irrational fears/"what ifs"

[brittypixi]

so since theres been alot of posts and such about irrational fears and what ifs i thought it might be helpful if people shared some irrational fears they have and some what ifs maybe, and if they have worked through them what helped them so that everyone could read this post & get some reassurance that anxiety will do that to you and your not alone!

[irrational]

I've run the gamut from health issues to the well being of loved ones to now being irrationally afraid of going to prison (mind you, I've never done anything wrong more serious than a speeding ticket in my life).

Overactive imagination I guess.

[raychie]

Sometimes I think I fear most things in life.

I have had the fear of going to jail, hurting someone or myself although I would NEVER do anything like that, its a fear I could..

I fear being away from my house, my comfort is my bedroom and If im to far away going to visit anyone etc I cant wait to get home.

I'm afraid to go out to places I've never been before for a social event.

I fear embarrassing myself in front of stranger and even people I know, wondering what it would be like if I threw up right now and everyone would be looking at me..

As you can see I'm strange but these are the things that run through my mind.

My biggest fear is I'll waste my life being like this, hence why Im here..

[Vicki]

But I think it's important to remember that fear of various things in life is normal, even if you don't suffer from an irrational fear or anxiety!

[used2bdavis]

I have a major fear of myself, my dh or one of my children getting cancer or some other life threatening disease. I think about it all the time. It has thrown me into full blown attacks on more than one occasion.
I have learned to talk myself down from this. I tend to try and distract myself as well. I try to tell myself that even if something like this does happen I need to enjoy them now and embrace the time we have together--rather than worry about it and make myself sick over it.

I also have a fear of going to places or social events where I do not know everyone, or I know that there will be skinny people there (I am slightly overweight but not obese). I will have major anxiety over this. I often tell my husband and he keeps me grounded. He will tell me how great I look in whatever I am wearing, he will do everything he can to make sure I am relaxed leading up to the event.

With the current economic situation I have a fear of losing my job. Almost every time my phone rings I feel like it is my boss and he is going to give me the bad news. It is silly though because my boss has told me time and time again that I am safe.

I have many many more fears, some rational, some not. However with medication and a very good support system at home I am starting to manage these fears and anxieties.

[proxi]

http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/about4266.html

[Bizarre]

I use to be a graffiti artist (now im playing it safe on canvas) and i was never caught once for all the stupid things i did as a kid (break and enters). This has me petrified that one day ill go to prison even though I know I wont. I also fear that ill go totally insane and hurt somebody one day or be locked away in a mental institution forever. these are all irrational thoughts I know but its hard to accept them as that. This shit freaks me out!!!

[Obelysk]

Damn I thought I was going insane because of having this "what if" thoughts that have no reasoning behind them but I guess not. Recently I have been having a fear of turning gay. LOL I am not sure why but it scares the hell out of me, sometimes when I look at another guy thoughts run right through my mind and I get anxious. Now I have never found another guy remotely attractive but I am afraid that one day I might. :roll: this shit is pissing me off.

[Bizarre]

well youre not alone obelysk I have a brother that is gay I mean really really gay and I often think shit what if I all of a sudden I realise that Im gay like my brother, I freak out like what if its genetic. In saying this I just want to state that I am the straightest dude out there I love women and Im a very sexual person but its this what if shit that imagines the worst thing possible and then turns it on you.

[Bizarre]

well youre not alone obelysk I have a brother that is gay I mean really really gay and I often think shit what if I all of a sudden I realise that Im gay like my brother, I freak out like what if its genetic. In saying this I just want to state that I am the straightest dude out there I love women and Im a very sexual person but its this what if shit that imagines the worst thing possible and then turns it on you.

[Bizarre]

sorry I posted twice buy mistake

[Obelysk]

well youre not alone obelysk I have a brother that is gay I mean really really gay and I often think shit what if I all of a sudden I realise that Im gay like my brother, I freak out like what if its genetic. In saying this I just want to state that I am the straightest dude out there I love women and Im a very sexual person but its this what if shit that imagines the worst thing possible and then turns it on you.

Thanks man I feel so much better that I a not going crazy. It really scares the hell out of me sometimes and I find it hard to tell myself that negative thoughts are part of anxiety. :cry:

[Bizarre]

Yeah man negative thought are one of the main symptoms of anxiety sufferers. when you get these thoughts challenge them and think hang on is there any proof at all that these thoughts will occur? if there is evidence to prove these thoughts correct then try to forget about them which I know is very hard. Im struggling to man, good luck though maybe start some therapy?

[LostInStallis]

I have irrational fears about women becoming pregnant... even if every precaution is taken, it is to the point where I won't even engage in any sort of sexual relationship because of the effect they have on my mind and body. I'm new - see my topic for the details. It's great to know that people understand what it's like to go thru something like this.

[ohokay]

The way the two of you are treating homosexuality really makes me sick. Be greatful you're straight. It comes off VERY offensive that you two are so "afraid" of becoming gay. :roll:

[Obelysk]

The way the two of you are treating homosexuality really makes me sick. Be greatful you're straight. It comes off VERY offensive that you two are so "afraid" of becoming gay. :roll:

Well nothing against them, I know a couple of them, I was molested as a child by my step father and I told myself I never would become like him. The fears themselves are irrational, anxiety tortures your mind and we so happen to be afraid of this....

[Bizarre]

is response to ohokay seriously did you not read the title irrational fears!
and dont judge us like were ignorant intolerant people u didnt you hear me say tha my brother was GAY? I still love him the same. I dont fear gay culture its just that im straight as and having a thought you were gay is a bit scary because u know not. thats all so chill out

[danstelter]

One irrational fear that I have had in the past has been a fear of "saying the wrong thing" on a date, despite the fact that most of my dates went well.

How did I get over this and other irrational fears? All I did was analyze in my mind the real evidence I had, such as the dates going well. Then I realized that my fear of saying the wrong thing was not useful, and therefore I did my best to replace that useless thought with a useful one. I also continually placed myself in the situation where I had irrational fears, and instead used more useful thoughts like "Hey, this is fun," and that really helped to reduce the anxiety.

The key to conquering any irrational fear is changing your thinking by consistently engaging in the situation and interpreting it in a new, anxiety-reducing way.

[ohokay]

The way the two of you are treating homosexuality really makes me sick. Be greatful you're straight. It comes off VERY offensive that you two are so "afraid" of becoming gay. :roll:

Well nothing against them, I know a couple of them, I was molested as a child by my step father and I told myself I never would become like him. The fears themselves are irrational, anxiety tortures your mind and we so happen to be afraid of this....

That means that he is a pedophile, not a homosexual.


is response to ohokay seriously did you not read the title irrational fears!
and dont judge us like were ignorant intolerant people u didnt you hear me say tha my brother was GAY? I still love him the same. I dont fear gay culture its just that im straight as and having a thought you were gay is a bit scary because u know not. thats all so chill out

I suffer from anxiety..I know what irrational fears are. I have many of them. Being afraid of becoming gay though? Come on..That's like a white person saying that they're afraid of becoming black and that THEY'RE NOT RACIST THEY JUST AFRAID.

When you put it in those terms, it sounds alot nastier doesn't it? Well, a white person isn't going to turn black, and a heterosexual person isn't going to turn gay.

[docajr]

I know a lot about the "side effects" of what ifs and "If only" thinking. For nearly 3 years I was held back by constantly rehasing all the mistakes I had made in the past and how life could have and should have been different.

Many relatives and friends encouraged me to "move" on with my life; and several suggested clinical therapy and/or medication as the answer. Not that there isn't a place for both, but I knew in my case the answer wouldn't come from the outside in, but from the inside out.

Looking back close to 15 anxiety free years later I am glad I did. I feel for many people paralyzed or held back from meeting life's challenges due to anxiety the answer isn't in medication or traditional psycho-therapy; and too often we in the medical field intervene too much instead of allowing people to mentally or physically work through something.

There are cases of chemical issues that require medical attention, but I find that in many instances the problems aren't chemical but THOUGHT related. The things we choose to focus our thinking on are guaranteed to elicit some sort of emotional response. That is the way our brains and bodies are wired. I.e. If you focus on or think about someone who betrayed you it would BE NORMAL to anticipate ANGER as the brains response. Or if you meditate on the death of a loved one I would expect it would make you sad.

I tackle this theme as well as the physical and spiritual root causes of anxiety and fear in my book Shake Off The Snake.

[dave64]

Since March of 2008 all I seem to do is "what if" thinking. For 43 years of my life I never even thought about my health and as I went into my 44th year all I seem to think about is health.

Sometimes I can't even sit down and read a book because my "what if" thinking tells me.....What if you fall over dead while reading?

[IzzyB]

I have so many irrational fears:

1. fear of getting pregnant because I can't imagine my father seeing me...or my mother seeing me breast feed!!

2. fear of getting worse symptoms after having a baby

3. fear of hurting myself (EVEN THOUGH I WOULD NEVER!)

4. fear of dying (i'm 32 and healthy) and never seeing my family again
seperation anxiety, i guess

Thanks

[broadwaymaven]

Irrational fears of so funny if you think about it. While they are taking over my life, they feel so real and terrifying. But when you step away a little, I always feel so silly about having them. I tell my husband about them so it helps me realize how silly they are once I say them out loud. I think some of the fears (if not all of them) are about loosing control. Some of the fears are from experience (watching someone get sick and/or die and worrying that it will happen to you too) and some are just out there (I have a fear of being absent minded while waiting for the metro train while reading a book. I worry I won't be paying attention and walk in front of the oncoming train. I would NEVER do this but I still get these thoughts). Luckily, I've started to be able to recognize the fears before they get too out of control. I try and laugh at myself or with myself to try and make myself realize the irrationality of it all. It gets easier and easier. It is also so helpful to hear that other people have them. Even my husband, who is the most calm man I've ever met, has the same random thoughts. He does not dwell on them. I have tried to take a step in his shoes and let it go. I think that's my mantra "Just let it go."

BTW. The fear of being gay is not the same as fearing turning black or white. Homosexuality and Heterosexuality have so many shades of gray in between. Nevertheless, if you think about the fear, it is probably a lot less about being gay and more about having to experience all the hardships that other people who come out have to feel. When my father came out, all I could think about was that he had to lie to everyone for most of his life. When he finally came out he had to deal with some many forms of sexual harassment that most straight men would never have to fear. I think the fact that the fear of being gay may not be the focus. But then again, it isn't me with the fear. This is just my thoughts on it. Regardless, these boards are supposed to be non judgmental. However irrational a fear is it is a real fear and should be respected as such.

[FunPie]

One irrational fear that I have had in the past has been a fear of "saying the wrong thing" on a date, despite the fact that most of my dates went well.

Don't feel to bad. That is you and like every other guy in America.