Needing guidance.. just had my second 'nervous breakdown' or 'anxiety attack'

[PennysMom]

Hi Community! So glad I found this forum. Recently I had my second anxiety attack with effects still lingering, and I'm looking for support/guidance. My first one was 5 years ago when my boyfriend of 3 years (who I had moved to Texas for) went on a business trip and decided he wasn't coming back... abandoned me with all of our things, the apartment, the dog we just adopted, no family, right before Christmas. Luckily my mom was able to fly out to pack up the apartment while I was useless (constant sobbing, trouble breathing, nausea, etc) for days. It took a few months, but I started to feel normal, saw a therapist, and was able to get on medication that helped.

Fast forward to Monday this week. My fiancé (amazing man) and I had been talking about relocating to Seattle potentially for a new experience. A company flew me up for an interview Friday, and it was an amazing time. Monday I received an offer letter from them, and when the reality sunk in, the panic came on. My face flushed, my body got hot and tense, my heart started beating, I couldn't breathe, I cried, I full on couldn't control myself. My fiancé didn't know what to do, as I had time to make the decision and we wouldn't even be moving for a month, so he didn't understand the fear. The next day I was a bit better, still anxious, I told him I thought we should take the move opportunity. Once he said "Ok" and started looking for apartments out there, the attack came on again, but stronger. I couldn't breathe, cried, actually vomited multiple times, started hyperventilating- it was awful. It was obvious to me that I wasn't ready to make the move or take the job, but I had so much anxiety over making the decision it was making me literally sick. Yesterday I declined the job offer, and felt anxious still - sick all day. Relieved because I felt I'd made the right decision, but waves of anxiety throughout the day questioning my own decision. Even today (day 4) I'm feeling waves of panic and anxiety on and off. I'm not sure what to do.

[gypsylee]

Hi PennysMom and welcome :)

I read this yesterday but got distracted, sorry. Anyway, your reaction to the new job and the idea of moving makes me think you have some kind of PTSD. I wonder if it's because of what happened 5 years ago (when your boyfriend disappeared) or something else that was traumatic. I know PTSD is generally associated with horrific experiences like going to war or being in a car accident, but it really depends on how sensitive you are.

It just seems like an extreme response to a particular situation. I get a bit like that when dealing with my ex-husband because of ongoing emotional abuse. He doesn't even have to do anything much and I can go into a complete frenzy.

All the best,
Gypsy x

[BrilliantSide]

Hey PennysMom.

I agree with gypsylee, you probably have some sort of PTSD (although not an official diagnosis). Our brain can get triggered to cause the fear fight/flight response by events that seem similar in our mind. You might want to investigate Relational Frame Theory, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. They might explain why you are having panic attacks with this.

Probably the best way forward is to either see a counselor or a medical hypnotist. I am the latter, and I help people with trauma quite a bit.

However, if you didn't want to see a professional then perhaps journalling or meditation might do well? I would say that what you are going through is much more normal than you think it is. The brain is just set up to try and protect us, which can sometimes lead to an over active fear response!