Does anyone here distrust their 'friends'?

[Robbed]

By 'distrust', I don't mean that you think your friends are going to murder you, rob you, or do anything else like that. Rather, I mean that you just don't feel like your friends are REALLY your friends. Like they really don't like you that much, think that you are weird, and would stop talking to you in a heartbeat if 'better' people came along (of course, this HAS happened to me, and I feel that it currently IS happening to me). Or that the only reason they give you the time of day is because they want something from you (and this currently IS happening to me). This is a problem I have been experiencing for a REALLY long time, and I just wonder whether I should drop these people from my life. I also sometimes think that I should probably just learn to do without friends, since I will probably NEVER meet someone who I can REALLY trust to want to be my friend.

[Charlene]

Hi Robbed,

I think most people feel the way you do with some of their friends from time to time. And if these particular "friends" of yours are causing you more disappointment than pleasure, then I can't see why keeping them around would be any good. They sound like they're using you for their own conveniences without returning any of the "love". Friends are supposed to make you feel good, not bad.

You know, you can always make new friends. So, try not to put up a brick wall around you to protect your heart, that will make it very hard for anyone to get to know you. Making new friends is difficult, but if you get hurt again, you'll recover. Don't shut out the world from getting to know you just because you've been burned. The world needs to know Robbed!!! :D At least in the meantime you've got us on the forum, we can all help you get through those tough times.

[Robbed]

The world needs to know Robbed!!! :D

You might think differently if you actually knew me. Seriously!

I think the BIG thing is that I am definitely a different, weird, 'freakish' sort of guy. I know it. And everybody else knows it. And before you tell me that 'different' equates to 'cool' or 'interesting' or 'eclectic' (or another such euphamism), let me tell you that it is NOT!!! NO WAYYYYY!!!! By definition, it makes the task of making friends horrendously difficult. And it most certainly opens me up to the kind of abusive friendships I have tended to experience in the past. The way I see things, the best course of action is to become a more independent person. We all want friends. But friendship just costs more than I can afford.

[Charlene]

Oh Robbed, you sound like you're really hurting. Are you sure it's not you who's labelled yourself this way, rather than this being what everybody else sees? Okay, so you're not cool or interesting or eclectic by your definition, but maybe you've got that wrong. You joined this forum to share your experiences and to reach out and help others. In my book, that makes you a compassionate human being, not a freak. I may often come off as being too cheery and happy and I'm sorry if I annoy you. It's just who I am, and I like that about me. To me Robbed, you're not a freak. Unique, maybe, but not a freak.

If you're not getting any pleasure out of having friends around, then sure, go ahead and drop them from your life. There's no rule out there that says you have to have X number of friends in order to be happy. But please don't do it because you've been burned by this last group of friends. By isolating yourself you may find you're feeling even more unhappy and dissatisfied with your life.

[dtrotter]

Hi Robbed,

You should not be over thinking. Life is really too short to find out who you should place your trust on. The best way is to keep a safe distance with your friends. Laugh with them, talk with them, but don't go and tell them your secrets and things that you would not like others to know. well, you can do that via finding another social circle is remote to your main one. So wat u tell the other, the other group wont find out.