Evening

[mollydog]

Hi Everyone, I'm new to the forum, but have had anxiety and panic for over 10 years. I can tell you one thing for sure, my panic and anxiety almost disappeared after my ex wife and I split up. I'm not putting blame on a family break up, I'm just being honest with myself and others. I had it so bad one time I went into a DMV to renew my license with all credentials in hand and when it was my turn to go up to the counter the room began spinning, I thought everyone was looking at me and I looked at the guy and said " I'll be right back" he looked at me like I was nuts which made me panic more thinking there gonna call the feds to take me away and walked (very fast) out to my truck, started throwing up and gagging for air started the truck and got the heck outta there leaving behind all my credentials including my soon to be expired drivers license! I ended up calling my sister because my ex (wife at the time) thought I was nuts and told me I was weird or something of that nature so my sister who understood what I was dealing with called the agency for me and ended up talking to an older women who also understood and said for me to come over wednesday nights when knowone is there. I went and did what she said and not a single worry crossed my mind, and guess what, I'm still a licensed driver! I was 17 when I married because of a pregnancy, she loved to spend, I had to quit school and never had a lick of formal education. And what I ended up to be at 41 was a state licensed electrical sub code official in NJ. I'm from PA and had my master electrician license when I was just 21, always side jobbing over and above my regular 40 hr work week and still always broke, turns out my ex was taking all the money outta my savings and my mother who worked at the bank was afraid to tell me, hence I stopped doing side work. The marriage lasted 18 tough years and I was drinking too much so one day I just turned around and walked away from it all after fighting for a month over selling the sub prime mortgage she talked me into getting. Anyway at 37 I met a nice girl from West PA we married October 3 last year and I can trust her with my life! She and her family members have anxiety also. So at 37 I also ended up with a hip fracture that went mis diagnosed and caused me to have a total hip replaced, now I cant work, cant pay child support and they wanna lock me up ! So what do I do, I set a goal and got what I wanted... I now work (if ya wanna call it work) as an electrical inspector doing no physical work, the hardest part about my job is guess what? Seeing the 700 a month deducted from my pay for my 19 year old son who failed 2 grades and works 4 hrs everyday, but I have to pay til he's out of school, anyway I had a lot tossed at me over the last 6 years, raised 3 kids (my 19 year old is the last thank god) become disabled, beat that, now if I could just get that court order off my back I think my life would be about perfect. Except now my mother has informed me she has colon cancer and wont tell me much more than that but gets operated on Tuesday... So hows that story for a first timer in the forum.... There is much more but my fingers are sore from typing. Jim