The "I Feel Like $#!%" Thread

[gypsylee]

Hi guys,

Lately I've been thinking it'd be helpful to have a thread here where people can post "bad" feelings they're having. It's based on something I read in "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris, which is about ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). He says it's therapeutic to share negative feelings in a SAFE environment. So the point of the thread would not be so much to try and find solutions to people's problems; just give them a space to VENT, without being judged or told to do this or that.

The main thing I want to avoid with this is the idea that talking about negative feelings means "wallowing" in them or "whining/whinging/complaining". We live in a culture where we get asked every day "how are you?" as a greeting, but noone dares say "actually, really bad". If you said that to a check-out person it'd be pretty awkward :) So I feel like there's quite enough pressure to keep our "unacceptable" feelings to ourselves.

I could put it in one of the lesser-used forums, like Depression, and I'd "moderate" it (being the diplomat I am) so it remains as "safe" as possible.

Let me know what you think.

Gypsy x

[Boo Bass]

Hi gypsy

good idea. I'm re reading that book right now

BB

[gypsylee]

Hey BB :)

I don't think I've read the whole thing actually, but only because I'm spoiled for choice with books. Has it been helpful for you?

[Boo Bass]

Hi gypsy

Yes it has been very helpful. Having read a few self help books now, it is the one I would recommend above all others.

BB

[gypsylee]

Oh cool. It was recommended to me by my psychiatrist who I have a lot of respect for and who's had a long career. My GP also recommended ACT to me.

I might make a thread in one of the other sections (which a few people have suggested I do) where everyone can comment, of course, but I'm the "ringleader" heh :cool:

[Ponder]

Hi guys,

Lately I've been thinking it'd be helpful to have a thread here where people can post "bad" feelings they're having.

Whilst out this morning I was overwhelmed with intrusive images. I was reliving a violent episode between myself and three tradesman that took place over my back fence. The police came out bla bla bla. Anyways the intrusive thoughts that followed I beleive were more spawn from the fact I am still purging the violence that took place. Basically I'm now living with images of wanting to not only kill the tradesmen but also - people at random. I'm really hoping that all the Fear Mongering for World War takes place sooner than later. I hope that humans keep on their current course with all their consuming and disregard for those beneath them. I hope what little of nature is left continues to degrade and that billions upon billions of humans succumb to Epic Disasters, Chaos, Famine & Disease. I know of no God ... but pray it happens within my lifetime and am prepared for my grandson to suffer; as I am of all the little children now forsaken on this pathetic rock.

These are but a few of the "bad feelings" that emanate when contemplating the "news", gazing social media notifications, checking my email/mail, un-ticking spam & telling people on my phone whom I don't even know - to "fuck off & leave me alone!"
______________________________________

Next ...

[gypsylee]

I was still trying to get to sleep when you wrote that. Then I kept waking up every hour or so until midday, ugh.

[Ponder]

Srry for your loss. I thought this was a place I could share my bad feelings without being held to blame?

"... a space to VENT, without being judged or ..."

Does the suggestion avoid logging in when it's time to go to sleep make any sense? Especaily reading a thread meant for people to share their pain?

Once again ... very srry for your loss of sleep.

PS - I was actually very mindful not to go overboard with details. It could of been way way worse.

I guess now it's time for me to miss out on my sleep. LMFAO

I'm leaving the forum for a whiles Gypsy ... just so you can get some sleep. LOL

Take care and say hi to Dahila for me ... if your sill in contact with her.

Adios ... happy anxiety attacks everyone. :)

[gypsylee]

Uh.. It doesn't mean anything other than I had insomnia last night.. :confused:

[salvator here]

Hi Gypsy, hope you're doing alright these days. Sorry I've been absent as of late. I haven't much in the way of encouraging words anymore for people, so I tent to just stay quiet and keep to myself so as not to bring others down with me. Some days I only come out of my room to eat something.

Lately, its been less *I should seek help*, and more *suffer/simmer in silence* which is way worse I know. Honestly, things look pretty bleak if I look too far ahead to the future, so I just carry on the best way I know how, and try to take things day-by-day. Music and video games seem to bring me some relief; somewhat. I've been sleeping a lot though (too much).

I feel completely lost at at this stage in my life and lacking the tools to deal with everything on my place and I can't catch a break either. I'm not even expecting happiness anymore, I'm looking more to be content someday and grow old and bitter. Even that feels out or reach at this point when I have nowhere and nobody to turn for support. Nobody cares anyway so why bother. I've lost faith in humanity now.

I have edited this countless times as it was really depressing and alarming had left in how I (truly) feel in my darkest days (and am feeling currently as I write this)!

Anyways.. Sorry, I seem to only to return here when I'm not doing well and negative and I don't like that.

Take care.

[salvator here]

Going out and being around people is exhausting as I have to put on a fake smile. I'm becoming even more reclusive and I don't like it.

[gypsylee]

Hi Salvator :)

Yeah I'm ok. This was just an idea I had - a thread where people can be as depressed as they like. A pity party if you will! This is not the actual thread though *insane laugh* but it can be until I make the real "I Feel Like Shit" thread.

Don't mind me. It's that time of the month so I let myself fester in bed LOL and woke up an hour ago after a pretty horrible dream. Not like ghosts or monsters or killing or anything, just my subconscious feelings of BETRAYAL. Maybe the pity party can even include the crappy dreams we have! Carl Jung referred to dreams as something like "the royal road to the unconscious". I used to type mine when I was in my 20s and I remember the file got to 25,000 words haha. I also went to this workshop once run by a woman whose husband was killed in a car accident.. She was suicidal with grief and thinking about taking her two children with her. It was her dreams that helped her work through her emotions though (she might have been in some dream analysis group but I can't remember because this was 20 years ago).

Anyway, good to hear from you. I'm pretty reclusive as well and spend most of my time reading books, writing emails, feeding semi-wild animals and sleeping :) Right now there's a cockatoo on the table outside my window waiting for his sunflower seeds!

Take it easy..
Gypsy x

[MainerMikeBrown]

Since this thread is about expressing negative thoughts, I'll say what sometimes bothers me is that I used to work with a mental health worker years ago who kept ramming his opinion down my throat that I should do this, this, and this.

It irritates me still because I have the right to have a big say when it comes to my treatment. But I never told him that. I didn't stand up for myself enough while working with him. I wish I had.

[gypsylee]

I just saw this on Facebook and it's a concept that I think is really important (and not well understood/used) and kind of what I'm getting at with this idea. I joke about it being a "pity party" but my more serious intention is this idea of "holding space":

https://fractalenlightenment.com/38120/life/importance-holding-space-how-its-done

[gypsylee]

Since this thread is about expressing negative thoughts, I'll say what sometimes bothers me is that I used to work with a mental health worker years ago who kept ramming his opinion down my throat that I should do this, this, and this.

It irritates me still because I have the right to have a big say when it comes to my treatment. But I never told him that. I didn't stand up for myself enough while working with him. I wish I had.

Interesting, because that's what I want to avoid and in a way it's what the article I just posted is about :)

[salvator here]

I didn't stand up for myself enough while working with him. I wish I had.I seem to always go through this. I don't stand up for myself enough and regret it after the visit. Usually when in the office and seeing the doctor I freeze up and words fail me.

[aml0017]

I like this idea, there is societal pressure to keep your feelings to yourself and not feel too sorry for ourselves, but that doesn't stop the feelings from occurring. Better to let them out among people who understand.

I have been going through a weird phase. Not so much anxiety, but just increasing self loathing. I am very overweight and trying to lose weight and get healthier. I am on the path but after the last surge of weight gain I fear I will have loose skin in my stomach and thighs. The last time I lost a lot of weight I hadn't been as big so my skin just contracted as I lost weight. It is what it is but I just find myself getting so angry and hateful towards myself for letting myself go. Then my brain keeps dredging up all the embarrassing moments I have ever had in my life, every time I felt small and inferior (yes...I remember them all lol), as if they were happening to me again. Like, wtf!?! I also have to stay away from the news and I avoid emotional vampires like the plague. Probably the main reason I don't share all my negative feelings with anyone is that I don't want to be an emotional vampire, they suck (hehe).

But don't worry, the anxiety is still lurking...last night I found a chip in the paint of my brand new car and just about lost my mind. So now I am back to the old freaking out over trivial things that aren't the end of the world but it still feels like it omg I'm going to have another crying jag...must be Tuesday.

[gypsylee]

Hiya aml :)

I'm just bumping this up.

I'm reading another book about acceptance which really seems to be the key to dealing with anxiety (and all negative feelings).

Here's a link and summary:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/173666.Radical_Acceptance

“Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book. This suffering emerges in crippling self-judgments and conflicts in our relationships, in addictions and perfectionism, in loneliness and overwork--all the forces that keep our lives constricted and unfulfilled. Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach’s twenty years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students.

[aml0017]

Thanks gypsy I'll check that out. The underlying low self worth is really what drives my anxiety. Otherwise it would be just like any medical condition that I would need to deal with.

[martin05]

Le bump...

I have a headache. Think we've got a storm comin'.

[gypsylee]

I might make the actual thread..

[Ladybug2010]

I feel like i"m going to get fired because of my anxiety. I had a panic attack at work and I never told my boss about my anxiety during my interview and now that a co worker witnessed it I'm afraid everything is going to come out and I'll be fired.

[gypsylee]

I feel like i"m going to get fired because of my anxiety. I had a panic attack at work and I never told my boss about my anxiety during my interview and now that a co worker witnessed it I'm afraid everything is going to come out and I'll be fired.

I think this is pretty common at the moment.