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View Full Version : can anyone relate/offer some reassurance?



brittypixi
11-17-2008, 02:57 PM
so, basically i've been dealing with anxiety since the beginning of september, and my anxiety manifested itself into doubts about my boyfriend. it's improving but my problem is that for like a week ill be so in love and happy and just like i was before but then i get a setback and for a couple days ill say things like "i don't love him, i don't want to be with him, i only love him as a friend" etc, ill come up with like 15 different reasons/doubts.

one thing that seems to make me feel better is when i think about us breaking up, now that sounds funny but what i mean is that when i think about taking a break or breaking up i know that i'de miss him terribly and i would just come right back to him. we have taken a break and broken up twice due to my crazy anxiety doubts and i always miss him so much and come right back to him usually within a couple hours.

another thing is that there is nothing WRONG with our relationship, he is supportive, hes sweet, he takes care of me, hes great, he even comes to therapy with me once a month! so, nothing has changed in our relationship except my anxiety, so it doesn't make sense that i would have any reason to fall out of love or feel any different. we were together for a year and 5 months before i even had doubts, we planned marriage, moving in, kids, etc! so basically my therapist tells me to focus on the facts:

1. a year and 5 months extremely happy, in love never wanting ANYTHING else.
2. when we break up/take a break i miss him terribly and always come back.
3. my parents, sister, and boyfriend who know me best always tell me that this is my anxiety and they KNOW i love him!

anyways, basically my anxiety confuses me so bad and i convince myself stupid things are true. if i didn't love him or wanna be with him i would have already left him its been three months! anywho so can anyone relate, offer advice or anything? i would really appreciate it! i hope everyone else is doing well too. :)

newnoise
11-18-2008, 12:53 AM
Oh gosh, I'm going through the same exact sort of thing.

My anxiety has just recently come back from a year or so long hiatus and it brought with it these same exact type of feelings/thoughts.

The only difference is, mine sort of hops around. One week it'll be the fear that I don't like music anymore, the next week it'll be that I don't like hanging with my friends anymore and the next week I'll fear that I might not have the same feelings toward a girl I like, etc, etc.

At first these feelings were devastating to me, I thought "why would I all of the sudden feel different about ________???" And I would keep dwelling and agonizing over them.

After having to live with this thing for about three or four months, I've just come to accept it as part of my anxiety and that the thoughts really mean nothing. Eventually, I have just started to ignore them and stick it through till they go away.

Although I can't really offer you any advice on how to quell these thoughts, I can at the very least, offer you the comfort that you're not alone in these feelings.

with much love and hope for a speedy end to this,
cam.