First time seeking help for anxiety properly

[self12]

Hi Guys.
Female in my 20s. Have had anxiety probably longer than I can remember. My anxiety prevents me from doing normal things in life I.e. Drive a car, want to take bus, take public transport, meet new people etc
I get nervous about things that others would consider 'normal'. I've basically tried the approach where you are scared but do it anyway. To be honest it gives me a boost I.e. I drove up the road after two years of having my licence even though it shit the life out of me but that boost quickly wears off.
My question is, when anxiety affects your everyday life, what can you do to make it easier to overcome those fears? How do you break out of that shell? I am pretty much alone on this. My family don't understand what I'm going through and it sounds sad but I haven't got mates because my anxiety caused me to push everyone away.

[barbimay]

Hi Self12 Welcome to the forum
You will find that there are quite a few who can relate on this forum. Anxiety can be crippling for most of us. There are some videos and articles on the net by a doctor called Claire Weekes who specialised in anxiety states and was a sufferer herself-especially panic attacks, and many of us here have found her advice very useful, take a look. Maybe you could also check out some of the threads here to help the physical aspects of anxiety such as the one about amino acids and magnesium curing anxiety. Some posters that come to mind in that area are panic cured and ponder, but I can't remember the title of their threads.
All the best

[RoadToRecovery]

Hi Self12. I'm sorry to hear that youve been struggling with anxiety for so long. I know how debilitating the symptoms can be. However, I also know that it is possible to recover from this disorder with the right information, help, dedication, and support. Have you by chance read my lengthy post I made on here about my own struggle and recovery? It is a long read, but I think you would find it very helpful. Here's a link to the post I made on this site:

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?36155-All-Anxiety-Sufferers-Please-Read-This-Could-Change-Your-Life

I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have as well :-)

Jordan

[Ponder]

Hi self. Joining this forum is a great start. Opening up the way you have show me just how much potential you really have. I guess whiles it's different for everyone, it can help to read up on generic approaches (coping strategies) and then adapt/adopt them on our individual needs. Heightened and disabling anxiety levls is something that's been deeply ingrained in my family from one generation to the next. So it is that I can say with confidence, that self esteem is a good place to start.

I don't want to overload you with much more than that at this stage. Starting out small and taking baby steps is a way that works for me. Little bit by little bit. Whilst graduated exposure can be helpful it's important to choose exposing yourself to those places and situations that really want to associate with. Imo social phobia is a tag that's handed out too quickly. There is nothing wrong with hanging back in those places and situations that often lead to wearing down. Finding out what you really want in life and determining for yourself what real contented living and happiness is really about. Anxiety is actually a normal part of life but sadly with today's values systems and hectic way 24/7 non stop practice of consuming anxiety levels are on the rise resulting in a world wide depression for those not seemingly fitting in.

Anxiety is also big business which can make finding a way to deal with it a complicated science. My advice is to again to keep things simple and start of little by little. Take in a wide variety of strategies but don't take everything as gospel being sure to only connect with those snippets of information that you feel relate to you and your situation on a personal level. Research and take things back in again as you grow to understand more because what you may not of connected with previously will often have a new meaning the second third or even forth time around.

I recommend checking out the following link:
http://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/The_Happiness_Trap_-_Introduction_and_Chapter_one.pdf

What country do you live in?
With anxiety and depression lvls now epidemic across the world, getting assistance to see a therapist is something that's now more available than every before. It just requires a desire to speak to a professional who may be able to help. I have been seeing one for years and also most of my kids now see one as well. We gain a LOT of help going this route. It's not so much a case that family don't care, its more a case that everyone is different and when it comes to dealing with pain - getting an impartial perspective is more key. So consider seeing a psychologist who deals more with core issues as opposed to simply handing out pills. If your not already using chemicals to deal with your problems, I highly recommend that you think carefully before starting off down that route.

Speaking of which ... that online pdf I linked is based on a strategy called ACT ... acceptance commitment therapy (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy). Being committed to wanting to get better is really were it's at. I look to keeping my stability in an unstable world as a serious part of my contribution to society and pretty much have to work on it every day. It's all in the approach. One you start to get a grip ... life starts to take on more color and breathing is no longer such a chore.

WELCOME TO THE FORUM! Were glad to have you aboard. :)

[self12]

Hi! Thank you so much for replying to my post. Yes, I am very intrigued about finding more out about the chemicals I.e. Amino acids and magnesium. I was thinking to go to my GP for this but it's nerve wracking... I don't want them thinking I'm mentally unstable or anything. Right now, my weight loss is helping me a lot with my self-worth. I'm not huge, but just chubby yet it makes me so self conscious. Thank you for your great advice.

[self12]

Yes indeed thank you for your understanding. I have read your story and it's inspiring. I hope one day I can grow, since anxiety never truly leaves you for good. It leaves these feelings behind. Would be great to stay in touch with you!

[self12]

Hi, your reply is amazing. I live in the UK. Society here is pretty shitty, very judgemental, very opinionated people almost anywhere and everywhere you go. I was thinking about seeing a therapist but it frightens me as I don't want to be sectioned a part of something where others look down on you sort of. I don't agree with medication for anxiety and sometimes I feel talking to a therapist isn't going to cut it as it's scripted. What do you think about this? Do they truly listen to your personal issues and your own life experience? I'm sure you will have some great insight on that!

[Ladybug2010]

I too am wondering how to get help. It has gotten worse and yesterday I had a panic attack at work in front of a co worker and I feel so stupid and it's horrible to say that it took until that moment for me to realize I need to get medication for it but I'm afraid of going to my doctor because I have it in my head that she will send me a psych ward or something of that nature.. so I never go.

[self12]

Everyone's advice has been great. Just take day by day to those who are also suffering

[Ladybug2010]

I got your PM and tried to message you but I don't have 10 posts yet :/

[self12]

Ahh damn! That's okay. I had the same problem a few days ago as I'm new to this lol. Never mind! I just wanted to let you know that I totally understood everything you had said and what you'd felt, like feeling silly in front of others. In all honesty though I don't think you need medication to solve the problem, that should always be the last resort for anyone. As humans we become attached and dependent on things very quickly when we are vulnerable and I have seen cases where taking tablets for anxiety has actually made the person worse and MORE anxious. There's loads of life hacks we can work to intertwine within our days. Being positive and seeing the positive in EVERY situation is key. For example, I have really bad social anxiety. Today, when I went to study I was in a room full of people I did not know (as I do independent study) and I actually hoaxed up the confidence to speak to someone, just to make myself feel like 'yes, you are fine in social situations'. In that instance, I didn't even have to talk if I didn't want to! But I chose to. So important small decisions go a long way to helping us feel better within ourselves. Another example would be, I am realllly anxious about taking public transport. I don't even know where that issue stemmed from, perhaps the crowds and being in a confined space with a lot of people that I do not know. I have a license at the moment and can drive, but I chose to take the bus. That way I can sort of force myself to do what I dislike in order for it to become more familiar, also to stop the anxiousness from getting worse. I often find that the more I do something I am uncomfortable with, the easier it becomes the next time. I hope you understand what I'm getting at (: sorry if I have rambled! I'm not sure how severe your anxiety is or how it effects your life, but I thought I'd share some of the things I experience. It's nice to be able to talk to others about this, especially when people reply! lol

[josh0745]

Welcome,

I read that you're trying to lose some weight, is the exercise benefiting your anxiety symptoms as well? This is one of the only things that's helped me over the past three years when my anxiety came back (had childhood separation anxiety that now presents as GAD, I'm almost 30).
My therapist helped me work through the whole judgement bit some by asking me rhetorical questions like "what would possibly make them and their opinions better than you?", or she would tell me about my self worth simply because I'm me. Kind of obvious I know, but at the time, it really felt good since I've had some family members disown me in the past and some other stuff.

Look forward to helping you out on your recovery! Keep us posted on what works for you, it might be everything to another member!

Josh

[self12]

Hi Josh, I'm not sure what gave you the impression that I'm trying to lose weight! However I do understand the link weight has with anxiousness/nervousness and low self esteem and so on. To be honest at my comfortable weight (10 pounds lighter) you do feel a lot better! So I do believe anxiety and your weight go hand in hand!
I'm glad your therapist helped you through, childhood separation is not easy at all, but you must be a lot stronger because of it now. You're totally right, people's opinions do not matter more than you matter. Very great way of putting it!
Don't worry about the people who come and go in your life. My closest family members I grew up with are not even in my life anymore. I believe in life we are sent people for a reason and to serve a purpose in our life and once they have, they will eventually fade. But - then someone new will come along, and hopefully with lots of happiness.
I wish you luck!

[josh0745]

Hi! Thank you so much for replying to my post. Yes, I am very intrigued about finding more out about the chemicals I.e. Amino acids and magnesium. I was thinking to go to my GP for this but it's nerve wracking... I don't want them thinking I'm mentally unstable or anything. Right now, my weight loss is helping me a lot with my self-worth. I'm not huge, but just chubby yet it makes me so self conscious. Thank you for your great advice.

This is the post I was referring to self12, thanks for the response.

Josh

[self12]

My goodness Josh sorry I had forgotten that I'd written that! Generally I try keep the weight loss and anxiety issues separate that's why I hadn't realised that I wrote about it - particularly as I have posted and written quite a few responses on the forum.
To be honest, being over-weight, even the slightest (i.e. chubby) definitely 100% does not help with anxiety. I currently have gotten back into a healthy regime, I don't call it a diet because weight issues for those who have been overweight since childhood will be a lifelong commitment in order to be healthy. So yeah, I have been slightly overweight since I was about 9. I lost all the weight at 18 and it's back on again. That's why it's a long term thing.
Interestingly though, at my lightest weight I was still a nervous wreck, probably because I thought I was still fat. Which I was not, I was 10 stone and I'm 5'4 with some muscle mass as I work out a lot. So, you could say that anxiety isn't necessarily caused by being over weight but IT DOES HELP alleviate your anxiousness when you lose weight.
Exercise is the one thing that keeps my anxiety at bay as much as possible. It's the best thing you can do, for your heart and for your mind. I always find that after a work out, and a good one where I have pushed myself, you get a buzz and you feel refreshed almost.

[jjh333]

I too am wondering how to get help. It has gotten worse and yesterday I had a panic attack at work in front of a co worker and I feel so stupid and it's horrible to say that it took until that moment for me to realize I need to get medication for it but I'm afraid of going to my doctor because I have it in my head that she will send me a psych ward or something of that nature.. so I never go.

This is a very common fear of people with anxiety! I felt the same way, especially when I was in the midst of an anxiety attack or panic. They won't think you're crazy. I went and was very honest with my doctor, and she explained that anxiety is the most treated illness in most doctors offices and ERs now! A professional will know how to help and won't judge you.