* Hope this doesn't go unread *

[Poosmum]

...my history... diagnosed with panic disorder and Agoraphobia in 1998... Had my ups and downs but managed to live independently despite not going anywhere alone since 1998...

Fast forward to 2014... Suffered 2 massive asthma attacks when I was home alone. Coped really well actually, called an ambulance was put on a nebuliser and was okay...

April 2015.. Was cheated on by my then boyfriend... suddenly my panic attacks were happening ALL the time, even at home which has been a place of peace for me for years. I was literally getting swamped by panic and I stopped being able to be home alone.

NOW... I've been living between my mums house and my house since June 2015. I cannot be alone. Monophobia has consumed my life. As soon as my mum tries to leave panic hits and they are so bad I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind and being suffocated at the same time. It happens within milliseconds of the front door shutting. I cannot cope with them. I've lost everything. The depression is so bad. I feel angry with myself for not being able to recover. Frequently feel suicidal because I have NO LIFE! I have to follow my mum round everywhere she goes. It's a hateful existence. I've seen a therapist and she's not helped. I'm on medication. They don't help. Tried to come
Off meds and change to another and nearly killed myself in the process.

I don't know what to do... 2 years living like this is horrid. I was home bound back in 2000-2002 and that wasn't as bad as this. I hate not being in my own home...

Any ideas??

Oh yeah....I am 41 and a single mum.

[gypsylee]

Hi Poosmum and welcome,

Do you get the panic when your child is with you or when you are completely alone? How old is the child (if you don't mind me asking)?

Don't give up hope.. If you were housebound before you can overcome this as well. I'm 43 and been prone to anxiety/depression my whole life (diagnosed with Major Depression in 1993). I know just how debilitating it can be but there's a lot of support out there now and it's much less stigmatised.

Hang in there! You'll hopefully get lots of helpful suggestions here (and people who you can talk to that understand) :)

Gypsy x

[Anne1221]

Can you try a different therapist? Sometimes the therapist can teach you how to slowly deal with very short periods of being alone until you are able to tolerate longer and longer periods of being alone.