The anxiety not to be accepted..

[colour]

Since I was able to think my father bullied my mother and me. He was an alcoholic and this drug made him to a kind of devil.
I always was afraid of him. I only lived in fear. :shock:
When I was 12 years old I went to another school.
There I was bullied by my class- mates for 7 years. :oops:
I think that happened because I was too unsure because of everything I had to go through in my childhood.
Later, when I went to evening school, I did different Jobs. There were two jobs I was bullied, too. :(
Since the bullying at school I have been lacking in self- confidence much more than before up to now. I´m too anxious that I wouldn´t be accepted of the people. And there are more or less people who don´t accept me really: because of my anxiety.
Besides I suffer from a very deep depression, that makes me feeling weak and unable. It´s hard to go through that.. :unsure:

[shoe]

:( thats really tough. I know I was bullied for a while in middle school, and dealt with some a*holes in jobs that *would* have bullied me if they got the chance. I mostly try to stand up for myself now but it doesn't always look too good when I'm having a panic attack at the same time :lol:

As far as acceptance goes, I too have issues with that. I want to be accepted, and at the same time I don't want to have to work at being accepted - I just wish more people would focus less about what 'faults' someone has and instead focus on their good points. I guess its not easy to do that when I keep to myself and don't participate in many conversations, but still.. I shouldn't have to worry about people prejudging me, yknow. But it happens all the time :cranky: hmpf

colour, you aren't bullied anymore, I hope? theres a website (http://bullyonline.org/) that supposedly offers some options on how to deal with it.. I haven't had a chance to look at the site myself yet though.

[colour]

Thank you very much! ;)
I can very good understand your issues concerning acceptance! :)
I wish you all the best (and that you can decide on your own, when you´ll have your panic attack.. :lol: )!