"Substitution" worry

[m@rk]

First of all, I'd like to say that all my previous worries have finally be squashed and I've been fine for ages now...and mostly thanks to tips I've been given on here, so thanks very much :D

However, there's one thing that's now bugging me, although the root of it is very normal:

I finish uni in the summer and have no idea what I'm going to do. But this is where it gets strange -- although it's only uni that finishes then, for some reason I can't imagine anything in my life beyond then as if I'm going to die. So for example, if I see an event on a date that is prior to uni ending, it just passes by me with no problem; but if I see one beyond uni finishing, I get a sudden shiver.

Is it possible that my mind can't handle my future being uncertain for the first time ever so it makes me think I'm going to die.

In other words, there's a substitution going on because my mind has encountered something it doesn't know what to do with?

Apologies if this doesn't make much sense!

[Robbed]

It sounds to me like a reaction to your fears of the unknown. After all, of all the things you learned in school, finding a job and performing in the workplace were probably not among them. Do you feel this could be the case?

[m@rk]

That does seem to be it, yes.

Although I think the size of the "unknown" is playing a part: when starting Uni, that was mostly unknown because what I did know was that it would be nothing like school. But I looked forward to that.

It's an interesting one, actually. That the mind is prepared to use the ultimate fear in place of one that is relatively trivial...

[Robbed]

Although I think the size of the "unknown" is playing a part: when starting Uni, that was mostly unknown because what I did know was that it would be nothing like school. But I looked forward to that.

But the fact is that, although college is different from high school, it is stil just school. You basically know what you have to do to succeed, and know how to do it. When transitioning from school to work, things are MUCH less clear cut. And to further complicate matters, you have to worry about a job search. This in and of itself is VERY fear-provoking for MANY people - often MUCH more so than the actual job itself.

[lenalane]

M@rk,
What you are feeling is normal and part of life. Fear of the unknown is a hard thing to get over. By 'get over' I mean not letting the fear stay with us for too long. I just graduated from university in June and I was soooo afraid of having a job, functioning properly, being sociallly successful, etc.. It has been 7 months and I am doing just fine. It is a bit of a struggle because I am such a scaredy cat, but I deal with it. What I tell myself is, you never know unless you try. Failure is generally self-defined. So give yourself a break.

If I have gone off on a tangent and not answered your question at all, I apologize. But if I did, just believe in yourself. You do have a future after uni. But now is not the time to worry. Stay in the present. Do not dwell on the past or the future.
Take care,
Lenalane

[broadwaymaven]

I would agree with you. I had the same problem when I graduated. It gets easier. I think it is something about control as well as the unknown. So many people with anxiety disorder like structure and patterns. When you've been in a pattern for years in a row, it is hard to imagine something else. Now, it is hard to imagine your future because you don't know what it will be. Hopefully you will be able to find a job or a project to last you the summer to determine what will happen next. Once you have that knowledge and you have that ability to create a new structured life for yourself, you will begin to relax.

In the meantime, try and get mentally prepared. Try and think about it by stepping outside of the emotional aspects and think positively. The next chapter in your life will be full of exciting and wonderful experiences. Focus on those great opportunities and start to create a plan hopefully your fears will be filled with positive excitement.