Déja-vu, catastrophic thinking and concentration

[AnxiousMicky]

Hello everyone, just reposting my thread I posted on the Welcome forum.

Here are some of the things that happen to me regularly that I would like some insight about:

Sometimes, when the anxiety gets really bad, and stress rushes through my body and mind, I feel like I've already lived/seen the situation I'm experiencing in a dream or in a vision. It's like a déjà-vu or a premonition, and that in this moment, or in the really near future, I will die or something catastrophic (natural disaster, me going completely nuts, losing control, getting rejected by my family because of a breakdown...) will happen and there is nothing I can do about it.

Also, some other times I get a foggy feeling of being in a dream-like state, like I am not participating in reality and everything (so familiar cognitively) seems and feels... new. It's not a bad feeling per se, but it feels strange and like it shouldn't really happen too often. Is it derealization ?

Some other times I feel an existential fear of my own mortality, that gets me really nervous and anxious to do a lot of things fast and good in order to produce something worthwhile while I am still alive. Terrifying feeling. It feels like the skull some artists have on their desk is constantly following me around, reminding me of time ticking away... it can really make me anxious and a little sad, but I don't allow myself to get demoralized by it.

Also, sometimes I get weird memory and attention blocks. Sometimes I forget, for a brief period of time, what I did the day before or a sentence I just heard etc...
Some other times, I can't seem to focus so well on the task at hand and get lost in a thought and need to consciously remind myself of what I was doing. That's weird because I've always had a great memory and attention/concentration capability. Probably caused by a heightened state of stress ?

Finally, although it's true I have myopia, I noticed like I can't really see that well without my glasses on, compared to other times when I am not as much stressed out. Like if anxiety and stress diminished the power of my eyes... is it because I spend a lot of times looking at screens (computer, iphone and university lectures) and that I have eyesight problems (myopia) in the first place ? or does anxiety play a role in that as well ?

Thanks for reading me.

Have a blessed day.

AnxiousMicky

[gcltr777]

All of that is anxiety related.

That being said, it can also come from hypoglycemia, and host of other things. It is important to get checked initially before just 'dumping' all aches, pains, and 'weird' things on anxiety. Because of the way it affects the brain, most all anxiety chemicals (cortisal, adrenaline, norepinephrine, etc.) are designed to heighten our senses, in every fashion possible to protect us in crisis. When those chemicals 'misfire' or are not controlled (note that EVERYONE has lost control of these at one point in their life), our senses (whatever they may be for you) are not balanced.

In my case I have general anxiety, but mostly focused on catastrophic thinking. This actually has been proven to be more prevalent in smarter people (as we run MANY scenarios at once, but don't 'go crazy'). My worst physical trait is nighttime panic attacks. This feels as though someone has 'pumped' me full of a 'cold' chemical that shoots from my chest out to my extremities. They don't happen in the day, just at night. I've had them a few times in my life for several days in a row. They are horrible, but it's crazy to see how many people deal with these things.

Know that you are BY FAR not alone in what you deal with. It's just that in the past, most people considered this 'a part of life', and either drank or smoked it away. It's not till just the last 30 or so years Dr.s and such have started realizing the true cause and nature of these problems. Heh, I remember reading a Dr's remark that anxiety was just "good exercise for the heart"... oh well.

[AnxiousMicky]

Thanks a lot for your answer. I got thoroughly checked out and everything physical seems normal. I think that because of the catastrophic thinking I tend to overanalyze small changes in my perceptions and start freaking out about them when stressed out. I read something that went along the lines of "when in a heightened state of anxiety, the rational part of your brain (neocortex) get less blood and is partially switched off because of the fight or flight response", so in my case of GAD that may be why prolonged periods of anxiety have this effect on me.

How do you cope with your nighttime issues ? Do you have a specific plan or remedy that helps ease the feeling ? Are you able to fall asleep after a while ? Do you have a therapist to help you control it ?

I know a lot of people struggle with this, now. At first, you always seem to think that you're alone and that something major must be horribly wrong with your head/mind/brain. Hopefully, we have means to share our experiences now and there is less social stigma about it than there was a few years ago, you're absolutely right. And thanks for that, it makes it easier to bear.

I just need some reassurance here: do you think anxiety, once it has come to pass, will eventually go away with time and proper dedication/therapy ? Can it have lasting effects on your brain and/or life overall ?

[gypsylee]

Hi Micky :)

There is DEFINITELY less stigma around anxiety/depression now. Mine became debilitating when I was 19 (in 1993) and it was absolutely terrifying. It didn't help that I got sent to a psychiatrist who put me on a cocktail of meds including old-school anti-psychotics, which turned me into a complete zombie. I thought I was headed for a mental institution for life!

I still struggle with it (I'm 43) but for a long time I was one of those people who tried to drink it away, which just makes it ten times worse. I think with the amount of support available now and the reduced stigma it will be much easier for people to recover or at least live a better quality of life than I have. At the same time though, I think things are getting more stressful in general, so more people will suffer and it'll be interesting to see what happens.

You seem to have a good amount of self-awareness and willingness to be open about how you feel, so I think there's a good chance you'll be ok :)

All the best,
Gypsy x

[AnxiousMicky]

Hi Micky :)

There is DEFINITELY less stigma around anxiety/depression now. Mine became debilitating when I was 19 (in 1993) and it was absolutely terrifying. It didn't help that I got sent to a psychiatrist who put me on a cocktail of meds including old-school anti-psychotics, which turned me into a complete zombie. I thought I was headed for a mental institution for life!

I still struggle with it (I'm 43) but for a long time I was one of those people who tried to drink it away, which just makes it ten times worse. I think with the amount of support available now and the reduced stigma it will be much easier for people to recover or at least live a better quality of life than I have. At the same time though, I think things are getting more stressful in general, so more people will suffer and it'll be interesting to see what happens.

You seem to have a good amount of self-awareness and willingness to be open about how you feel, so I think there's a good chance you'll be ok :)

All the best,
Gypsy x

Thank you very much for your answer, you gave me a lot of hope and conforting ! I love your signature quote btw, really inspiring.

I am happy to read that you managed to live your life bravely with this condition, that can sometimes feel like there is no hope... but there is ! I am on a strict day-time routine that seems to help a LOT since the last 10 days, when I first put it into practice. it makes life much more bearble and helps me stay motivated and healthy. It goes as follows:

-At least 8 to 9 hours of quality sleep every night. Lack of sleep makes it far worse for me.
-Eating as healthy as possible, with tons of fresh fruits and vegetables. Nature is so smart that it put the medication in the food.
-Exercising daily for 30-40mins where I SWEAT it all out and focus my mind solely on my body and not on overanalyzing my thought processes and the things that make me irrationnally anxious.
-MAGNESIUM, is a revelation here. Helps me sleep, ease off the cramps from the exercise and feel less anxious overall. And it's natural and cheap 'medication'.
-As little coffee, cigarettes and alcohol as possible, although the last one seems to make me feel more happy..
-Socializing as much as possible. Recently joined a student association in my university. Helps get out of your head and more focused on the outside world. Also, gives you responsibility and commitments.
-Study as hard as I can to crush my exams.
-I developped a series of mantras for when I feel the anxiety kicking in, such as: "You survived before, you will survive this." , "If I die, I die. Nothing less, nothing more.", "I am stronger than my fear.", "This feeling is not dangerous and it can't kill me." And usually making fun of my own anxiety seems to help as well !
-Doing everything that triggers even a tiny bit of anxiety. Litterally running towards whatever is scaring me, to face it. When you avoid it, you make it part of the unknown, therefore it can take a 1000 different scary forms in your mind. The key, I find, is getting as ready as possible to face and defeat your fears daily.
-Trying not to think about my anxiety as much as I can. The less I think about it, the better I feel thoughout the day. But this entails that you keep yourself BUSY as hell the first month or so.
-And finally, almost a spiritual choice. Get busy living or get busy dying. Your choice. It is unconfortable, but it isn't dangerous. We can overcome it and we will, but we need to fight.

Sorry for the long list, but it helps me organize it in my mind to really write it down. Hopefully, someone can use it as well for their own journey !
Thanks for reading me.

Best of luck and strength to all of you.


AnxiousMicky

[Synner]

I just need some reassurance here: do you think anxiety, once it has come to pass, will eventually go away with time and proper dedication/therapy ? Can it have lasting effects on your brain and/or life overall ?I don't think one is ever "cured" of anxiety or panic (though there are people who will disagree with me). I think...strike that...I know it can be managed to the point that it's not part of your everyday life any longer. I've been through two very long stretches (10 years each) in which I didn't really have any episodes. Yet here I am, 20 years post diagnosis, with a flare up. But the bottom line is this...whether or not you can actually cure it, or just manage it to the point that it basically no longer exists for you, life gets better. Cure or no cure, the results can be the same.

[AnxiousMicky]

I don't think one is ever "cured" of anxiety or panic (though there are people who will disagree with me). I think...strike that...I know it can be managed to the point that it's not part of your everyday life any longer. I've been through two very long stretches (10 years each) in which I didn't really have any episodes. Yet here I am, 20 years post diagnosis, with a flare up. But the bottom line is this...whether or not you can actually cure it, or just manage it to the point that it basically no longer exists for you, life gets better. Cure or no cure, the results can be the same.

Your words comfort me a great deal, thank you. How did the anxiety strike back up in your case ? Did you do/experience something specifically to trigger it back up after such long periods of absence ? I would really like to know more about it.