New to all this - can someone tell me whats wrong with me!?

[T-Man]

Hi - I'm hoping some of you guys out there can help me to understand what's wrong with me! For around six years now I have really struggled with a specific phobia or anxiety, and I don't know if this is social anxiety, a phobia or plain insanity! Its really ruining my life at the moment and I just don't know where to turn or what to do to tackle it. I guess I've decided recently that enough in enough and I don't want this thing talking over my life anymore.
My problem is simple - I am REALLY afraid of eating out! I am a little bit of a fussy eater, but generally I definitely wouldn't say that I have a problem with food. If I am at home I eat big meals and enjoy my food. If I knew I had some nice stuff in the fridge (e.g. steak) I'd be looking forward to dinner. Yet if faced with the prospect of going to a restaurant with friends, or a dinner party at someone's house my heart starts to speed up, I feel sick, dizzy, and ultimately anything but hungry.
I've had only a couple of panic attacks while actually eating out, although usually I have to say that I hit the drink pretty hard and this gets me over my fear in the end - but I know this is really bad. The usual order of things if eating out is that I will feel REALLY anxious all week leading up to the day and then even worse that day. I will then start drinking as early as I can get away with, generally then be okay during the meal, but come away feeling like I've been really lucky to get away with nothing bad happening. The thing is, I am not even sure what I am afraid might happen! I've tried CBT and it maybe helped a bit, but not much.
What's wrong with me, and how can I beat this!?

[cjdelphi]

For me, I can eat in public with lots of people around me quite easily my issue only arises when someone (anyone) waiter, waitress, owner, assistant, whoever starts to try and talk to me about something other than the food or something i've ordered, I get all the symptoms you describe and feel...

I presume you've been like this for most of your life and started quite young in your life?

[cat_star27]

hey t-man,

first of all, it's not insanity!!! my anxiety has gotten so bad sometimes that i feel like i'm going crazy, but i promise that's not the case.

sounds like a specific phobia to me, and not social anxiety, seeing as it's only restaurants that trigger your anxiety.

i'm glad you know the drinking is a problem... it's definitely not going to make your anxiety any better, and before you know it, you could be facing the completely new issue of addiction.

i have general anxiety disorder, as well as a specific phobia - vomiting. so i know for me, it's not something you can just get over, as irrational as it may seem to other people.

as far as beating this, it really isn't my place to say. definitely talk to your doctor though, and they'll know whether therapy or medication are appropriate.

you're not alone!!

[Wes]

Hi T-Man! Like cat-star27 said, it is definitely not insanity, but anxiety, from which many people suffer. It sounds to me like a specific social anxiety. SA can be either general (spanning all social situations) or just specific (like public speaking or eating out). You say you tried CBT, under the guidance of a professional therapist? CBT, if well conducted (including specific social skills training), has a very good chance of helping reduce social anxiety disorders.

[danstelter]

Yes, this is a specific phobia, and there are other phobias out there like it. Some people can't sign their name in public. It's not SA specifically, but it does have an element of it in that it only happens when you are eating in front of many other people!

Did something specific happen in your life that has caused you to feel anxious about eating out in public? Was there a traumatic event that happened to you as a child related to eating out? If you can identify something like this and resolve it, you'll be well on your way to recovering. But, maybe nothing traumatic happened and something else caused this altogether.

It doesn't really matter what caused it; all anxiety can be treated the same way. If you engage in a regular routine of anxiety-reducing dieting (avoiding caffeine and like you noted alcohol), regular exercise, talking to friends/others about your fears, seeing a professional (maybe something other than someone who does CBT would work better for you), and perhaps taking a medication that works for 3-4 hours at a time, you should eventually be able to eat out with much less anxiety once again.

Don't be deterred if you can't do it right away because sometimes it takes some time before you can eat out without too much fear once again.

A question I have for you: what kinds of thoughts are going through your head when you are about to eat? What is it that bothers you? If you don't know, take along a small notebook and go run in the bathroom and write down the thoughts that are scaring you in there; this should provide some insight on the nature of the problem for you.

Good luck and be sure to come back and ask more questions if you need to!

[scrapin_chick]

For about 5 years i could never eat outside of my own home. On the very rare occasion i went out i never ordered any food. Once i was happy that i got through a glass of water when i was out. But one thing i can say is it can be overcome. i now can go out and eat and have no problems. I actually just went of my medication about 1 month ago. And no signs of anxiety. So happy

cheers
Sarah