lack of control

[jeepjill]

i have decided that my anxiety is do to lack of control of my life. too busy pleasing everyone else. i want to make changes but cannot bring myself to do it. i feel like such a coward.

[Topcat]

Sounds about right, most people that have anxiety usually find it is the fear of not being in control that can cause all those unpleasant symptoms.

You need to learn to be more ascertive, this isn't easy when you are used to pleasing everyone around you but just try to say No politely the next time someone asks you to do something that you feel would be to much for you, you may feel quilty to begin with but that will soon wear off and you will feel so much better for having taken control. I used to try an do so much for everyone putting myself last and eventually I had to say no as it was making me physically ill.

Another thing that I find is a big cause of anxiety is having to make a decision, if this is the same for you too you will probably already know that once you have made your mind up you always feel so much better not having to worry anymore, I waste so much time saying "what shall I do" "what do you think "what would you do" and "what if I make the wrong choice" finally I snap out of it, decide and wow a huge weight is lifted and I move on wondering what took me so long :rolleyes:

[jeepjill]

how did u know so much about me!!!!!! someone who gets it finally

[Topcat]

how did u know so much about me!!!!!! someone who gets it finally

Cos I am the same as you ;)

Seriously, I am 42 now an have suffered since the age of 4 it took me about 32 years to finally understand my mind, and now I am working on trying fix it.