there r many support groups lisa

[lisa marie]

hi emily nicde to hear from you again i dont no what them types of dogs are really they sound lovley my sister in law said there snow is queit thick in sheffield she rang me yesterday and told mecant say good day either today colded up or its some type of virus i allways manage to catch somthing how have you felt today lisa

[Mirokia]

Lisa Marie,
Thank you for answering, you know I have some anxiety attacks, because of things that happened when I was younger, but its not the same. All I can do is give him time, and all the love I can, but it seems so hard at time. I dont live in same area as him, an it hurts me knowing I cant do anything, I feel so helpless, for weeks I have been reading on it. I wanna know more? What can you help me with ?

Sonya

[em82]

hi lisa!

i didn't have such a good afternoon yesterday. the day started off well then by the afternoon i was really restless. my boyf and i decided to watch a dvd, i really didn't want to go the shop to get one but did. for the first few moments i was fine, then started panicking because i couldn't find the dvd i wanted, then all of a sudden i realised i was surrounded by people, i went hot, dizzy, had a flash of panic and went disorientated. it was horrible. of course it left me feeling edgy for the rest of the evening. i hate it!!!
bblleeeuurrrgghhh!!

yeah, we've had some more snow over night, i like it when it snows!

i had a cold not so long ago, it makes things feel 100 times worse. i hope you are feeling better today.

em x x

[em82]

Hi Sonya!

As Lisa has said, he needs your support and a trip to the Drs is advisable. Is he on medication or receiving any other professional help?

At first my boyf found it really hrad to understand what i was going through but his support and care has meant so much to me. That really does count for a lot.

em82 x

[Mirokia]

He is on medcine, but he doesnt like it. For everytime he takes it, he is alseep for hours. He feels like he is a prisoner and I can see why. He says, I dont wanna take it because all I do is sleep, and its true, we can be on the phone, and it makes him sleep faster when he hears my voice, I guess that can be a good thing lol, but it turns into I am screaming in the phone to wake him up. He sees it as his "issue" to where I see it as him. What kind of doctor can I go to? An do I need to see if he wants to go to a doctor? I do not live with him yet, I am in the process of trying to! I am going to see him in a couple weeks, should I take him something, or just be me? Honeslty I am scared, but I love him. Thats why I guess I wanna know more.

[lisa marie]

hi sonya what madication is your boyfreind on im on 20mgs of citalopram that dont make you sleep there r many others ouy there as well that will b ok his gp should b able to sort him out proply his gp will give him help with support groups he must tell is gp everything so he nows what med to put him on the anxiety it self makes you sleep our do you think he might have abit of depression with it as well somtimes i sleep in the afternoon and night as well he also needs to tell his gp the tablets r making him sleepy if you havnt got any children they givew you med like that to make you sleep to help you on your way to get better lisa

[lisa marie]

hi emily im feeling a bit rough today with this cold when you felt panicky did you want to run out of the shop i useally do cant b doing with it at all i often think y me why do i have tio have this thing it can totally wreck your life i know there r worse people with worse problems but when i have a attch i dont think about them just myself do you get them feelings as well what deos your boyfriend do when he knows your having a attack

[Mirokia]

Lisa,

I am not sure what medicine he is on, but right now his mom is putting alot of stess on him. She know he has it, but she doesntg care, she is trying to kick him out, and he knows he wont be able to make it on his own, he says I am safe, and I didnt know what that meant until lately. We have tryed to get her to read more on it and she doesnt seem to care. She thinks he is using it for an excuse because he cant get a job, he hates himself and feels trapped, please help me.. I am lost an confused.... I want to help him.. and his mom wont take him to a gp or even group support....

[lisa marie]

hi sonya i cant belive his mum is kicking out why is she dont she care about him thats really horrible 4 him i bet thhats not helping him very much is there any chance you could go with him it might be better that way then you can always sreak to the dr as well tell hoim what you have seen him go through it muswt b alfull 4 him not having support from his own family you go to his gp with him sonya tell your side im sure his gp will help also you can get support number numbers of the web as well if you go in to the drs there are loads of leafets 4 mental heath and stuff it might b helpfull to pick some up i think there r support numbers in there of local groups i hope this helps you sonya he needs help if hes getting that much pressure of his mum lisax

[em82]

Hello Lisa!

I haven't been on the forum for a few days now - had 2 REALLY HORRIBLE days - i think the incident in Blockbuster has had a knock on effet! I really HATE it!! I spent the day in bed because i was that fed up - i was nausea, feeling wobbly and giddy, irritable, scared! My boyf finished work early yesterday and we went to Tesco for a big food shop - i really didn't want to go! In the car park i felt paralysed, as if to scared to leave the car and then as we entered Tesco i realised everything had changed and moved around which added to my confusion! I got angry and upset as i struggled picking veg, why couldn't i be happy and o.k. like the people around me. I started to panic and we whizzed around the shop!! My boyf can tell when i'm getting stressed and panicking, or as was the case in Blockbuster, i shouted for him across the shop!! i'm sorry to be grumbling today but i'm just fed up with these constant anxious feelings!

hope your cold is better and you have had a few better days than me!
em x x

[Mirokia]

Lisa,
I know I have not written in a few days. But things have just happened. I am leaving today at 4pm, to make the 1,400 mile trip to go see Chris. His mom is not being nice to him. She gave him two options, either he can go get a job, or he goes in the hospital, otherwise, at the end of the month, shes kicking him out. She refuses to read forums like this, she says why does she need to read what other people wrote, he had her read information, and I dont understand it, but she refuses to believe anything, she thinks with medicine it can be cured. I know all I can give him is my time, and love, and its all he has from me. But I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, this woman who calls herself a mother. How can you refuse to listen to your own child. I set back and I listen to her, and it drives me mad. What shall I do? I dont have a place of my own yet, so we cant live together, I am bout to live in my car for 3 weeks for him, just so I can see him. But I need to know, I just need to know, is there anything I can do to help her, WHY DOES SHE REFUSE, she thinks he uses it as an excuse, and I know he doesnt. Please help me Lisa, this is hard.....

Sonya

[lisa marie]

hi emily not feeling to good then im ok felt better today i now what you feel like it gets me down really bad i think why me why do i have to have these attacks when i went 4 a walk with my husband last time i havnt been out since not really felt like it at all has your boyf tryed to make you feel any better i shout at my husband if im abnxiuos all voices irritate me dead bvad sometimes my hubby cant help me i have to do it on my own it gets on my nerves why i have to suffer with this it dont sound like you have had a brill time either emily we just have to cope with it best we can dont we lisax

[lisa marie]

hi sonya things dont sound very good at all it cant be nice what your boyf is going through with his mum not beliving him and hes just usinfg it 4 an excuse have you had a word with his mum at all ? what did you say your going to sleep in the car with him i would do somthing like that as well if i was in your shoes his mum dont sound a very nice person at all take my advise and go with him to the dr get him some proff help i now you are doing all you can but with what he is suffering with plus his mum getting on to him witch cant b helping matters the dr will help mhim before he gets any worse when r u going to c him

[em82]

lisa, had a better few days, just very tired. yeah, i shout at my boyf, just get very angry and fed up. he's very understanding and does alot for me but i just want to feel normal and live my life. i wish i could just shake all the anxiety, etc out of me! i know we have to cope as best we can but it can be hard can't it? emily x

[Mirokia]

Hey Lisa,

I know I havent responded in days, but the truth is, I am finally sitting next to him. I arrived in WV in less then 2 days. But now I have been here for almost a week, and things seem ok as far as I can see, but as you know, I havent really seen anything happen, I am hoping it does not. He has witnessed what happens to me when I sleep. Apparently, he said I have night tremmors, and I dont recall it happening, but I have the results from it. I scratched myself alot, and ended up hurting myself. I didnt want him to see it but he did. I dont remember it though. But he hasnt need his medicine as much since I got it here I dont think. But I am going to go, I want to spend more time with him. later.

Sonya

[shyguy]

Hi guys this is my first post, I am a 25 year old male who lives in the UK. I have been diagnosed with "Social Phobia" for quite a while now but I have gotten a lot worse since then, I left my job 3 years ago and haven't worked since, I was extremely depressed at the time and it felt like I had a breakdown. Since then I have more or less been housebound apart from walking my dog for 20 mins late at night during weekdays around the same route, I have no friends or anything. I am also an internet addict, the internet has taken over my life and I just cant seem to stay away from it for too long.

I haven't been diagnosed with Agoraphobia but I'm pretty sure I have some form of it. :( Nice to see a forum like this set up for people like myself, I look forward to reading all of your posts. :)

take care
shyguy.

[Mirokia]

Hey,
Its me again, I am back from West Virginia. I am pleased to report that Chris has come with me. Since the 3 weeks he has been with me, he hasnt taken his medicine very well, he is also going places with me. He said that is isnt as bad as he thought, that no one has listened to him and I have and I encourage to do things, but I also know his limits. I love him, an am moving to West Virginia within a couple months. He is doing well and will be fine...

Sonya...

Keep strong everyone I know its hard.