My life really does suck!

[The Scottish Pedro]

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[Ponder]

Hi Pedro. Nice to see you again. People who make comments like that about autism don't even know what it is. I like my brain and absolutely love my grandsons to bits. Autistically so. :)

I've seen you round the forum before and have read most of your posts. I'm not saying we are the same, but I see a lot of similarities and chime with much of what you say.

Keep writing if it helps. I know it feels nice to be acknowledged. However, even when I feel that is lacking I still get a lot out of my writings.

Best I can say is that I do my best to change the things I can, and try not to waste my time focusing on those that I can't. That said, writing about those things we can't change could be seen as a process of purging. I guess it comes down to how we write and how often. Both of those facets being variable with no one size fits all kind of thing. We evolve depending on what works for us and the choices we make. Lately I have been adopting the mind set of - "when all else fails - befriend self." I also think it's good to leave exclamation marks out of the equation as well. To which I note you have used none. Don't get me wrong. I understand such expression has its place. I just think that when being kind to self - writing with a lot !!! often holds me back. This was a good write up Pedro.

I don't beleive we suffer in order to learn, but I do beleive purging helps and it's during that process that the opportunity for growth takes place. I guess on second thoughts → !!! has its place, although being kind to self is the way to go. It's all a process. loneliness is hardcore man. I hear ya. This being the reason I often turn inward with the goal to find myself. Not that I am into goal setting. I probably see it more as an intuitive call with a natural yearning to self sooth in a different way to that most mental health academics might labeled as something else. It's a messed up world my friend but I do think the answers lay within and that I for one often find solace in that despite the feeling of loneliness. I just try to allow the feeling be what it is rather than resist it. Yet during my purging episodes anyone would think I am doing the opposite.

At any rate, I mean not to give advice as I have the brain that others would inflict upon others when they themselves can't regulate. hehe. All good bro. Hang in there and good to see you back in the forum. Just wanted to say I'm reading ya and do whatever works for you. Nice to see you back.

[Ponder]

Hi Pedro. That is what we are led to believe; one would think. Whatever the truth, laws and rules are designed to be complex for a reason. They serve the few and silence the many. The scales are tipped in a way that sees injustice swing the hammer that comes down on anyone who dares to question what is written. My wife works in the court house where people are squashed every day. The system being what it is will ensure many get their day in court, but rarely is justice served.

Once you realize justice has nothing to do with the rules or right and wrong, it is possible to circumnavigate the complex maze. Sadly, this takes a lot of money for those that know little about such things. Legal aid is not much chop ... it's more like a conveyor belt to keep the fodder coming. One could strive to learn the game and represent themselves. However such an attempt is extremely draining and more often than not creates a new level of PTSD which defeats the purpose.

Don’t get me wrong. Depending on what is at stake it might be very well worth fighting for what you believe and not simply letting the laws define who you be. Just be prepared that courts are well known for doing more to create victims as opposed to listening of them. I’m currently party to a case that’s been in the making for seven years. Prior to that my life has been in and out of court for decades. I do have a good idea of how it all works. Whilst I have won a few appeals, I can tell you that in the end nobody really wins.

All that said, if you can handle a loss whatever your worst fear – whatever your definition of a win, it might be better to of tried than not at all. Just as you said when signing off in your last response.

Whatever you choose, I wish you all the best. Forgive my bluntness regarding my own experiences. These days I do whatever I can to avoid the courts. I sincerely wish you the best.
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Re Covid – I would love to see a big fat red stamp plastered across the world that says ‘Canceled’ It is one case where throwing it out would see the universe a much better place. I think most of the time we would be better to leave things be and make no cases at all. To no longer feed that urge of always having to win. Winning is not what we are led to beleive. The cost of letting be is far cheaper and generally yields longer lasting rewards, although not readily seen. Sorry I just reverted to previous topic. Although letting Covid be, and all that surrounds it, works just as well.

Forgive my long reply – I am on your side brother. Win, lose or draw – Karma is the best enforcer of them all.
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You still gaming? If so. what you playing these days? I've been mixing mine up of late. Currently playing Subsistence. (https://store.steampowered.com/app/418030/Subsistence/) I like to play vegan - but on occasion have to pull out my gun. :) I best go check out my base, more so my garden. I also need to do some fishing. I'm not exactly vegan - whatever that is. I may very well yet load up resident evil. hehe.

Hope this finds you well as can be.

[Kirk]

I have paid for many women in the past and I have pretty much found them to be friendly and nice overall and they have taken care of me nicely. I always preferred Asian women. I know a number of people who are married and you are better off then them being alone. One person in particular has been married to a South American woman who periodically slaps him and belittles him. He is better off being alone.

[Kirk]

A number of years ago, there was a friend of mine who was a fellow CPA. He was in his 50's and was married and had 2 daughters, both in there early 20's. He was working in a CPA firm as a partner and began to have an affair with the cleaning woman, who was in her 20's and from Jamaica. Eventually he left his wife and married her and had a son with her. He was very successful and had a house here in Maryland and one in Florida. The marriage began to go downhill and on a Tuesday he called me and he sounded very frail on the phone. He told me he was going through a bitter divorce and he may lose his home in Florida, among other things. He told me he could not take the stress and it was taking a toll on him and he did not know what to do. I tried to help him, but to no avail. Three days later he shot and killed himself.

[Ponder]

I'll take it your not playing any game at the moment Pedro.

Inspiring stuff Kirk.

In relation to boxing gender according to what country or flag they live under - or people in general. I'll just say that never ends well. I much prefer an outlook where I see people as people. They all have to same fallibility and potential.

Yes Pedro - you will have a long wait. Most of the court cases here have slowed to a crawl. Since CV does not discriminate, I'm sure it's the same everywhere when it comes to admin.

PS - I had many transgender friends help me when I was sleeping on the streets. No they did not want to *&^% me. They generally just wanted to help. They were not all from the one country.

[Kirk]

I just clicked on the link you gave for your YouTube channel and it said video unavailable.

[Ponder]

I just clicked on the link you gave for your YouTube channel and it said video unavailable.
Same here Pedro:
https://i.ibb.co/KyCLxKM/video-unavailable.png

[Ponder]

Working. Thanks Pedro. Like your accent. Listening now.

[Ponder]

You got excellent podcast skills pedro. Even without really knowing the full ins and out of Resident Evil you held my interest quite well. Hope this finds you doing a little better.