Am I alone, am I crazy, am I depressed or have an AD?

[Anjel]

My family and friends don't understand why I can't just stop worrying about stupid things or why I even bother worrying about them in the first place.

I'm constantly worried about:
1. my boyfriend will leave me (I'm 22 weeks pregnant)
2. my boyfriend is or will cheat on me (he has not that I'm aware of)
3. my family members will die - I actually visualize how these happen from car accidents to chocking to seizures ... you name it, I have dreamed it up in my mind.
4. my son will have another seizure (he has a mild form of epilepsy) and I can't sleep at night (he has them while sleeping) out of fear - it's scary! I often experience flashbacks from the 3 seizures that he has had and play them over and over in my mind. I often "think" about what possibly could happen in future episodes - I play them over in my mind too -from mild to worst case scenario - this freaks me out!
5. my baby will not be healthy or will not make it. (I have had 3 miscarriages)
6. I'm always suspicious about what my BF is doing or how he's feeling about our relationship (we have only been together since June/08, found out I was pregnant 3 weeks after he dumped me in October) We are back together but I'm worried he isn't happy as he really wasn't ready to commit. He tells me (after I ask him) that he is happy but has only told me once that he loves me (by text message)
7. I constantly think up scenarios of either someone's death or illness or my catching my BF cheating on me and I instantly find myself in tears after having these thoughts.
8. I always anticipate the worst and am very negative in all situations.
9. Worry that I'm 'seriously" going 'crazy' and wonder if I will be admitted to the psychiatric ward :(
10. Irritable, unable to relax no matter how much I try, I get this rush of warmth over me the minute someone tells me they are not feeling well (Mostly my son or my bf)
11. Sometimes when Im extemely freaked out I get a trembling feeling that I just can't stop, it's like a shake from the inside out. This does not happen often but happened mostly when my son was having his seizures and for a few days afterwards. (usually when trying to sleep)

These are just some of the isues that i am facing right now. The fact that I am pregnant makes this so much harder as I'm not sure I should even consider taking any meds - but I'm scared of losing my bf (father of my unborn child) I know my son (9yrsold) can notice a difference in me as far as being irritable because he constantly tells me he wishes I could take my meds :( This crap is killing me inside and it seems NO ONE understands what I am going through. I am seeing a psychologist but I just feel that it's not working fast enough - I have been batteling this crap for 4 years now!!

Does anyone else have these same sort of worries??

[clover28]

Reading your post reminded me so much of myself. I had your exact feelings and thoughts and thats just all it was thoughts. I spent all my time worrying and thinking all those horrible images about everything and everyone. I felt crazy and I didnt know what was wrong with me back then--I have always since I was 8 years old had this condition and now I am 41 and finally understand and GET IT that this is not going to go away.
You have sooo much to deal with especially having to worry about your children which is a legitimite worry and causes stress which makes your anxiety worse. Your family and friends dont understand because you have to let them know this is a condition that will come and go throughout your life and sometimes it will be worse than other times. Does your BF know about your anxiety? He should go to your therapy sessions with you and you need to let him know what your are thinking and feeling--all the scary graphic horrible images you see. He either loves you and will stick by you or not. Good for you for seeing a pyschiatrist and getting help. It will get better. Dont be afraid of taking medication there are so many options and you need to take care of yourself first so you can take care of your children. Its not your fault that you have this and you are not causing this to yourself.
I remember that rush of warmth which is adrenaline from your fear of WHAT IF thinking--your dont realize your are having the scary thought. I would also tremble and sweat feel sick to my stomach.
I have GAD and after suffering for so many years I am on Zoloft and finally free of that radio that wouldnt quiet down in my head--I always told my husband thats how it felt. I couldnt shut it off. I now know that if your anxiety, panic comes back time after time its not going to go away by breathing and exercising and wishing it away--I am going to take my meds because I want quality of life. My daughter started having GAD symptoms that gradually got worse and after trying Cognitive therapy and zoloft it is working for her.
Dont feel alone ok. I know how you feel and it sucks soo bad. Be strong, take a deep breath and dont quit--if this therapist doesnt seem to be helping than look for another one that specializes in anxiety. You will get better and your baby is going to be ok. Your BF loves you or he wouldnt have come back they sometimes are scared when we have this condition because they dont know how to help us.
I hope your day gets better have some icecream with your son and get plenty of sunshine. :wave:

[Topcat]

[quote="Anjel"]My family and friends don't understand why I can't just stop worrying about stupid things or why I even bother worrying about them in the first place.
Unless someone has suffered from anxiety they will not understand how frightening and debilitating this can be.


I'm constantly worried about:
1. my boyfriend will leave me (I'm 22 weeks pregnant)
This is a normal worry for many pregnant women.


2. my boyfriend is or will cheat on me (he has not that I'm aware of)
Again this is a normal worry for many women pregnant or not.

3. my family members will die - I actually visualize how these happen from car accidents to chocking to seizures ... you name it, I have dreamed it up in my mind.
This worry is also common, I too visualize awful things happening but remind myself that they are just thoughts and make myself picture something happy to stop it.


4. my son will have another seizure (he has a mild form of epilepsy) and I can't sleep at night (he has them while sleeping) out of fear - it's scary! I often experience flashbacks from the 3 seizures that he has had and play them over and over in my mind. I often "think" about what possibly could happen in future episodes - I play them over in my mind too -from mild to worst case scenario - this freaks me out!
Of course this is understandable any anyone would relate to this as you would with any other illness that could return, just try not to dwell on it to much and remember that 1000s of children suffer from seizures and many grow out of it, so stay positive.

5. my baby will not be healthy or will not make it. (I have had 3 miscarriages)
Find me a pregnant woman who doesnt worry about this let alone one who has had 3 miscarriages. I have a good friend who had a few miscarriages and then went on to have 7 (yes 7) very healthy children

6. I'm always suspicious about what my BF is doing or how he's feeling about our relationship (we have only been together since June/08, found out I was pregnant 3 weeks after he dumped me in October) We are back together but I'm worried he isn't happy as he really wasn't ready to commit. He tells me (after I ask him) that he is happy but has only told me once that he loves me (by text message)
This is a difficult one as nobody can guess what someone else is thinking but he is with you and is standing by you so work on that and try not to let your worries push him away, who knows what our future holds so enjoy what you have now and dont waste time worrying about what might happen, he may find it hard to express himself and if he is apprehensive about commitment then your insecurity wont help.



7. I constantly think up scenarios of either someone's death or illness or my catching my BF cheating on me and I instantly find myself in tears after having these thoughts.
Of course you will be in tears, nasty thoughts and hormones, stop the thoughts when they start, distract yourself and think of happy thoughts. This will take a while to do but it does work - trust me


8. I always anticipate the worst and am very negative in all situations.
Same here, but I always wonder why because everything always works out well so it is just negative energy.

9. Worry that I'm 'seriously" going 'crazy' and wonder if I will be admitted to the psychiatric ward :(
Well if your going im coming with you

10. Irritable, unable to relax no matter how much I try, I get this rush of warmth over me the minute someone tells me they are not feeling well (Mostly my son or my bf)
Irritable, I know that word but whats relax mean? ;-) anyone suffering from full time worry finds it hard to relax but do try to, I have got much better at it recently, I hate it when people are ill too an am always anxious until they are better. No one likes to see someone they love suffering.


11. Sometimes when Im extemely freaked out I get a trembling feeling that I just can't stop, it's like a shake from the inside out. This does not happen often but happened mostly when my son was having his seizures and for a few days afterwards. (usually when trying to sleep)
This is the anxiety (adrenalin pumping around your body) and dont worry this is not harmful to your baby either.


I'm not sure I should even consider taking any meds
Try to stay off the meds - have you tried Rescue Remedy it is quite good and safe in pregnancy.


Hope all goes well :) [/b]