Grace Saunders
05-03-2024, 11:36 PM
Basically, I'm a beginner (with limited experience) in the indie film industry who hopes to one day get a line in a feature film, but I'm also happy just being an extra as well, but I know most websites that charge a joining fee seldom have any jobs on offer. Being an extra is supposedly not glamorous to many actors out there, but we all "have to start at the bottom" as they say.
Like, you could be a registered member of say, Mad Dog Casting and get no texts/emails/whatever in months, if anything crops up at all. That is to be expected. Even when I did get text messages from Universal Extras about stuff (and I've been with them for almost 2 years), they wouldn't explicitly say what the job was for, but none of what they text me about sounded interesting anyway. Well, they would describe what they wanted you to do, but it was really vague otherwise. Sites like StarNow, Fame Street, and Gumtree are hot garbage.
Over the years, I have been plagued by severe anxiety, and I am prone to adrenaline rushes, which in turn make me feel a bit on edge. Travel anxiety. Social anxiety. Motion sickness perhaps. Just anxiety overall. In fact, I never go to busy places much if I can help it, and going on public transport provokes miniature panic attacks, so you can probably tell I have no social life whatsoever, and I also endlessly worry a lot about past events that 100% cannot be changed now. It could be related to bullying and betrayal I've suffered through (both online and in real-life) and the fact I have not found much happiness in my life. I'm very stressed out in my life because I have had tons of problems to deal with, so my self-esteem is very low. Plus, I do not have my own house yet and social services are not helping me at all.
Last year, I could have been an extra in a few short films and maybe even a student feature film, and I'm disappointed that I missed out because I would have perhaps gotten a copy of the work as well as an on-screen credit. Generally, if you message people on Facebook and mention legal issues, or try to justify bouts of perceived unfairness and/or rant about anxiety to strangers, they ain't exactly gonna want to be your chums. But I just feel kind of...stuck!
I do have an IMDb profile, but it looks empty because I am not subscribed any more to the pro version, because it is only free for 30 days and then you have to either pay a monthly or annual fee to retain the pro membership. But why bother if you are a total nobody? Plus, IMDb are very picky about pages that consist of nothing but uncredited work. To be honest, I don't want to be an extra in just anything either. I'd need to like the story/theme, but sadly if something comes up, I keep missing out as I act like a chicken on the day of the shoot. And I'm in Edinburgh, so work is very few and far between as it is.
Unfortunately, due to said anxiety, I feel I cannot go to things like this by myself. When I ask my family members to go with me, they make excuses. Some are genuine. Some debatable. I've also got an older friend who is 55 who did drama with me in a special needs class many years ago. However, it's the same thing: He makes excuses about going with me, because he is a bit of a misogynist and being anti-social himself, he cannot be bothered with activities that don't fund his hobbies. All he thinks about is his model railway.
I have a condition like autism, and I had support workers for years, but this was long before I became interested in movie making. Unfortunately, there was a huge legal matter that occurred because I got feelings for some women who supported me and it was a very long ordeal where I felt I was made to make the best of a bad deal. Well, I don't particularly want to cast it up again. Then I had new support workers in early 2016 that I felt were just being utilized more as stool pigeons than paid assistants. They were also not able to arrange support sessions for extras work. The social services in my city pays the "helpers" £16 an hour, but they claim they cannot just pay an aide to sit around or escort me to and from a movie set, but I tried telling them it's my life and choices, and they could join in too. But he just dictates to me that this is not possible.
Furthermore, I had issues on social media. I was in a zombie film and after requesting that a friend be reinstated into a group, a moderator or ex production assistant removed me too and made up a story about me bugging people just to get rid of me. Then due to her position, my Facebook "friends" turned on me. Thereafter, I noticed people were messing about with my IMDb credit for the film, by deleting it. After much delaying, IMDb personnel assured me they were on the case, so it has since ceased. On top of that, I got a bit ratty with an actress on Twitter because she blocked me over a comment about those people. After that, I rejoined, all guns blazing. Then she started messaging randoms so they would blacklist me from casting me in their movies. For i.e. recently when I messaged a guy about being an extra in his new film this year, he immediately blocked me. So I signed up again to view his friends since that felt odd, and I saw she was a follower. So it seems she is being spiteful, messaging everybody within reach to get them to believe what she says.
I don't suppose my reputation can be repaired now that I'm being slandered like that behind the scenes. Or can it?
Peter A.
Like, you could be a registered member of say, Mad Dog Casting and get no texts/emails/whatever in months, if anything crops up at all. That is to be expected. Even when I did get text messages from Universal Extras about stuff (and I've been with them for almost 2 years), they wouldn't explicitly say what the job was for, but none of what they text me about sounded interesting anyway. Well, they would describe what they wanted you to do, but it was really vague otherwise. Sites like StarNow, Fame Street, and Gumtree are hot garbage.
Over the years, I have been plagued by severe anxiety, and I am prone to adrenaline rushes, which in turn make me feel a bit on edge. Travel anxiety. Social anxiety. Motion sickness perhaps. Just anxiety overall. In fact, I never go to busy places much if I can help it, and going on public transport provokes miniature panic attacks, so you can probably tell I have no social life whatsoever, and I also endlessly worry a lot about past events that 100% cannot be changed now. It could be related to bullying and betrayal I've suffered through (both online and in real-life) and the fact I have not found much happiness in my life. I'm very stressed out in my life because I have had tons of problems to deal with, so my self-esteem is very low. Plus, I do not have my own house yet and social services are not helping me at all.
Last year, I could have been an extra in a few short films and maybe even a student feature film, and I'm disappointed that I missed out because I would have perhaps gotten a copy of the work as well as an on-screen credit. Generally, if you message people on Facebook and mention legal issues, or try to justify bouts of perceived unfairness and/or rant about anxiety to strangers, they ain't exactly gonna want to be your chums. But I just feel kind of...stuck!
I do have an IMDb profile, but it looks empty because I am not subscribed any more to the pro version, because it is only free for 30 days and then you have to either pay a monthly or annual fee to retain the pro membership. But why bother if you are a total nobody? Plus, IMDb are very picky about pages that consist of nothing but uncredited work. To be honest, I don't want to be an extra in just anything either. I'd need to like the story/theme, but sadly if something comes up, I keep missing out as I act like a chicken on the day of the shoot. And I'm in Edinburgh, so work is very few and far between as it is.
Unfortunately, due to said anxiety, I feel I cannot go to things like this by myself. When I ask my family members to go with me, they make excuses. Some are genuine. Some debatable. I've also got an older friend who is 55 who did drama with me in a special needs class many years ago. However, it's the same thing: He makes excuses about going with me, because he is a bit of a misogynist and being anti-social himself, he cannot be bothered with activities that don't fund his hobbies. All he thinks about is his model railway.
I have a condition like autism, and I had support workers for years, but this was long before I became interested in movie making. Unfortunately, there was a huge legal matter that occurred because I got feelings for some women who supported me and it was a very long ordeal where I felt I was made to make the best of a bad deal. Well, I don't particularly want to cast it up again. Then I had new support workers in early 2016 that I felt were just being utilized more as stool pigeons than paid assistants. They were also not able to arrange support sessions for extras work. The social services in my city pays the "helpers" £16 an hour, but they claim they cannot just pay an aide to sit around or escort me to and from a movie set, but I tried telling them it's my life and choices, and they could join in too. But he just dictates to me that this is not possible.
Furthermore, I had issues on social media. I was in a zombie film and after requesting that a friend be reinstated into a group, a moderator or ex production assistant removed me too and made up a story about me bugging people just to get rid of me. Then due to her position, my Facebook "friends" turned on me. Thereafter, I noticed people were messing about with my IMDb credit for the film, by deleting it. After much delaying, IMDb personnel assured me they were on the case, so it has since ceased. On top of that, I got a bit ratty with an actress on Twitter because she blocked me over a comment about those people. After that, I rejoined, all guns blazing. Then she started messaging randoms so they would blacklist me from casting me in their movies. For i.e. recently when I messaged a guy about being an extra in his new film this year, he immediately blocked me. So I signed up again to view his friends since that felt odd, and I saw she was a follower. So it seems she is being spiteful, messaging everybody within reach to get them to believe what she says.
I don't suppose my reputation can be repaired now that I'm being slandered like that behind the scenes. Or can it?
Peter A.