Paralyzing anxiety? anyone else been here?

[Alyssa918]

Hi I'm 18 years old and attend school and since the second semester began I've been suffering from some paralyzing and debilitating anxiety.. I'm studying Graphic Design at a highly competitive and small private school, and the intensity has heightened a great deal. I feel as though the anxiety has left me paralyzed, I feel like my body refuses to allow anything productive to go on. I have never experienced anything like this before.. so its very painful for me to endure. Things like music, literature, and art- all things very close to my heart and get me up in the morning don't alleviate the symptoms.. I have tried to watch TV and get lost in the superficial lives of others. Ordinarily I am quick and sharp-witted, charming.. now I feel my throat is clenched, my head is empty. I cannot stand to be alone, because music or television, even silence does not bring me mental solace. I haven't felt myself for far too long, and I am absolutely fed up with it. When does my zest and vigor for life and achievement return to me?

[jakleb]

check out the linden method, it worked for me. you can get it for free on pirate bay. hope it helps

[annier]

Hi. I've just turned 25 and can relate to how you feel. for the past 5 years or so, I've been struggling with various manifestations of anxiety, but it generally has prevented me from doing things. Anything from leaving my apartment to go get a coffee, to starting and completing tasks to following through on plans with friends. It's made even more difficult as this side of me is 180 degrees from how I was before this starting happening and how people perceive me. Those close to me that I've shared this with sincerely try to be sympathetic, but I don't think they understand, because they aren't experiencing it themselves and it's hard to picture someone like me completely unable to do anything. Like you, when things are good, I'm quick, sharp, charming, talented.

Similarly to what you describe, the things that I enjoy or like don't really alleviate the anxiety. I spend a lot of time avoiding and ignoring the things I'm supposed to do and watch a lot of television. That works for a while, and then I end up feeling more anxious for wasting time. I'm increasingly feeling like I'm failing, and it's a struggle to try to do things to help myself.

It sounds like from your situation (age, school, etc) that you are (either from yourself, other's expectations, or some combination of both) under a lot of pressure to succeed. This my problem and people have told me that I'm a perfectionist and too hard on myself. I have times when I'm feeling better and less anxious, and I can recognize that so much of the pressure and the expectations I struggle to live up to are self-imposed.

The way I've dealt with this, with some success, is to allow myself to start things, just do them, just carry on, without worrying if they're perfect or good enough. I can only guess what you're upbringing was, but so many of us are brought up with a particular understanding and measurement of what success is, and this works on different scales, from projects to significant life achievements, and these are restrictive and crushing at times. When I have a small task (right now I'm supposed to be reviewing Corporate Social Responsibility reports for a research project for work), i look at it in a vaccuum (don't worry about the results, the other project components), create a set of instructions or formula of how to complete the task, and just follow the instructions, and just keep at it.

In answer to your question, I don't know when your or my zest and vigor for life and achievement will return to you. I think that maybe your desire to achieve hasn't left you, but is debilitating you. What you (and I) should focus on is today, that's it. What do you need and want to do today. If you take today and try to do one thing, and do that one thing, you can do another one thing tomorrow, and day after day, you will start to do one or two more things. There will be days where you won't be adding, but keep in mind when you have these days where you just need to be sad or whatever, you're not subtracting from the things that you have done over days past, it's a neutral day, and you can add another one thing tomorrow.

Just take each day and do what you can with it. I hope this helps you. Trust me, I know this feeling, I have clenched throat as I'm writing this .