Hello friends

[HERMIT]

I am new to this site but have suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remeber. It has been more apparent when I started a new job. I have sought out professional help many times. The easiest tasks seem to be impossilble to complete . New people think or react as if I were a idiot . The worst thing is that I am constantly doubting myself at work . Ido a task and wonder if it is wrong but I am too scared to correct it. I know I am not an idiot because I got though high school and college with a degree. It seems the older I get the more anxiety I get . I was verbally and phsycally abused as a child . Sometimes I get steaming mad at myself when I think I should be able to do someting and can't. I have suffered with broken relationships with women and even trusting them. At times I even think that I am cursed with somekind of bad luck. I am happy to be part of this great web site.

[soshy]

Hi, HERMIT. I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I'm sorta new to this site also. The people here are great and very understanding and insightful especially because they all have anxiety. I can really relate to what you're going through and having a bad childhood. I feel stupid and doubt myself often, and when I do want to ask a question in situations like work, my anxiety overcomes me and I end up praying I'll figure out whatever it is myself.

I went to college too and did pretty well, but when it comes to anxiety I guess I missed the courses on Don't Worry, Be Happy. I've had anxiety since I was a child and then as I got older it worsened to the point that I literally could not function (panic attacks everyday, all day). But those days are over. I still have anxiety but thank god I'm so much better. Cognitive-behavior therapy and a SSRI in combination helped me tremendously!

Working towards getting better is hard, but the outcome is like a gift from god! Freedom and control over anxiety was all I ever wanted - forget the prince on the white horse and the rest of it!

I hit a bumpy road recently which set me back some, mostly depression now because I worked so darn hard at obtaining a "normal" life (99% free of anxiety) and the long-term relationship I was in ruined many aspects of my life. Though, things are getting better and I'm feeling better. I too have always thought I have some kind of curse on me!

There's so much great information on this site to help you. I come here when I'm anxious or depressed, or in a good mood. I'm glad you found it. Hang in there. You will get better. I swear to it.

Hope to see ya back here soon!

soshy

[HERMIT]

Hello Soshy , just writting to say thank you for your reply and giving me hope. I always thought that I was the only one with these problems . I went to my therapist yesterday and I am feeling better. Today I had a potenially embarassing moment , I went to work and after I clocked in I found out it was my day off . Well I just laughed it off . I have always been the person to make my co-workers laugh I hope those days return soon. I hope you get over your depression and every thing works out great for you . After my last long term relationship I bought a puppy and it was and still is great therapy. You sound like an awesome person , hope to hear from you again your friend, Hermit

[duddits]

Hello Hermit, and welcome to Anxiety Forum.

I can defintely identify with the way you're feeling about work and other areas of life. Low confidence is the exact reason why I don't want to take higher paying jobs in my field or why I try not to do web projects for people. I'll tell myself self-douting thoughts like "no they wont' like it" or "I'll mess up something". However, with my retail job I don't have a confidence problem at all, because I "know" if I make a mistake no else is knowledgable enough to criticize me. I mean criticism is good in some cases, but it's like a sledgehammer for people with social anxiety.

I too, was verbally abused a child, and it's partly the reason I feel like I must do things "perfectly". It's a conditioned response to the fear of being harshly critisized or verbally abused when I was younger.

My advice to you is to just hold on, a break-through for you could be right around the corner. I never thought I'd be at this point in my life now, even though I'm far from winning the war with social anxiety. The short time I was on medication, added with the job I have now, have worked wonders for me with my social anxiety and low concidence issues.

[soshy]

Hey Hermit -

The puppy was a great idea! What kind is he? Pets are so appreciative and their love and companionship has so much less baggage then a mate. I mean what's a little poo poo in the yard when they come running to you for kisses and rubs just cause ya walked in the door.

They're better sleep companions too! ;) hehe!

You poor guy, so ya went to work for nothin. That's great you laughed it off. I have social anxiety and general anxiety, so I don't think I could laugh it off as quickly as you did!

I’m glad you’re feeling better. I saw my therapist yesterday! We're working on small steps to get my life back up and running. That's hard for me cause I analyze my goals too much. I always like to critique a well organized and calculated approach when it involves the big stuff like work. I want my life back so badly and I have long road to go, and when I look at the whole picture of where I want to be, I just sorta go numb and then depression sets in and I start wishing my name comes up soon on the lobotomy list! :blink:

So, no more planning, analyzing or any type of thinking. Well, somehow I subconsciously transferred it to cleaning. I smell like windex, bleach and furniture polish. My friend had some minor surgery, so I’m going to her house for a day or two to help out. I packed all my cleaning supplies; she knows how I get and she’s so excited I’m coming! lol

Oh, and my poor cat - he likes to be brushed but he may be in the beginning stages of balding!

Take it easy - soshy

[leftie15]

Hey i am new to the site been diagnosed with GAD and panic attacks suffered when i was younger never knew what it was or why i was scared just recently had my symptoms reoccur its been tough just started some meds just thought i'd be good to talk to people just like me i'm good guy just going through hard times any advice would help

[HERMIT]

Hello leftie, I would be glad to give you some advice and some hope . I have been going to therapy on and off for the last 15 years . Just recently I had encounted my horrific anxiety attacts maybe because I started a new job . I t is really weird because I thought I was over it . Breaking up with my girlfriend a couple of years ago put me in a great big depression and I did not ever leave my house and I would say that is wear this problem started up again . When I went to therapy the therapist taught me some breathing techniques . He said to breathe through your stomache and not your chest . Just imagine a ballon is at your stomache and you are trying to blow it up .Breathe real slow and deep and bring your stomache out as far as you can, exhale slowly and repeat . He said that I should do it 15 minutes a day or when ever I start to get stressed. Another thing that helps me is getting exercise .Lifting weights has given myself a big confidence boost . I CAN see myself getting over this slowly . I used to get attacks so bad that I could not even talk and I would studder . I have gotten so hard up to get over this I told myself that I am going to attack myanxiety attacks . I am tring to get out and go places where there is alot of people . One more thing I noticed is that (espeacally starting a new job ) some people notice a lack of self confidence and they try to put you down and that is my driving force to get rid of this and I have had somewhat of a break though . Hey ,I am a big strong guy and I felt a little bullied around. I showed confidence in my self and I noticed respect from co-workers . Hang in there you are not alone and I hope you get over this . I did take mediacation but it had too many side effects so I stopped taking it . Talk to someone you trust, stay busy ,try the breathing techniques and try to use imagery are the best things I can tell you . Good luck I hope I helped you . Your friend HERMIT

[leftie15]

Hey Hermit thanx man u sound just like me i've had some depressing times gone through some crap same here tho thought i had my anxiety licked was anxiety free for 5 yrs it was awesome girls sporting events concerts everything now its just come back 10 fold ihave been seeing a therapist for a couple weeks he did show me the breathing techinques altho i haven't mastered them yet i'm gettin there another one thats pretty kewl is turning your anxiety into an image and making it bigger and smaller til u make it so small u can just throw it away but i'm defentily gonna start goin to the gym therapist said got get those endorphins pumpin so i'll do that but thanxs alot for writing man always good to talk to someone who knows what i'm goin through hope to talk ya man good luck on your road to succes too