dolphin
12-21-2008, 12:14 AM
I found these 12 rules of happiness when my anxiety was at it's peak. I put my mind to it. It took a bit of practice but I'm getting there. There are a few things that I can't change right now like my job for one, but I focused on this advice and am about 50% of the way.
Nobody is happy all the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others, and it doesn't seem to have much to do with material goods or high achievement---things many people spend a lot of their time worrying about. So what do they have that you don't?
1. Relax. Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Try not to over analyze things. Stress can cause many mental, physical, and spiritual problems in your life. One of the major causes of stress is worrying about things that are out of your control. Learn to recognize these things and if you can truly do nothing about them, then just let them go. Take time to laugh at yourself and the situations you find yourself in. Laughter is a powerful, positive medicine and the calmer and more peaceful you can take things, the happier your life will be. It wouldn't be life if some bad things didn't happen.
2. Smile You would be surprised how much of an immediate difference physically smiling has on your mood, if you smile and force a little laugh you will feel your mood lighten and you won't have to force it next time.
3. Take the good with the bad. No one is happy all the time. Everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears. We cannot change the past, but we can enjoy today, and look to the future. If we are prepared to take ownership for the past and accept that everything that's happened in our life, good and bad, has made us the person we are - the battle is half won.
4. Be thankful. A key component of happiness is acceptance - learning to be grateful for what you have. A lot of people know it but don't keep it in their minds. Comparing your life with others' is dangerous. Accept the gifts you have and know that no one is better than or less than anyone else is.
5. Be yourself. Much criticism is caused by people who are discontented with themselves, not with you. Your goal may be to open up completely to yourself and learn to be your own best friend by being completely honest with yourself. What do you want out of life? What makes you truly happy? Who do you want to be?
6. Pursue goals that make you happy. Strive for long term goals rather than short term satisfaction. It's very easy to gain short term satisfaction--a quick high, a fast relief from your current problems (such as drugs, alcohol, sex). But it is what it is, a "short term" satisfaction, and the effects die out very soon, leaving you with an empty feeling that is sometimes worse than before. Set long term goals, goals which take time, thought, and effort to achieve. This will make you continually work towards improving yourself bit by bit and will give you the satisfaction of bringing a permanent change in your life.
7. Focus on the Objective. If the thoughts you are thinking are not giving you that 'good feeling', then think about something else that will make you feel good in that moment. Observe your thoughts and ideas consistently throughout the day. Sometimes this may not be as easy as you think if you are stuck in a "destructive" train of thought and your brain chemicals are getting fired up and forming "anxiety or anger" thoughts. Anxiety, fear and anger patterns can be interrupted by focusing on something else. This will dissipate the rush of chemicals that are making you feel bad. Immediately then go back to picturing scenes/remembering things/imagining, planning stuff that makes you feel good.
8. Develop healthy relationships.
A. Have a healthy relationship. If you're dating, get involved with activities that reflect who you are, and get to know people who like the things you do. Get involved with someone who loves life and pursues happiness the way you do. If you're in a relationship, strive to make that relationship healthy.
B. Choose your friends carefully. Nearly everyone needs someone who cares for them and treats them well. If you have friends who are treating you badly, or are not supportive of you and your goals to improve your life, then ditch them and find friends that do care about you. If you can't find any friends like that in your current circumstances, then look elsewhere. If you're feeling sad, there's nothing like going out with your friends to make you feel better. Surround yourself with friends who are beneficial, encouraging, and helpful. We all need this continuing, nurturing encouragement to make solid desired progress in life.
9. Diversify Studies show that the happiest people have several things going on in their lives at once. They have a spirituality, a career, a relationship, a hobby, social activities, a pet, an exercise routine...they volunteer, meditate, learn new things, etc. Then, if one area of life goes awry, there are still plenty of other areas to help them cope, and that are still going well! You can pick variety or routine, but...diversify!
10. The more different areas the better, as long as you prioritize what is most important to you.
11. Make someone else happy. When you're feeling powerless to create happiness in your life, do something to make someone else--anyone--happy, and you'll remember how easy it really can be. Isn't it true the happiest people we know are typically the ones who for some foolish reason are always ready to give you the clothes off their back? And frequently it is true that the most discontented people are the ones who are selfish, demanding, and inconsiderate of others. The happiest days of our lives, when we really dig down deep, is when we see the smile on the face of a person who we care about. Even helping a stranger can remind you of how much you really have, because of how much you can give. Serve at a rescue mission and you will learn the meaning of "I cried because I had no shoes and then I met a man who had no feet."
12. Dance, Sing, and Laugh as much as possible for every reason and for no reason. If you don't feel like it, put on some music that you know will make you feel like it, or watch or read something that makes you laugh.
Nobody is happy all the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others, and it doesn't seem to have much to do with material goods or high achievement---things many people spend a lot of their time worrying about. So what do they have that you don't?
1. Relax. Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Try not to over analyze things. Stress can cause many mental, physical, and spiritual problems in your life. One of the major causes of stress is worrying about things that are out of your control. Learn to recognize these things and if you can truly do nothing about them, then just let them go. Take time to laugh at yourself and the situations you find yourself in. Laughter is a powerful, positive medicine and the calmer and more peaceful you can take things, the happier your life will be. It wouldn't be life if some bad things didn't happen.
2. Smile You would be surprised how much of an immediate difference physically smiling has on your mood, if you smile and force a little laugh you will feel your mood lighten and you won't have to force it next time.
3. Take the good with the bad. No one is happy all the time. Everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears. We cannot change the past, but we can enjoy today, and look to the future. If we are prepared to take ownership for the past and accept that everything that's happened in our life, good and bad, has made us the person we are - the battle is half won.
4. Be thankful. A key component of happiness is acceptance - learning to be grateful for what you have. A lot of people know it but don't keep it in their minds. Comparing your life with others' is dangerous. Accept the gifts you have and know that no one is better than or less than anyone else is.
5. Be yourself. Much criticism is caused by people who are discontented with themselves, not with you. Your goal may be to open up completely to yourself and learn to be your own best friend by being completely honest with yourself. What do you want out of life? What makes you truly happy? Who do you want to be?
6. Pursue goals that make you happy. Strive for long term goals rather than short term satisfaction. It's very easy to gain short term satisfaction--a quick high, a fast relief from your current problems (such as drugs, alcohol, sex). But it is what it is, a "short term" satisfaction, and the effects die out very soon, leaving you with an empty feeling that is sometimes worse than before. Set long term goals, goals which take time, thought, and effort to achieve. This will make you continually work towards improving yourself bit by bit and will give you the satisfaction of bringing a permanent change in your life.
7. Focus on the Objective. If the thoughts you are thinking are not giving you that 'good feeling', then think about something else that will make you feel good in that moment. Observe your thoughts and ideas consistently throughout the day. Sometimes this may not be as easy as you think if you are stuck in a "destructive" train of thought and your brain chemicals are getting fired up and forming "anxiety or anger" thoughts. Anxiety, fear and anger patterns can be interrupted by focusing on something else. This will dissipate the rush of chemicals that are making you feel bad. Immediately then go back to picturing scenes/remembering things/imagining, planning stuff that makes you feel good.
8. Develop healthy relationships.
A. Have a healthy relationship. If you're dating, get involved with activities that reflect who you are, and get to know people who like the things you do. Get involved with someone who loves life and pursues happiness the way you do. If you're in a relationship, strive to make that relationship healthy.
B. Choose your friends carefully. Nearly everyone needs someone who cares for them and treats them well. If you have friends who are treating you badly, or are not supportive of you and your goals to improve your life, then ditch them and find friends that do care about you. If you can't find any friends like that in your current circumstances, then look elsewhere. If you're feeling sad, there's nothing like going out with your friends to make you feel better. Surround yourself with friends who are beneficial, encouraging, and helpful. We all need this continuing, nurturing encouragement to make solid desired progress in life.
9. Diversify Studies show that the happiest people have several things going on in their lives at once. They have a spirituality, a career, a relationship, a hobby, social activities, a pet, an exercise routine...they volunteer, meditate, learn new things, etc. Then, if one area of life goes awry, there are still plenty of other areas to help them cope, and that are still going well! You can pick variety or routine, but...diversify!
10. The more different areas the better, as long as you prioritize what is most important to you.
11. Make someone else happy. When you're feeling powerless to create happiness in your life, do something to make someone else--anyone--happy, and you'll remember how easy it really can be. Isn't it true the happiest people we know are typically the ones who for some foolish reason are always ready to give you the clothes off their back? And frequently it is true that the most discontented people are the ones who are selfish, demanding, and inconsiderate of others. The happiest days of our lives, when we really dig down deep, is when we see the smile on the face of a person who we care about. Even helping a stranger can remind you of how much you really have, because of how much you can give. Serve at a rescue mission and you will learn the meaning of "I cried because I had no shoes and then I met a man who had no feet."
12. Dance, Sing, and Laugh as much as possible for every reason and for no reason. If you don't feel like it, put on some music that you know will make you feel like it, or watch or read something that makes you laugh.