Is this just extreme derealization or am I going crazy?

[pinkpears333]

I've been having anxiety attacks everyday for the past month. Each one keeps getting worse and worse. I'm graduating from college next week and instead of being happy and proud of myself, I feel anxious and fearful. Each day I face it with intense anxiety. I never have time for myself, I'm always on the go either having to fulfill school or family obligations. I feel trapped. I'm filled with fear of wondering if I'll succeed after graduation and I am scared of this new era in my life. My parents don't really understand, my home life is a chaotic environment .
Because of my busy schedule, I have been having very intense anxiety attacks. I feel like nothing is real, I'm going to faint or die, and worst of all, I feel disconnected from my friends and family. I even feel disconnected from my boyfriend who usually provides a lot of comfort for me. I feel like a robot and I am indifferent towards everything. Each day I worry, "Am I going crazy? Am I just going to go delusional and forget where I am?" I've been having these thoughts everyday. What perplexes me is that I feel like I'm losing my mind but yet I can recall the place I'm at or the names of the people around but IT DOES NOT FEEL REAL and it really trips me out so I think I must be on the verge of a mental breakdown. It's gotten to the point where I've felt depressed or have told myself that I just want to die. I feel sad because I cannot appreciate this happy moment or any other moments in my life.

[pico]

Pinkpears - I can relate to the symptoms you have described...

Have you seen your doctor yet to discuss Cognitive behavioral therapy or anti depressants?

CBT is by far the better option but anti depressants can be a good temporary solution while you fix what's causing the depression and negative thoughts.

[chrisz]

I agree with Pico.


But do the best you can to IGNORE all physical symptoms of this
disorder. If you can, they will go away in many cases.

But see a Pdoc soon.

Chrisz

[atomic811]

""Am I going crazy? Am I just going to go delusional and forget where I am?""

If you can ask the question then you aren't going crazy. "Crazy" people do not know and usually do not care if they are crazy. :)

I think you have a lot of stress on you right now. Once this passes you should go back to your baseline anxiety level.

You are putting a lot of pressure on "being happy" and "enjoying this time" there is no rule that says you have to be happy or enjoy graduation though I know you would like to feel joy during it.

Graduation means many different things. Sure some are happy because you are proud of yourself, but sad too, an end of a chapter in your life, and maybe not seeing some friends again or as often. The pressure of the "real world" that you are about to enter.

Rushing around and being so busy would make many people without anxiety feel pressure and some anxiety.

CBT would be good. I am not sure how fast you want to rush into anti-depressants since they have their own list of side effects and this was brought on by life in general and most likely not a "chemical imbalance" as many people put it :)

Congrats on graduating and I think you will be feeling better soon enough. Let us know how it goes.

[coops025]

Pressure is another burden to have with Anxiety, yes you can ignore your sytoms which is great for taking your mind off it but your body is still under stress so you need to feed it.

For de-realisation "brain fog" it wont go away easily, you need to have daily magnesium and vitamin B complex along with a good diet with "and i stress this" NO Caffine or Suger.

Ok so if you can divert your mind from all these symtoms which is no0 easy task but will help amazingly and you feed your body the goodies it needs to recover its all good but will take time.

Feelings of not being able to be happy?? No your not going mad, remember your under stress. I felt the same way but eventualy my body and mind was in a good state allowing me to enjoy myself once more.

I thought i was going to die less than 3months ago but with this site along with my own studies im very close to a full recovery :)

[whitewater]

I wouldnt worry about your fear of becoming delusional...the very fact that you can label such thoughts delusional is clearly a sign that your not delusional...its called phenomenology...If you were delusional you would act every second in accordance to that thought. Basically your experiencing intrusive thoughts...and the very fact that you are constantly thinking about them probably makes you fear that you'll one day beleive them. Aslong as you have insight you will not go crazy.

I suffered with certain thought patterns i thought were delusional...one only needs to use rationality to know that they are just infact a thought. And a possible reason for your detachment of other people and surroundings could simply be the fact that your so worried and conscious of whats going on inside your head that you simply lose touch with your surroundings. But its only because your so conscious of whats going on in your head. I suffered from the same thing...trust me youll get over it