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View Full Version : It aint easy, this life gig. It was never meant to be



Im-Suffering
10-19-2017, 08:50 AM
First of all let me salute you all. You are the true warriors, the brave, courageous, and I honor your path. It was never meant to be a cakewalk, you see, but a learning experience.

Some of you are not ready, willing, able to hear today, and to you I say be patient, your time will come. To all the rest I offer the following. We, most of us, experience GAD, not just the occasional anxiety or nervousness of say, a big test, or whatnot, but a daily struggle on many levels, emotionally and physiologically.

I say, then whatever point you may be in your journey, old or young, that no amount of medicine, supplements, self talk (CBT), or wishful thinking will bring you back into what we will call 'balance'. And especially, will not return you to your state 'pre' anxiety, where you felt at ease, so to speak, or as one would say, 'I feel like myself'. The truth is, 'myself' is evolving, you see, change is good, as that self grows.

Anxiety is an inner condition, a landscape of turmoil. But that landscape is psychological first, and colored, painted, by either experience, environment, parenting, and yes, somewhat DNA coding. You came into life to learn, stubborn or not, and learn you will, so some 'coding' was in place before you were even born. Your looks, your thoughts have been to an extent crafted by spirit and thrown into an environment conducive for needed lessons. How fast you learn can be alike to a vice grip, it will tighten and cause more confusion, suffering, meant to point out both the problem and solution.

Anxiety has its foundation in the spiritual world, where at some point one has lost his or her connection with feeling, rather the recognition of what it is like to feel, and above all, what it is like for others to feel. That connection with earth, your peers we will call empathy, compassion, to put yourself in anothers shoes, to expect in proportion to what you give. To receive in like to what you give, and to get, what you give. There is an anger underlying anxiety as oftentimes the expectations are that you cannot have what you want, even if you try and force them. Life is simply life, life is neutral, colored by a mass of people as an artist paints his emotions onto canvas.

Anxiety cannot be overcome by a set of instructions, in a book, or in one way or another written by another. Anxiety is personal to each of you, and although it would seem you have symptoms in common, the cause is your own and relevant to your stage of personal, psychological, and more importantly spiritual growth.

When the spirit is disconnected from the physical, because it is drowned out by the fantastic illusions of the material world, and when your thoughts become self centered above all.. When you lose the connection with your brothers and sisters - in a narcissistic sense - when you cannot feel, and validate your own feelings.. Then you have sacrificed the beauty in life, the world, the people and creatures, and I say sacrifice because you become shut out of anything and anyone lovely.. any love .. and as such any offered love would slip past unnoticed.

You have all had trauma in your past. You have all been brainwashed into a form of social engineering, a scheme, you have all been at the mercy of misguided and conflicted parents, you have all seen and heard scary things and become afraid of certain conditions. And to an extent of what we will call abuse, to the extent of this belief system you have, to the extent of this disconnection with empathy... This is the road ahead, this is the fear in the way, these are the hurdles toward a self that you cannot even imagine. If you suffer now, well, the old self is not what you want. This hard work is meant to craft and finely tune a new self, as it was said, you cannot put old wine in a new wine cloth (bag), as it would burst. You must be ready to accept the new wine.

Life is a spiritual journey, a means to an end, so to speak. The severed connections between the mind and spirit whatever they may be, are very personal, and individual to each of you. So there is not only one way. You must make your own way, you see, in this type of healing there would be no one against the other, no need for war or any crime of any sort. Through trauma, loss of love, abuse, abandonment, or simply ignorance, stupidity, you have all in one way or another turned a blind eye, and in the grand scheme, you see, you must open your eyes.

I am not suggesting you throw away your meds, be kind to yourself, suffering is never mandatory, you were not born evil or sinful, but what I am suggesting is you learn to feel again. Anxiety is only in your life because you shut down feeling, anxiety is a feeling. To some anxiety is their only way to feel. You must feel. Or the pot would explode. In some terms, anxiety is healthy, meant to lead you back to equilibrium. When spirit is disassociated, or closed off due to emotional pain, you receive no benefit from its still calmness, that speaks, everything is ok. You get lost in a world of turmoil, physically, trusting outer conditions rather than your own intuitive-ness. In essence you are cut off from yourself, you are not a whole person.

If you shut down feeling, enclose yourself in a defense capsule, you will be afraid. Do this long enough and you will begin to believe in the fear, to believe in the irrational thoughts, believe that your peers are inherently sinful, believe the world is a bad or unsafe place, believe in the sensitive nature of your body, that you could be thrust into disease or death at a moments notice, you will be ..... anxious. It is first, in the mind, ever before you had your first physical symptoms.

Love your brothers, at least put yourself in their shoes, be kind and dignified, graceful, light and expect good things in your life. Dont wish for the old days but wish for new ones, even better, and most of all, do unto others........ you must understand the golden rule.


Shout out to Ponder my old friend, my fondest regards to you.

gypsylee
10-19-2017, 02:03 PM
Welcome back Im-Suffering! I will read this soon.

Thanks, this is a great post :)

martin05
10-19-2017, 05:40 PM
Very good, thank you. Numerous parts of your post speak to me.

martin05
10-19-2017, 05:45 PM
P.s. Has anybody ever told you you look like this cat?

https://s3.amazonaws.com/photo.goodreads.com/photos/1323735865p8/394464.jpg

Ponder
10-19-2017, 09:25 PM
WOW ... I only just mentioned your name is a Vlog I did today. I often bring you up from time to time. I assure you it's in good light when I do. Mostly about you always teaching me or others something or other.

I'll be back for sure. I only just saw your name / this post and figured I would just quickly say how chuffed I felt to see your presence in here once again. No doubt the forum all the better for it. :)

Just linking the Vlog I spoke about and have to run.

Back later ... for sure.
Awesome Man ... highlight of me day see you once again. :)

Ponder
10-19-2017, 11:01 PM
Excellent write up on Anxiety. It's been a LONG time since I have read anything like that in here. Yep - I am using my Flute at the moment to help bring back some feeling into my life. :) I've been struggling with a lot of agendas based on desire woven into the array of concepts currently being talked about on Youtube and the like. I think our perceptions on feelings lead us astray when it comes to seeking positive experiences. So it is that my interactions are based mostly on resonance of the non verbal kind. Of course I have been using text and my vlogs to convey as best I can.

Yea ... it surely is a personal journey with our own take as to what was and what is and or what comes next. That said, being in the moment without all that said fear is where it's at for me. I've been in a good spot of late ImS ... although been through a LOT of hardships along the way. It is pretty much as you say. I'm still taking in crafting material from here and there, BUT creating my own version of what works for me. As for the continued sharing ... I'm just looking to make connections for the sake of growth in much the same way healing cells look to connect with others. Despite being on the mend spiritually I am not seeing as much reflected back. That is to say, 'at the moment' I do not subscribe to the fear I see as my own being projected back at me. Although I am well aware that when I am not so well that is very much the case. Another way to view this, is that when I am doing OK ... that the world still presents with a LOT of angst. It's just that when I am seeing more clearly and or have the space via re-syncing with that you've so clearly exposed in so much of what we have lost ... I am less reactive to compared to what I was before.

Alas ... making healthier and wiser choices have been allowing me more energy to sustain what it is that I must endure ... in order that I may learn and grow. Something like that. I still get lost ... but the essence of previous insights do not get lost.

Great to see you again.

Hope all is well. Keep posting if that is your will. :) hehe.

gypsylee
10-20-2017, 12:12 AM
P.s. Has anybody ever told you you look like this cat?

https://s3.amazonaws.com/photo.goodreads.com/photos/1323735865p8/394464.jpg

I can’t even..

Im-Suffering
10-23-2017, 09:52 AM
Part II anxiety as mistakes or errors

Mistakes. Thats a big part of what its about. We are all born into an environment with rules. Making all kinds of experiential mistakes leads to growth (learn the rules !). Along the way we are taught by others what to expect in our lives, and how to do things, how things work. Of course these often well meaning people, such as parents, teachers, are making all kinds of mistakes too. They are still on their journey. Until death, when no one needs to manipulate within the physical any longer, mistakes are continuous and frequent.

Some would call what you 'pick up' along the way (learn about life) as advice, beliefs, or facts about how things work. These facts about life, your life, are indeed optional. And once you are of age to think for yourself, thats exactly what you should do. Making a complete checklist of what you were taught, your facts, and how this may differ from either your experience or how you feel inside about them. You can trust your feelings, when you dont, you have mental tension between them and conflicting facts. You call this anxiety, a repression of the way you feel, until you start to feel sick, sweat, your heart races, you understand. It is triggered mentally, that is why no doctor can figure out whats wrong with you, or find anything, usually, as you all are familiar with.

There are no (real) walls other than the imaginary ones you built up around such facts, boundaries that keep you contained in an otherwise unlimited environment of probabilities. You can feel this, at certain times of your life that you 'break free', at times, from this confinement. These are times of great change and may seem a bit uncomfortable as you enter unfamiliar territories that conflict with what you were told is possible.

Back to mistakes. Life is not what you get right at first, but how you use free will to break free the confines of others beliefs, and venture out on your own, out of the usual, out of the walls of your own (and others) rigid beliefs, and make mistakes, over and over, and over again. Each mistake is a victory.

Ive got to run, and cannot finish this post, if anyone has something to add please do. Mistakes have much to do with anxiety in the terms ive just written about, think about it for yourself, related to your own lives, you are often your worst enemy and very hard on yourselves.

Ah yes, the sooner you (stop) avoid/run from/resist/try and prevent mistakes, the sooner you can move on to another mistake. If you are repeating the same mistakes, you must look at your beliefs that are creating that experience or thought and try your best to change them.

Have a nice day !