Missing out

[ZZZzzzZZZ]

Hi there, I'm female 25 yrs old. I'm not sure if I even have an "anxiety disorder" but I've always felt "out of place". I always think I if I had the confidence in myself and the "personality" I could do really good for myself. I've always been shy, not real shy, speech class in 11 grade was horrible, but I got thru it. I've always wondered how people can get up in front of a group and talk, I figured wow they are "special", but now I'm starting to think there is something wrong with myself. Like right now, I'm easier at expressing myself on paper, than if I was face 2 face with someone right now. I remember in school I liked working alone rather than, "group" projects. Actually, I'm less comfortable one on one lately, because if there is a third person there, I don't have to do all the talking and the focus isn't on me. I hate eye contact, I cannot hold eye contact, my sister always makes fun of me because of it. She asks why do I always look away when people talk to me, I get embarrassed for some reason and nervous and sometimes I panic, I can feel the "heat" sometimes my face gets really red, but most the time I'm "ok", but not as comfortable as I can be. I've been at a job a hate for 7 in a half years, right out of highschool. Sometimes I have a hard time saying "good morning" to people....it's like I want to, but it doesn't feel natural to me, it feels forced. I don't drive, I have a license, and I'm at a point in my life where I NEED to drive and I don't know how I'm going to handle that. I know that if I go out and actually do it for awhile, I should be fine, it's just that first step. I think a lot of it stems from me "not wanting to grow up"..at 25 I feel I'm old, and I should of had a more fun life and accomplished a lot more. I never had a boyfriend, I don't have any friends really. Maybe I'm depressed? I have a hard time accepting myself...I'm overweight and unhappy with my appearance.....but I do believe somewhere deep inside of me there is a beautiful girl waiting to come out and take on the world! Some anxiety issues I have are going places alone, walking in late to places, or having to deal with one on one exchanges. I hate talking on the phone. I remember when I first started my job and had to call in sick, I was so nervous, breathing heavy, my voice was shaky. The first few times It was like that, now it's ok when I have to call in. But sometimes just ordering a pizza makes me nervous. However, I don't have severe symptoms. I can still function, but I feel like I'm missing out on things and oppurtunities. Do you think I have a mild case? Can it be helped?

[shoe]

ZZZzzzZZZ (intersting name! :P),

welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have some typical social anxiety symptoms, as well as some self esteem problems... I couldn't tell you what you have for certain, but I can tell you I've experienced alot of what you talk about (I'm social phobic, and also have low self esteem). I've even experienced the driving worries - I avoided getting a license for the longest time because I was afraid I'd be totally wreckless on the road! Luckily I did get a license - and boy oh boy does that ever make a difference once you get that freedom hehe. :woot:

I'd talk to a therapist zzzzzzz if you can, or at least take a look in the bookstore and read about anxiety disorders and depression :)

[brickyard_red]

Welcome ZZZzzzZZZ, I'm glad you're here. I can relate to everything you talked about! Really. That is exactly how I feel when talking to people. I hate it. I can sometimes make myself keep the eye contact, but like you I can feel the heat rising and my face turns red and then I have no idea what to say. You're definately not alone on this! I'm sure there are many more people here on the forum that feel the same way also.

I've been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder with Panic and Agoraphobic tendenacies. I think you should go and talk to a dr. or therepist. They really help.

I hope to see more of you in the future, and again, I'm glad you're here.

Cath :)