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jen326
11-17-2017, 07:09 PM
Hi All,

New to this group.

I don't know if this question will make sense to anyone but I've been really struggling lately with my thoughts and feelings...

Does anyone else ever get to a point where you don't know whether the thoughts or feelings you are having are genuine and rational or if you are just being too sensitive and paranoid? I usually know when I'm being overly sensitive but lately my head has been in such a jumble that I'm finding it really difficult to differentiate the two and it's making daily life a nightmare. So much so that I feel like I'm on the verge of breakdown. I just don't know how to deal with it and I don't feel like I can talk to any of those close to me because they just don't understand.

Any thoughts and/or suggestions?

supadan323
11-17-2017, 09:33 PM
Sounds like anxiety to me. When it first hit me, I could not control my negative thoughts and they eventually overwhelm me and I would break down. The thoughts were usually not "rational" thoughts. I can tell you it did not go away on its own, and I needed medication. The medication I am on now is helping a lot. I don't know how long you have been dealing with this, but I urge you to see your doctor. If you want to speak to a therapist to reach the root of your thoughts; then that's great, but medication will get you your life back; where you can start to heal. I am still new to anxiety myself and this forum really helps me feel better. Being able to vent and talk to like minded people is very therapeutic.

vaguekage
11-17-2017, 09:35 PM
I'm in the same boat with you. How I missed my life as a child, 1x years ago. My head then was clear, blank sometimes and peaceful. Now it's always filled with trains of thoughts and feelings. I feel restless, my head aches and insomnia has been my friend. Sometimes I can overcome by treating and talking to myself gently, reading self-help books but the methods work only for a short period of time. I even think I'm crazy and sick while other people are "normal", "mentally healthy". I start to distance myself, feel like I don't fit in the society... I want to know if there is a way out too.

gypsylee
11-17-2017, 10:45 PM
Supadan - The meds you’re on are Buspar, right?

Jen - When your “thoughts are all jumbled and it’s making your life a nightmare” it does sound like anxiety, indeed.

All the best,
Gypsy x

supadan323
11-20-2017, 07:59 PM
Gypsylee - Yes, Buspirone/Buspar. And it has helped me a lot, not cured, but I would say 80 percent improvement. I am still vulnerable to stressful events and bad news. Those give me some set backs, but still way better than I was without it. If you start that medication I am intrigued on how well it works for you. I felt it working on the first dose. After about 2 weeks; it started to really dial in, and the big side effects (which I actually enjoyed; because it let me know that the medication was kicking in) faded.

Anne1221
11-21-2017, 09:54 PM
Everyone has problems, they are just different. For me, anxiety is all about worry and fear. You can always talk to anyone close to you. They don't have to understand exactly. As long as they are capable of understanding phrases like "I don't feel right" or "I'm having a hard time", you can talk to them. They may tell you to talk to a professional, but talking to others is always helpful.

salvator here
11-29-2017, 11:01 AM
Buspar was helpful when I remembered to take it. I asked for it this year and I was told my symptoms are too severe for that med to notice a difference. I don't trust doctors really anyway. But whatever. I felt it did help. I don't have anybody I can talk to at all unless I go to AA and that usually triggers me and its not worth it, because I'm not at a stable stage in my recovery. That's why I returned to the forum, I need to at least be able to put my thoughts into words and get things off my chest and connect with people here in the forum.

Yeah, I cant handle bad news at all without becoming suicidal so I don't watch it. I limit it to 1 time a day if I'm not feeling anxiety ridden or (severely) depressed. I'm depressed all the time now though every waking moment. Only things helps me is music and games (sometimes).

That is good though if you do have people you can trust and confide in.

supadan323
12-04-2017, 08:30 PM
Salvator; what medication did your doctor recommend that was better than Buspirone for more extreme cases? Are you using it and is it working?

Ponder
12-04-2017, 10:54 PM
How do you handle your emotions?

Adopting practices that allow me to feel my emotions rather than suppress or inhibit them. Somthing that can be done either on or off meds.

salvator here
12-04-2017, 11:10 PM
I requested Buspar after a 2 week hospitalization in June. I was set up with a crackpot mental group upon release as I don't have the funds to see whom I want by choice. There really isn't much help for the indigent I'm afraid and nobody cares. The APRN told me that its not very effective for extreme anxiety and my symptoms were too severe. I remember it working well when I took it several years ago. I just kept forgetting to take it 2 times a day and just gave up eventually. I have trouble remembering to take pills and do better with rescue meds. I had to sign paperwork for new patients that state no narcotics to new patients; period! I did go 4 times and was first prescribed risperidone (which is what I was given while I was inpatient). While that medication will stabilize me from sever mania, its far too numbing to want to be on it with regularity. I did take it for about another week or so and she then switched me to Saphris which seemed to make me worse; although I didn't stay on it for very long and never went back to the dumb office. I did request rescue meds as I have debilitating anxiety and panic attacks and agoraphobia, so much and so badly that I rarely leave the house these day and tend to hide in my room and in bed far too much (and I they were aware of this, and still offer no solution), but there is something wrong now as during the 90's I was quite freely given Xanax and Valium with absolutely no problem. Is anybody else having this trouble?? I never abused my meds and usually had extra as I didn't take the entire prescription.

Sorry to just ramble there, but To answer your question, I not on anything now other than benadryl. Its helps somewhat for sleep I guess but I can't really use it during the day.

Thanks for your concern :)

salvator here
12-04-2017, 11:15 PM
I think if I were seeing a psychiatrist the situation would be different. But I simply can not afford to do so.

salvator here
12-06-2017, 07:01 PM
Thought about giving the crackpot office a call today but it seems not worth it as they were no help whatsoever. They don't care at all. Not that I am asking for "care", I just want some help....but NO :(

Can you believe they wanted to charge me a co-pay?!

Edited for personal reasons.

gypsylee
12-06-2017, 07:23 PM
Thought about giving the crackpot office a call today but it seems not worth it as they were no help whatsoever. They don't care at all. Not that I am asking for "care", I just want some help....but NO :(

Can you believe they wanted to charge me a co-pay?!

Edited for personal reasons.

That sucks.

IAmCamille
12-06-2017, 08:27 PM
I think if I were seeing a psychiatrist the situation would be different. But I simply can not afford to do so.

there are many other ways to seek help without paying much. online therapy.

gypsylee
12-06-2017, 08:29 PM
I just looked at the news and saw this..

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/dec/07/those-who-need-it-most-dont-get-psychiatric-care-its-a-mental-health-crisis

jon mike
12-10-2017, 03:15 PM
Hi. Try to remember that without the thought there can be no feeling. The best advice I can say to you is that you don't have to be inside the battle, you can step out and watch it, you can be an observer of your thoughts and feelings, after all they won't harm you so why not watch them as an observer? this is acceptance, it takes a bit of practice but it is certainly the way out






Hi All,

New to this group.

I don't know if this question will make sense to anyone but I've been really struggling lately with my thoughts and feelings...

Does anyone else ever get to a point where you don't know whether the thoughts or feelings you are having are genuine and rational or if you are just being too sensitive and paranoid? I usually know when I'm being overly sensitive but lately my head has been in such a jumble that I'm finding it really difficult to differentiate the two and it's making daily life a nightmare. So much so that I feel like I'm on the verge of breakdown. I just don't know how to deal with it and I don't feel like I can talk to any of those close to me because they just don't understand.

Any thoughts and/or suggestions?

Ponder
12-10-2017, 04:02 PM
OP - Yes I understand this drama quite well.

The short answer is:
Focus on what works rather than what does not.

The long answer takes a lot of work. In the beginning try not to focus on crisis itself. Take a step out of the ring. Find or do something you know helps you to keep your mind on your breath. Unload the brain. Time for a memory dump.

I'm off to rake the grass. Works for me. :)