My appearance in court today, was an EPIC disaster!

[The Scottish Pedro]

Not available

[Dahila]

I had warned you a few times. I knew it is going to end like that . Sorry, you should not put stick in termites

[Ponder]

Try to think of it as no more than a speeding ticket where you just ride out the time until it's no more on the mind. The non harassment order should not be an issue given you have no intention. Sure it's a branding of sorts but only if you allow it to be.

All I can say Pedro, is I know the agony of that kind of internal rage well enough. The more we fight it the more agony we feel.

Perhaps it's finally time to move on. At any rate I wish you all the best with just that.

[Ponder]

I love your analogy and hear ya on all counts. Courts I have been able to avoid of late and I want to keep it that way for the exact reasons you have hit on. Sadly it is very much the same in hospitals. Unfortunately as as you get older such can be hard to avoid. I've decided I am going to start missing the so called checkups where they shove things inside you and the like. I get cancer, I get cancer ... although thank *&^% they can now do some tests without having to probe. Point is, the world in which we live is a mad house pedro. Don't by into this imperfect card because it's worse than imperfect ... it is *&^%ed!

Now having said that, things can get better once we accept whatever. It helps to make better decisions that we ourselves can live with. Whilst those in health care are conditioned to keep people suffering in order that they continue to breathe, it's OK for us to give in and care less for such things - OR IT? lol - That too gets legal where I am yet to follow up and get my advance care health directive which shall state 'DO NOT RESUSCATE!' It's like everything we do in this world, we have to go to great lengths to untick all the boxes lest others have the right to do whatever they want with us. Who really wants to live in such a world? I know I don't. Alas I am not so far gone as not to make the most of what is on hand around me:

At least we have the doldrums and our games. :D

[Ponder]

Yea - human life does not really measure up against today's value system at all. ... I have a video processing for you re How To Embed ... Be ready soon. ;)

I'm glad you have fond memories of your grandmother. I also have fond memories of my grandmother as well.

[Ponder]

Reading ...

[Ponder]

Right now I am so toxic I am not sure I am much help.

Just do the time so to speak. Keep out of trouble. Most of all, take the lessons learned regarding the legal system and embed them as deep as you can. The system is run by people. Understand the conditioning and how it is that people are taught to hate as they do. Take that hatred and burry that deep within your psyche. Let if fester and ponder what it really means to be human. Do this while jumping through all those new hoops for the next 3 years. Forget that other shit about 10. That's fucking nothing. Notice how they tried to shame you with that.

Just take on all that disdain and foster it well. Hold it as long as you can. Then when able let it all rip in however many posts to say what you really feel. But whatever you do, don't ever let those bastards get a chance to put you behind the dog box again. Do what you can to not only avoid the legal system, but also to avoid anyone that subscribes to it.

Is ok to reach out and make the odd connections but give up ever thinking that any of us need to connect with others in order to find peace. You and I may benefit from what is commonly referred to as support people - I used to think human beings - but unless we take repsoniilty for ourselves none of the means anything. We are better off without them is what I mean. Most reading will not understand unless they have even been in such a position to warrant such a service. I feel I understand you better than most in here but at the same time we are all different.

That letter was indeed over the top. Just heed what you need to heed and ignore the rest of the ego trip in that letter which was plain to see.

Do the time - stay out of trouble and avoid the true psychopaths within the system. Those caught up in their possessions, property and BS identities. More nature and less people. At times many of us need to cut all people. I have stopped going out and no longer conform to the aims of my NDIS plan. My aims are to stay the fuck away from all humans at this point and time. Is best that way. I don't fit into this world any more. this way I stay out of trouble. I avoid it like the plague because ending up in court, hospital or any local authorized position is equivalent to being in a totalitarian state prison (any western prison) which is exactly what the place in which I live (someone else's home) feels like. I am learning to live in fear where fear if getting stronger everyday if not by myself - is being manifested from someone else screen into the street and so on.

My bet advice to stay out of trouble is to stop interacting with people. That said I am going on a bike ride this morning (nearly 1am for me now) with a friend who just got out of the psyche ward - they be about the only kinds of people I will give the light of day in today's world.

I trust no one else because they are nothing but batteries to something much more sinister in a world bent on money and nothing else.

Fuck them and fuck that letter.

There is not such thing as community left. It's all a sham. Just play along as best you can. ;)

[Ponder]

Impressive to hear someone on the other side of the planet name all those bands just the way you did. If I did not know better I would of thought you grew up here talk that language just like you did. :)

Forgiven my downer posts last night Pedro. I myself and moving on today with more positive stuff.

I hope you have a good chill weekend.

[Ponder]

Yea man, truly impressed you named all those bands. Alsom impressed how you said you did some work on wiki as well.

About those thoughts coming and going. I know well how that can happen. Hang in there man. It really is about time at this juncture and it's OK to lose the plot. Christ knows I did last night. I got a script somewhere that I could or should go check in for those moments kind of thing, but belting it out like I did seem to help.

I just wanted to say I understand the process your going through and acknowledged its still in the raw process only just having come to a head ... but form what you have written and how you continue to do so ... makes me think your going to endure this without too much dysfunction (lack of a better word)

You've actually been a source of help for me more than you know. This is something both Sal and I have said to each other before.

In that, I am thankful that you have been able to reach out in this forum and that this forum is still running. I have to admit this forum is very much a mystery to me - but oh well ... Very glad it is here. I think whilst it seems dead - It offers way more than other places in terms of a refuge. Yea ... this place is definitely one of a kind refuge. It will be sad for us few if and when it no longer functions.

Anyways Pedro ... here's to better days. ;)

[Ponder]

Standards are key ... try not to have any. lol It took me a couple of broken relations but in the end it was not having any standards that saw me make a connection that has lasted well over 30 years and still going. When my wife was 18, people's faces, actions and ways of being, were not dictated by their displays as they are today. Such devices did not exist in the way they do today. I do not envy the task of making such connections in this world today. It's very much an alien one to me.

Is best to find peace with ourselves, because everything we are is reflected back in a flash this day and age. I would not say they are all like that online. To be sure there are many twisted and lonely souls that are unsure how to connect. That sounds a fair bet. If I were not committed like so, I would look in the bottom of the barrel where no one else looks and seek to make connections deep down there. You would be surprised where a good dose of confidence can be found. One genuine smile and a couple of meet and greets without expectation I think would be the shot regardless of online or not. Give it enough time and you will see. I'm certainly no expert on such things. Like I say, I do not envy making connections in todays world as fractured as it be. How can you connect with people who don't even know who they are? TIP - avoid that ones who think they know. Put a hand out for those that don't and just be there when at the meet and greet. Easier said than done. I know.

Yea the cost of living is like pretty high and has gotten higher since CV. Those few I know on benefits that are less able than me are struggling with rental increases ... let alone food. Sure is a tough one. I tell ya pedro, that's a good reason to find a partner if your on your own. Two is better than one when it comes to surviving on your own. I was lucky like that in my younger day. Back then I found it easy to hook up with another and it was often the struggles that made us closer. It was not all bad. In fact I would reason some of the benefits conveyed today within whatever means testing and the price of living, has pathed the way to today's fractured relations and communications when it comes to people in general. I can't even have a conversation in FB chat when selling items because the other person on the other end is most likely tied up with several other functions on their screen. People are now like this standing in line at the grocery store. Go figure. No matter ... just look for that one that is not. Then you know you have something worth chasing.

I've done very well on refurbished laptops on eBay. I've spent thousands and saved thousands doing as much. That said, I understand peoples reluctance. I know well how to navigate the complexities when they do hit regarding the rubbished and used market. Just do what works for you. I'll be upgrading but that's a ways off if I can help it. Be aware that windows 11 will not run on some components. Personally I feel it is way too early for windows 11 and know many high end users that will be sitting on 10 even though they have the power to run 11. That said, if you want to buy new, make sure the components are window 11 ready. Don't expect to play any 3D performance games if you are not spending big $$$ - lest you stick with a windows 10 gaming laptop or one that has a dedicated GPU and minimum of 16GB of ram for older titles. 32GB Ram is fast becoming the new standard re the latests AAA games regardless of debate.

Yea man - My advice re your ending of above is to depersonalize it. Drop the names, then drop the images in your head and move on as best you can. Disconnect as best you can.

That's a rap from me.
Later Pedro.