Go Away Christmas!

[gypsylee]

I just went to the shops and it was so busy I felt like crying (my anxiety is very much social).

Luckily I don’t have to go to any big gatherings this year but still, I haven’t bought a single present and just want to hibernate in my room. I feel like everything is so out of control :(

Who else is struggling with the so-called festive season?

[Ponder]

For starters I call it Xmas for obvious reasons. I generally can't get out of family gatherings. I have to it up with Baby Boomers going on about jobs, money, over sea vacations and where the next inheritance is comming from. Of course that's just my experience so no offense to our resident baby boomers in here.

Yep ... I hear ya Gypsy. Then there is the traffic of all kinds. Alas ... it's a good time to practice being Zen. I remember the calmer I seemed last year the more it seemed to piss off a few at the gathering. I was being passive and they became aggresive. Go figure.

[gypsylee]

I’ve been reading articles on this site https://markmanson.net/ and there is a lot about consumer culture (which runs completely rampant over Xmas). I’m contemplating buying this guy’s book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#$&” because I’m enjoying the articles.

I haven’t read all of this article but it’s good. The sad thing is, my uni degree is in Marketing. I think I’ve redeemed myself though by never getting anywhere with it ;)

https://markmanson.net/insecurity

“Through Freud, Bernays understood something nobody else in business ever understood before him: that if you can tap into people’s insecurities — if you can needle at their deepest feelings of inadequacy — then they will buy just about any damn thing you tell them to.”


Ha! I just had a look at another article and it starts with..

“Did you know more people commit suicide during Christmas season than any other time of year? I know, what a cheery way to start an article during the holiday season. But seriously, you think that’s a coincidence?”

https://markmanson.net/6-books

[martin05]

Yeah, it's manic this time of year.

Thankfully I've only had to go to the mall once. That was to pick my nephew out a board game.

Luckily I come from a small family. We exchange a few gifts, have a meal and watch a movie. Pretty non-eventful. Imagine being part of a family that believes xmas has to be "perfect". Or being in a family where you have to buy gifts and cook dinner for like 30 people. Stress overload!

[martin05]

Ponder, how many people do you usually get together with on xmas?

[Dahila]

For three years on the road I refuse to do anything for xmas, I just give gifts to my granchild , and maybe my products to my daughter and her bf
f*** xmas I work on my products and enjoy the time downstairs in my workshop. No social anxiety anymore

[PeterPepper]

I don't think i'd ever get so low that i'd commit suicide, but i can understand why people would do t. I do feel sometimes, if i were to die, nobody would notice.
Wherever you look ..... Tv; newspapers; even computer forums at this time of year, everyone seems to be saying how much they're looking forward to Christmas. The things they have planned, and the places they're going. It seems everyone is talking about all the presents they've bought, and the gifts they're expecting. You see everyone enjoying themselves and you ask yourself....... why can't i do that ?
Christmas, and especially New Year, as the bells are ringing, must be the worst time of the year when you're alone, and find it so difficult to meet others and make friends

[Ponder]

Ponder, how many people do you usually get together with on xmas?

Less than 30. :)

[ataylor2889]

I used to love Christmas now its just like sad to me because I don't feel happy anymore.

[martin05]

Less than 30. :)

Will your boy be visiting for christmas?

[Ponder]

Yep :) Despite the short comings listed here, we will all be making an effort. My son is getting married in early January. I don't like those gatherings either, but thankfully his wedding is only a small gathering. My eldest daughter gets married some time later in the year, however her wedding is going to be on a larger scale with relatives attending whom in all honesty I care less to know. (Nothing personal of course) My daughter is having a traditional wedding where I am expected to "give her away" as if she is 'mine' to give ... rolls eyes. Complete garbage really ... but I'll just smile and play along as best I can. I like my son in law. As for all those who only know me from gossip ... I'll just smile and nod and leave them with their snippets of info offering not much else. Is pretty much what I will be doing come the Xmas lunch.

But yea ... it nice to catch up with immediate family and also allow others the opportunity to reach out if they so wish. I grant half the time the issue is more us. Focus on what works rather than what does not ... hey? You seem like to always have a positive outlook on such things martin. Is a good way to be for as long as one has the strength. No one is perfect of course.

[martin05]

Who does the xmas lunch in your house, the missus?

If so, make sure you get a plate of veggies, man. 2018 sounds like a busy one. Have you seen much of your future daughter in law's family?

Yeah, most of the time I end up dreading the holidays, but come the night of the 25th I find it's actually been alright. Like you say, most people make an effort and usually things go smoothly enough. You have a few laughs along the way.

Gyps, are you seeing your daughter over the coming weeks?

[gypsylee]

She’s probably coming the last couple of weeks of Jan (our school hols go from mid-December to start of Feb).

[jon mike]

I used to hate Xmas because of my anxiety, now I just don't like It because it drags on a bit.
The good thing about Xmas for me is that I know by 2nd Jan its all as far away as it can be until it comes back.
Plus I dont like all the religious side of it, I think if I walked into a church I'd probably combust there and then




I just went to the shops and it
was so busy I felt like crying (my anxiety is very much social).

Luckily I don’t have to go to any big gatherings this year but still, I haven’t bought a single present and just want to hibernate in my room. I feel like everything is so out of control :(

Who else is struggling with the so-called festive season?

[gypsylee]

I spent a few Christmases as a kid in the UK and I loved it. Not just because I was a kid but because the “vibe” is different in the Northern Hemisphere. In Australia it’s hot and dry, and you see stuff with reindeers in snow etc and it just seems wrong. So it’s just this crazy time of year where everyone is at the shops, spending money they don’t have, and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide.

[jon mike]

It was -8 last week here in UK (cries)




I spent a few Christmases as a kid in the UK and I loved it. Not just because I was a kid but because the “vibe” is different in the Northern Hemisphere. In Australia it’s hot and dry, and you see stuff with reindeers in snow etc and it just seems wrong. So it’s just this crazy time of year where everyone is at the shops, spending money they don’t have, and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide.

[martin05]

Not just because I was a kid but because the “vibe” is different in the Northern Hemisphere. In Australia it’s hot and dry, and you see stuff with reindeers in snow etc and it just seems wrong

Funny what conditioning does to you, isn't it? Obviously those of us in the northern hem. think the idea of a hot xmas is weird. I remember when I was young, every xmas day my dad would always say "how would you like to be one of those people in Australia, having Christmas on the beach?" He could never comprehend it.

[Anne1221]

Gypsy, I wondered about that...what it was like with all the Christmas activities going on in Australia. I live in the southern part of the US, Atlanta, but we recently had 7 inches of snow, so it made Christmas fun. I can look out my patio and see my neighbors lights blinking and they are really pretty.

[gypsylee]

It’s horrible for me. I’m very sensitive to weather and general “vibes” and I always feel so anxious this time of year. Today it’s been 35C (now a storm) and I feel so unsettled. The shops are just madness and I can’t wait til it’s over!

[Full909]

We make the extended family who don't have children travel to us. We had a gift debacle when I was 6 months pregnant with DS2 and flying on my own with DS1, and I decided then that we would never go away at Christmas.