moggy
08-05-2009, 02:05 PM
hi all
i wasn't sure where best to post this, so i put it in the general section as well
recently joined the forum but haven't really told you much about me, so here goes - I guess i've suffered from anxiety for as long as i can remember - the simplest tasks seem to take so much effort - i feel like my whole life is like being an actor in a performance - i'm trying so hard to get my lines right, but waiting to screw up - so i put in lots of effort just to make sure i don't get it wrong (cos that would be just terrible) - i feel like everyone around me is my worst critic, judging me badly and running me down - i rehearse situations in advance to make sure i 'perform' well, i'm completely focussed on me when i'm in the situation, monitoring how i'm doing and trying to suppress any evidence that would give me away to anyone watching (like blushing or trembling) - and then i review the situation afterwards and decide whether i'm happy with my performance. i do this in all sorts of situations, but much more if the situation involves someone i particularly want to impress (the 'cool' kids when i was at school, a girl i really fancy or my boss at work)
i constantly seek reasurrance from everyone that i'm doing okay and everybody else's opinion matters above my own - i feel like a little boy in a man's world, grateful for any scrap of praise i can get and scared to death that one day i'll let my guard down, get found out and be exposed as a worhless fraud - so i spend my life trying hard to be perfect, discounting my achievements and making sure that everyone thinks well of me - no wonder i feel exhuasted!!
so that's me in a nutshell - anyone else relate to this or am i one of a kind?!!
i wasn't sure where best to post this, so i put it in the general section as well
recently joined the forum but haven't really told you much about me, so here goes - I guess i've suffered from anxiety for as long as i can remember - the simplest tasks seem to take so much effort - i feel like my whole life is like being an actor in a performance - i'm trying so hard to get my lines right, but waiting to screw up - so i put in lots of effort just to make sure i don't get it wrong (cos that would be just terrible) - i feel like everyone around me is my worst critic, judging me badly and running me down - i rehearse situations in advance to make sure i 'perform' well, i'm completely focussed on me when i'm in the situation, monitoring how i'm doing and trying to suppress any evidence that would give me away to anyone watching (like blushing or trembling) - and then i review the situation afterwards and decide whether i'm happy with my performance. i do this in all sorts of situations, but much more if the situation involves someone i particularly want to impress (the 'cool' kids when i was at school, a girl i really fancy or my boss at work)
i constantly seek reasurrance from everyone that i'm doing okay and everybody else's opinion matters above my own - i feel like a little boy in a man's world, grateful for any scrap of praise i can get and scared to death that one day i'll let my guard down, get found out and be exposed as a worhless fraud - so i spend my life trying hard to be perfect, discounting my achievements and making sure that everyone thinks well of me - no wonder i feel exhuasted!!
so that's me in a nutshell - anyone else relate to this or am i one of a kind?!!