Your number one frustration with panic disorder

[sanomi]

What is your biggest pain point or frustration with having panic disorder?

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome :)

My biggest issue is the difference between the functional me and the non-functional, anxiety-stricken me. This in itself causes more anxiety, so it's a vicious circle.

[salvator here]

For me; I guess..

There is a difference between anxiety and 'panic mode'. When I am in panic mode and there is nobody to turn to (in real life), I'm left up to my own devices and it mentally drains me, as well as physically and I'm left questioning everything about myself.

Thank you for starting the thread as a general topic of discussion rather than a thread to offer support for any particular member, and this is why I feel a bit more at ease posting this. Yesterday evening I was feeling very suicidal and was considering posting here asking for help, I started several postings but just closed the browser and stopped and gave up hoping I would sleep it off, and luckily I did. When I woke up this morning I was so drained and felt physically ill all over my body. Panic turns into anxiety and usually manifests itself with physical symptoms that last well into the next day sometimes. I was able to fully snap out of it and suicide didn't even cross my mind today at all. So panic disorder causes all that for nothing as long as I don't act on those thoughts/ideations.

So the point there was, panic disorder clouds my judgement I become illogical.

For the record.. I'm feeling just fine now and actually had a pretty descent day overall considering waking up questionable.

[gypsylee]

I use "panic" and "anxiety" interchangeably, with panic just being the extreme end of the scale. I do know "panic mode" and it's horrendous. That's when I end up compulsively drinking unless I have something like benzos to take the edge off it. I'm glad you feel better now Salvator.

[richierich25]

Biggest frustration with panic disorder is that I have been medically cleared as "healthy" and deep down I know I am healthy but i still have health anxiety! Its like my mind wont believe the doctors! I'm fine with being dizzy, muscle aches, on and off headaches but heart palpitation scare the S*** out of me and it causes me to panic when I Know there is no need to panic!

[Kirk]

I have had skipped beats for over 30 years and they still scare the hell out of me sometimes.

[Ponder]

Hi and welcome; will we ever see you again?

Being Human.

[sanomi]

I appreciate all your thoughtful responses. For me, trying to hide my fears from everyone and act normal has, at times been, overwhelming. Very few people knew about the level of distress I suffered from on a daily basis. Have others kept all this to themselves or only confided to a small select group of trusted friends?

[salvator here]

Well, feel free to Let 'Er Rip here; that's why were here and you don't have hold back with us.

Yeah, other then here on the forum, I tend to keep it to myself in real life now. I don't go around with a fake smile either though, but the very people I confided in (promptly) turned their backs on me when I needed them the most and that was more painful. I guess it depends, you may have to sort of make a judgement call wen It comes to confiding in friends - I feel its alright to withhold your inner most secrets from people. Sometimes only you (truly) understand what you're going through. Mindfulness (which seems to be automatic for me) has been a life safer. Right now I'm in search of a mental health hotline that are not for crisis and suicide, rather for those times when I just need somebody to talk to when there is nobody to turn to, but I'm not having much luck.

Online support help me a lot though and its more anonymous, but are you in some sort of therapy at all?

PS: Thanks gypsy. It sometimes takes enormous restraint to not wonder into a bar, again, but I know I can't.

[Teafrenzy]

What's my biggest "frustration"?

At first, when I got my disorder, I was frustrated by the fact that I knew other people living good lives, partying, having fun or when a little older, raising families. A good day for me was having no panic attacks.

Now that I am somewhat recovered, I am frustrated by the "TINGE". I feel 100% sometimes but I am a tinge off. I feel so frigging close to returning back to normal that i can taste it. I'm not saying that it's worse than being lightheaded 24/7 or something like that, but it is "frustrating" by the sense of the word.

[Nice_normal_panics]

I appreciate all your thoughtful responses. For me, trying to hide my fears from everyone and act normal has, at times been, overwhelming. Very few people knew about the level of distress I suffered from on a daily basis. Have others kept all this to themselves or only confided to a small select group of trusted friends?
I seem to have sudden moments of panic related to the situation. For instance, if the gym is crowded and noisy, I will suddenly start remembering feeling clumsy and awkward in high school PE classes and hyperventilating and need to calm myself before bolting for the door. Or in a supermarket and trying to decide which brand to buy I sometimes hear my wife's criticism in my ear "We'll never get through such a large box," "The kids won't eat that brand" "We really don't need XXX" and feel lightheaded start hyperventilating and want to abandon my shopping cart and run home empty-handed.
Ouch, hurts to think about it. Once or twice have been asked "Are you feeling OK, you look very white?" when someone notices.

[NJD15]

This is an interesting discussion.... and I agree that "panic" and "anxiety" are very different things. Anxiety for me is just a constant, gnawing feeling that something is wrong, and I dont know what it is and I cant fix it but I feel like whatever it is is just killing me. When I am in panic mode, I am reacting in flight or fight mode in a stressful situation. Literally I'm scared to death and I feel I'm dying. (I'm not suicidal, but I feel like its happening at the time). During these times I have to separate myself and do whatever I need to do to get out of the panic attack, so like deep breathing or some tai chi, or some crying, whatever.
Those are my thoughts on that

[NJD15]

For me its guilt and shame, seeing how my anxiety and panic attacks affect my family.

[NJD15]

This is an interesting discussion.... and I agree that "panic" and "anxiety" are very different things. Anxiety for me is just a constant, gnawing feeling that something is wrong, and I dont know what it is and I cant fix it but I feel like whatever it is is just killing me. When I am in panic mode, I am reacting in flight or fight mode in a stressful situation. Literally I'm scared to death and I feel I'm dying. (I'm not suicidal, but I feel like its happening at the time). During these times I have to separate myself and do whatever I need to do to get out of the panic attack, so like deep breathing or some tai chi, or some crying, whatever.
Those are my thoughts on that

[Synner]

Usually panic disorder manifests around health concerns (whereas GAD is usually a social issue of some kind) and tends to evoke a much stronger response, but the attacks tend to be a lot shorter as well. It is possible, and common, to have both.

To me the most frustrating thing is knowing that I have already beaten this twice in my life, but still suffering another flare up. It seems logical that once you've pretty much been able to put it to bed, it should be over. But it's not.

[sarsaparilla]

A good day for me was having no panic attacks.
ain't that the truth.



Now that I am somewhat recovered, I am frustrated by the "TINGE". I feel 100% sometimes but I am a tinge off. I feel so frigging close to returning back to normal that i can taste it. I'm not saying that it's worse than being lightheaded 24/7 or something like that, but it is "frustrating" by the sense of the word.

I relate so much to this. I haven't had full blown attacks in months. My psychiatrist says my panic disorder in in "remission" so hurray! but there's still something off. the "tinge". I constantly feel like I could teeter back into the depths of panic disorder. I'm "high functioning" and can go to school and work and talk to my friends... but I don't feel like I did before the first episodes of panic attacks. And of course I have GAD and Depression so those are still things I contend with.

One big frustration for me is that I feel like it requires so much patience to live with panic disorder. There's so much WAITING. Waiting for the panic to fade, waiting for benzos to kick in during an attack, waiting to find the correct medication with your psychiatrist, waiting for therapy to work, taking the time to figure out your triggers. It forces you to be patient. But now I feel like I can wait another 6 months and I'll be feeling like I did before any of this panic madness...