Crisis of Confidence

[samv315]

Hi All,

I was diagnosed with GAD about 10 years ago. I've spent most of that time essentially in remission, speaking with my therapist only every 4 to 6 weeks. About 8 months ago, some new issues brought me out of remission. I think I've been handling the anxiety symptoms much better than I used to. What continues to plague me is what my therapist and I call a "crisis of confidence": I'll start to feel better, then something'll trigger my symptoms, and I'll ask myself, "Why am I still feeling this way after all this time? What's wrong with me? Am I ever going to get better?" This, naturally, makes me feel quite depressed. Is anyone else experiencing or has anyone else experienced a similar crisis of confidence? I look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers,
Sam

[Ponder]

I am srry this has happened to you Sam. This forum is not as active as other places so please don't take the lack of response personally. I am sad to say that sometimes there is indeed lack of greeting new people. I don't mean to make excuses, but for many of us, we can get quite self absorbed in our own happenings that we tend to forget about newcomers or in many cases; others point blank.

GAD is also one label attributed on my list of diagnoses. I am glad you have been able to see a therapist for as often and as long as you have. Full credit to you. I also see been seeing one regularly for a long time now. That's two things we have in common now. :)

Crisis Confidence hey ... that's a new term for me. I could probably use the distraction. I might read into that a little more later on Sam.

Your term is actually a very good one for me. I'm going through an extremely hard time right now ... but I'm reading you and appreciate you reaching out in PM as you have. A few weeks ago I was making an attempt to say hello to new comers. I am srry if it was then I missed you.

Depending on our experiences and the time we have suffered ... that is to say long term periods of trauma, sadness and so on - can imprint deep despair that's often medically termed as clinical/major depressive disorder. I've been pegged with that one too. BUT - well ... learning to live with covers a wide variety of techniques. Let me think about this some more and how it's impacted me in relation to confidence issues, and also how I am able to navigate such feelings of despair where I also have a history of coming out the other side and making the most of what I can find.

The only thing is that I am not big on the practice of Happiness as per sey ... not preach positivity ... Mine expertise is more about finding peace when it matters for individuals that feel like there is no hope nor purpose. That there is more my journey.

Welcome to the forum Sam. Glad to meet you.

Please keep posting.

Thx again for the PM.
~ Dave.

[Dahila]

Hi Sam welcome to forum, Yes I also have it and few others, We all struggling every day . I have a problem to trust myself and see how talented I am , Low self esteem is awful , add social anxiety and you have full cup. I find meditation the best tool for that, I am also opposite of Mr. Dave on small dose of meds, I would try no invasive practice first,
Happiness, I rather be stable, not to down, not to high , just level and calm. :)

[Ponder]

Just to clarify for others who don't know me so well. My connection with Inherent traits, the good and the bad as too ongoing learned behaviors + exposure ... is how I intensely feel. I believe this experiential state of being is referred to as living. There is a flat line I experience on long standing mood altering medications that negatively affects my personality. Possibly because many of my well being traits become suppressed in the process of pacifying those less helpful.

During many sessions my therapist and I talked about low self esteem, we also talked about personality. Not all of us are the same. Learning to identify my traits and what it means to accept them helps the extremes, overly passive, or flat lining periods I go through and helps me reach a state - that is more natural for 'my' being.

Equilibrium, I don't see as a flat line. This concept of equilibrium as defined by the medical industry imo opinion completely missed the mark when it comes to states of healing; especially in mental health. The acceptance that come trough my own efforts and learning of my traits - who I be - is what helps me find peace, where I typically find my 'desire' (that meds suppress in me) and thus become more competent in seeking out to do the things I enjoy. Confidence takes place. This is how I naturally get back up on my feet despite my predispositions.

More on personality:

Each of us encapsulates a wide variety of different traits. Some people have more traits than others. Some of these traits are opposites and some are very similar. Personality as I understand it can be affected by our experiences. The personality that we are born with is affected by all that came before it. "a pregnant women's mental state can shape her offspring's psyche." Whilst that snippet of info refers mostly to one incident that came before that child ... Eckhart Tolle often talks about residual pain with respect to the culmination of negative historical events that adds to a 'person's' body - AKA Pain Body (https://www.google.com.au/search?client=psy-ab&hl=en-AU&rlz=1C1AVFC_enAU739AU740&ei=u3VGW7XZDYb98QWMnamgCA&q=eckhart+tolle+what+is+pain+body&oq=eckhart+tolle+what+is+pain+body&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21775.24267.0.24455.11.9.0.0.0.0.302.772.2-2j1.3.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..8.0.0....0.oZBciN6vMfU).

The definition as summed up in that link (top page of google) hit's home for me as I do all within my power to endure periods of low self esteem. This is in fact helping a period I am currently going through. That said ... since you PMed me and made me aware of this topic ... I am feeling more competent about the things I must do in order to move on.

I hope some of what I have said makes a little sense and in some small way assist making this issue of confidence less of a crisis. :)

I know it has for me.

TY.

[samv315]

Thanks for the replies, guys. I mentioned to Dahila that I think I'm going to try a busier forum (I've heard 7 Cups is good). Also, I met with my therapist this morning, and he said that my 8-month relapse is actually probably a series of shorter relapses triggered by different events: a hurricane, holidays with the family, a boring job, and most recently a stressful new job. At the end of the day, I feel like hopelessness/a lack of confidence is something each and every one of us deals with. So at least we can take solace in that we're not alone.

[Ponder]

The take home messages we get from our therapists can take on new meanings over time. Solace is good with all things considered. Glad your doing OK. The next question I ask myself when I realise I am not alone, is ... where to from here? Home need not always be grounded in one spot. You can come and go or frequent several forums. I find this forum the BEST when it comes to letting people express.

[Dahila]

Yes I am like mr. Ponder, I keep staying here, sometimes I do not post for months, but the quiet of this place suits me ........I hope you are going to be ok Sam, if you are not get back to us :) we talk we listen