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xxfairybluxx
11-16-2008, 09:46 AM
Sorry about the length of this post. I just need an outlet for all of the crap going around inside my head. Im forever obsessing about my relationship with my boyfriend and it does my head in.

A couple of years ago I was with him and I suddenly got this horrible anxious feeling in my stomach. I don't know where it came from but it was like a 'get away from me' sorta feeling. I'd never felt it before and it came from nowhere. Then, I kept thinking it and what it meant, coming to all sorts of conclusions over time. One of the main thoughts I had was that I wasn't physically attracted to him. I was but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to explain how I felt and I literally was mulling over it all of the time when I was with him and when I was on my own. Hes the most caring and lovely bloke and we get on so well together but these thoughts were always going through my mind and I kept feeling that horrible feeling. About 5 months ago, my friend asked me how we were and I told her. I said I didn't think I fancied him and we were more like friends. I said some really nasty and hurtful things. The only reason I have for saying them is that after so long of having all of these obsessive thoughts and feelings of anxiety I began to blame him for causing them and it made me resentful in a way (that sounds so horrible :cry: ). I REALLY regret saying what I did so much now. I hate myself for being so heartless.
Anyway, my mum overheard the conversation and said I couldn't love him if id said that. I realised how much of a bitch id been and I really didn't mean it. But then I thought, what if Im really not in love with him? If I was in love with him how could I say something like that about him and why do I keep doubting our relationship?
After a couple of months of constantly turning it over in my mind I decided that we should have a break. If it was love then I shouldn't feel like this all of the time right. We broke up for about a week but met up as friends to talk one night. As soon as I saw him I realised how much I loved him and how stupid id been. I always loved him but anxiety made me doubt it all of the time :( .

I hate myself for everything ive put my boyfriend through over the last year. I regret it all so much! Breaking up has made our relationship stronger though. I know i love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him :). I just wish I could undo the past! Even though anxiety rules your head sometimes, dont ever let it rule your heart. x

Canary
11-16-2008, 10:20 AM
wow fairy... that is really rough.

some days i feel horrible about all i put my bf through. he helps me so much... but when i'm down i sometimes wonder if i'm putting him through too much, and if i'm too unhealthy for him. but then on my days when i don't have anxiety i feel better about it. but it's definitely true that anxiety can put a huge strain on a relationship :( i'm sorry for all you've been through.

Canary
11-16-2008, 10:21 AM
are you back with your boyfriend now?

xxfairybluxx
11-16-2008, 02:41 PM
Yeah, we're back together now. We only broke up for a week. But it might have been longer if I hadn't seen him that night and realised that all of my anxious thoughts were just thoughts and that I really did love him. Things are really great between us now :).
Breaking up was a good thing for us in the end. It really hurt but now my anxiety about us has gone because I know how much I love him :)

Canary
11-16-2008, 09:06 PM
oh that's a relief. your story gives me hope ^^

Vicki
11-17-2008, 04:27 AM
Your bf sounds like a definite keeper! I wouldn't let him go again any time soon :)