How much more can go wrong?

[tirediron]

I joined this group in 12-15. I was experiencing noise related anxiety, (mainly from 4 wheelers across the street), and my wife and I were planning to down size. I assumed that by April of 2016, it would all be behind us, we would be in the new home, and going on our way. The smaller home needed a fair amount of work, but I managed to get it in pretty good condition. We started to look again, when discovered just how small it really was. Found another house in a somewhat rural area close by, and we bought it. My mom passed away on 7-7-17. I had mentioned on another post that I felt like I was in prison having to take my dad back and forth to the hospital or nursing home so much. I miss so her badly....it's just now starting to sink in. We sold the small home, and have to be out by 8-18. We've been moving items to the new place, and yesterday.....I hear a 4 wheeler run down the road. Okay, we're a good 300+ feet off the road, so what? THEN I hear the thing in the woods behind the house. (we're on about 5 acres). I walk into the woods about 150 feet, and find a road of sort. My heart started to race, and I got weak kneed. I thought I was past all of this. So in the midst of moving, I've just now begun to grieve the loss of my mom, and now I'm not even sure I want to move there any more. It wasn't particularly loud, and only went by a couple of times, but the anticipation is what messes me up. I'll be constantly listening. I'm not taking anything for my anxiety right now, and have made an appointment with my PCP for tomorrow. I'm hoping he can refer me to a psychiatrist, or mental health doctor to pull me out of this. Just sharing. I've never been so down in my life and I have to continue moving all the stuff we moved hardly a year ago. My heart just isn't in it.

[gypsylee]

Hey tirediron :)

I live next to a freeway (complete with off-ramp) so I can sympathise! I even wrote about the trucks driving me crazy recently in my "I Feel Like Shit" thread in Depression. The residents here have contacted the roads authority about a sound barrier but they reckon the noise isn't enough to warrant one. So I wear earplugs when I sleep, otherwise the trucks wake me up (and they start at 4am!)

Good on you making an appointment to see the doc. You don't have to suffer with this on your own. I'm on 40mg Prozac, 10mg Mogadon and the occasional Zyprexa for sleep. But just the act of getting it out there and talking about it changes the brain.

All the best and let us know how you're doing..

Gypsy x

[josh0745]

I get the same response when I'm anticipating something I'm anxious about (with GAD this could be the flavor of the week but tends to gravitate towards work deadlines, presentations, project status, sexual performance, etc.)

I think I need to see my therapist again, I've been out of going to therapy for at least 6 months now. I've just been writing a lot, trying to share my feelings with anyone who will listen, trying to rationalize things in my head and distract myself. How I was brought up, my family never really talked about feelings, especially the difficult ones so as an adult I am having a really hard time processing a lot of new feelings vs just bottling everything inside.

Any updates on your situation?

Josh

[gypsylee]

I get the same response when I'm anticipating something I'm anxious about (with GAD this could be the flavor of the week but tends to gravitate towards work deadlines, presentations, project status, sexual performance, etc.)

I think I need to see my therapist again, I've been out of going to therapy for at least 6 months now. I've just been writing a lot, trying to share my feelings with anyone who will listen, trying to rationalize things in my head and distract myself. How I was brought up, my family never really talked about feelings, especially the difficult ones so as an adult I am having a really hard time processing a lot of new feelings vs just bottling everything inside.

Any updates on your situation?

Josh

Hey Josh :)

If you get along with your therapist, just talking can be a huge help. Writing is great but talking in person is invaluable (assuming you feel comfortable with the person). I've been seeing the same psychiatrist for over 20 years and it's like visiting an old friend (with a prescription pad haha). Of course, you don't have to take meds.. It really just depends how severe your anxiety is and how you feel about taking medication.

Anyway good on you for wanting to go back to your therapist.. I know of at least two men from my past who committed suicide in the last couple of years :(

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[tirediron]

I just got back from the doctor. He wrote a prescription for 20mg of Paroxetine. I also asked for a referral to a psychiatrist. They actually have one in their network and I'm meeting with him next Tuesday. I then went and spoke with my Pastor. She's about my age, (61), and had issues with depression herself for years. She applauded me for taking action rather than letting it destroy me. She referenced, "The gift in the struggle", a story about a man who sees a butterfly trying to free itself from a cocoon. Quick story, and I won't ruin it for you here. Worth looking up. Thanks guys for your support and caring. Now I'm off to take another truckload of probably worthless stuff we had in out attic, to the new place.

[gypsylee]

That sounds productive (the doctor and Pastor). Good one :)

[josh0745]

I just got back from the doctor. He wrote a prescription for 20mg of Paroxetine. I also asked for a referral to a psychiatrist. They actually have one in their network and I'm meeting with him next Tuesday. I then went and spoke with my Pastor. She's about my age, (61), and had issues with depression herself for years. She applauded me for taking action rather than letting it destroy me. She referenced, "The gift in the struggle", a story about a man who sees a butterfly trying to free itself from a cocoon. Quick story, and I won't ruin it for you here. Worth looking up. Thanks guys for your support and caring. Now I'm off to take another truckload of probably worthless stuff we had in out attic, to the new place.

I know one thing that's helping us out in our house (something that most people including us don't think much about) is minimizing! This year, we've gotten rid of over 2,000 items from our house! To me it just feels like a weight has been lifted when I get rid of things that might serve no purpose, things I do like/don't want, or things that add no value. Less stuff = less worry about what to do with this that or the other (i.e. cleanup with two little ones) in our experience.

Josh

[tirediron]

We've gotten rid of a lot, but not enough. That's going to be our hobby once in the new place. I will say that I believe my problem at the moment is more related to grieving my mom, and the mountain of crap I still have to move to the new place. Not the 4 wheelers running about although I believe they triggered this newest episode. Once in the house I can focus on what to do next. You're probably younger than me Josh, but keep up the good work. The more stuff you rid yourself of, the freer you will be.