Does anyone ever feel like this???

[cameron]

Hello all,

I joined a few weeks ago when my anxiety came back out of the blue. I had gone over a year with absolutely no problems at all. When anxiety first hit it was horrible. I was sick for months. I couldn't go to work. I lost so much weight. I went from being this super fun easy going guy to being this fragile timid mouse. After a lot of help I was able to beat my anxiety problem. Recently and completely out of the blue my symptoms returned. But this time they had changed completely. I feel sometimes like anxiety is an alive entity. Always changing and trying to disguises itself behind something else. This time around my anxiety has turned into this constant fear that I am going crazy. Is that even possible? I have always been the most rational kind of person. but lately I have had all kind of strange thoughts. things I would never think of. Does anyone with anxiety ever have really bizarre thoughts go through their head. As well lately when I am really tired I begin to almost day dream as soon as I am falling asleep. It is like being awake and asleep at the same time. It is very disturbing to me and I feel like I am losing control of reality. I just need to know if this is a common symptom of anxiety. Because it sure sucks big time. Lately I have been so worried that I am becoming schizophrenic. I know that I am not, but it is such a worry of mine. It only hits me at home when I have time to think about it. It is this overwhelming feeling that I will lose my mind. Sorry to ramble on, and if anyone has actually taken the time to read this I apologize for sounding so weird. I just want my old life back. When I didn't have a care in the world. I would be so extremely grateful if someone were to tell me that they have had a similar experience with anxiety. The good thing is that I got through this thing once so I am sure that with time I will get through it again. I just feel so alone sometimes. Which is strange because I have so many amazing people in my life. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this. If anyone has had a similar experience with anxiety I would be very interested in hearing your story. I just need to know that as crazy as these feelings are, that they are normal anxiety symptoms. I just want so badly to be normal again and enjoy life. Wishing all who read this a speedy recovery from their anxiety problems.

[RustyIce]

Yeah definately been there mate, the rushing thoughts that your losing your mind, then you try and rationolise the thoughts but they continue, thinking your going completely insane is normal with people having anxiety, its not so much that your going insane, its because your having so many thoughts rushing throug your head that your are really confusing yourself, so of course this is going to make you feel like your going insane, somedays i hve them otherdays i dont, somethimes they last all week, othertimes a few minutes, regardless of what i think and try when rationalising it, its just doesnt work, the best advice i can give is just going on the computer, or watching a film on the computer, because concentration on the computer makes mine fade, then the thoughts become irrelevant eventually, i then look back on what i was thinking and see that they were just poison thoughts, Its hard for me to tell you to ignore them and 'try not to think about it' but as you know thats very difficult because it comes sometimes when you have nothing to worry about.

So just realise, accept, and embrace this feeling thats anxiety thats trying to manifest itself into just another symptom, i feel like when on symptom goes its replaced by another, this has been ongoing, i just go on the laptop and take my mind off it, and by the time im ready for bed early in the morning, the symptoms have faded massively.

[northstar]

hi cameron, sorry to see you having trouble again :(

it might help you to hear that it's not unusal with anxiety to have a fear of becoming schizophrenic, in fact several people on this forum have spoken of it. i never thought i was becoming schizophrenic but i did at times feel like i was actually going to loose my mind and my rational self would totally disappear, it was terrible.

it can be very difficult to get rid of the irrational thoughts by ourselves, i went to see a psychotherapist about it and it helped enormously. cognitive behaviour therapy is also higly recommended for this kind of problem. you may like to consider going to speak to someone about this and getting some help? it's worth considering.

has life been stressful for you lately? or have you been eating/sleeping properly?

[02Batmobile]

Hey! I've been there too my friend. Trust me, we all fear for our sanity and when that happens we start thinking and coming up with worst case scenarios like, "Maybe I'm schizophrenic." Instead of telling you my experience, I'd like to write out a paragraph in my workbook that has calmed my fears about schizophrenia:

"Many people believe that the physical symptoms of fear or panic mean they are going crazy. They are most likely referring to the severe mental disorder known as schizophrenia. A brief description of schizophrenia reveals how unlikely this minstaken belief is. Schizophrenia is a major disorder characterized by severe smptoms such as disjointed thoughts and speech (e.g., rapid shifting from one topic to the next), sometimes extending to speech that does not make any sense; delusions or strange beliefs; and hallucinations. A person's believing that he or she receives messages from outer space is an example of a delusion. Hearing conversations when no one is around is an example of an hallucination.

Schizophrenia generally begins very gradually, not suddenly as does a panic attack. Also, because schizophrenia runs in families and has a strong genetic base, only a certain proportion of the population can become schizohprenic; in other people no amount of stress will cause the disorder. A third important point is that people who become schizpohrenic exhibit some mild symptoms for most of their lives (such as unusual thoughts or little concern about personal hygiene). If these ongoing symptoms have not been noticed, then the chances are that the person will not become schizophrenic, especially if the person is over 25 years of age, because schizophrenia generally first appears in the late teen to early twenties. Finally if a person has been through interviews with a psychologist or psychiatrist, the doctor would certainly hae diagnosted schizophrenia if that were the case already."

Again, rather than discuss my experience, (which will be similar to yours and others) I would like to calm your fears. Whenever you have this thought - change the thought. Realize it is a common "symptom" and it's a concern because you have anxiety. It is so common that the writers of the workbook took time to address the issue in their program! You have to change your way of thinking and I know it won't be easy. I know this. I hate it when people tell me, "Jus' stop thinking!" because they don't understand. It will take time. Jus' like Lucinda Bassett said, "It took your whole life to learn these negative-thinking habits, it will take some time to re-learn positive-thinking habits. Hang in there! Write me an e-mail if I can further assist you! [email protected]

[Punk Rock Steve]

Don't worry Cameron....at some point or another a lot of us feel like we're losing it. Speaking for myself only, anxiety/panic disorder IS a living thing to me that constantly morphs and changes what areas it's going to attack next. I have had a REAL bad spell since August and this week I have been feeling crappy EVERY morning, feeling like I'm not going to make it through the day....like I'm gonna croak any minute, or have a nervous breakdown. It sucks! But it seems I somehow always do make it through the day. Seeing a therapist has been a big help for me. A lot of it comes down to acceptance, though you do have to make sure you're getting enough good sleep and are nutritionally balanced, two things that I don't always manage to do right. I'm getting hit with a bunch of symptoms today. Hang in there, you're not alone :)

[Nictro]

Hey Cameron I also have these racing thoughts when I'm trying to fall asleep and I was scared that is was schizophrenia. Just remember that schizophrenia is a rare and if you don't have a family history with it you probably don't have it. I know that rationalizing doesn't help that much and can sometimes make it worse. Just hang in there and learn to acknowledge and accept the thoughts and this is a normal thing with anxiety. If I get over one symptom then I get another it's just a horrible cycle and you're not alone.