PDA

View Full Version : New here. Seeking some outside help.



DW1983
02-15-2017, 10:43 PM
Hello All. First off a little about myself. Im 33yr old male from PA. Normal guy. Well up until a few months ago LOL. Anyhow here's a little bit about me and my "anxiety" issues.
Sept 30th of 2015 I lost my mom in a terrible car accident due to negligence of another driver doped up on heroin. Well since there was no life insurance ect.. for my mother I had to raise the money and use part of my own savings for funeral expenses. During this whole thing I was tore up, my mom was my best friend! Yes I was a mommas boy. Anyhow I was dealing with allot of cops, lawyers ect... So I guess I didn't want to pay much attention to the fact my mom is gone so I buried it and tried not to think about it. Well a few months had gone by, I started to get these spells of what felt like my BP was high, I would get dizzy.... Never paid much attention to it. Well court hearings and everything is finally over. So this past October and November I suddenly got this anxious, scared almost panic type of feeling. I thought I was going nuts!. After a few minutes passed by I was fine but still did not feel like myself at all. This happened out of the blue! Its been like this since that day. I went to my doctor to see what's up. Told him what happened, The first thing he asked was, what did I ever do about my moms situation, Meaning did I ever grieve about it? I told him no I did not. So instead of putting me on meds which I don't want anyhow he suggested I go see a counselor. Been seeing one about a half dozen times now. I can't tell if its been helping as I still feel not myself like. They both think its due to the fact I kept all that bottled up and Im doing the right thing by talking about it. My counselor has a way to bring it up that just makes me loose it and I will get very emotional about it. Now I don't have a bad life at all I actually love my life. Some of the symptoms I feel are... Like things sometimes aren't real, anxious, fear of dying ect... I am a man of facts so I am always looking for advice. Is this normal? Will this eventually subside without meds, I think meds most of the time just hides what's actually bothering you, been on them before for another reason. I just don't know why this happened to me out of the blue. I want to be myself and feel like myself again!! Is this truly anxiety issues or something else? Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

tiredoffeelinganxious
02-16-2017, 06:58 AM
DW1983, I'm a PA person as well!

I'm very sorry about the loss of your mother. To me, this sounds like classic anxiety. It can do crazy things to our body. Good for you for seeing a counselor, I would say stick with it, it's not a quick fix. I had a major loss in my family last year. I had a fear of dying before but now its even worse and sometimes I have the feeling of things not being real as well. Meds are a personal decision. I take them but eventually would like to wean off of them. I think they can help take the edge off but you must do other things to help yourself as well-talking with someone, exercise, meditation, etc. I hope you feel better soon. One thing is for your sure-you are NOT alone!!!!

DW1983
02-20-2017, 11:24 PM
If pretty difficult thing this anxiety is! Where about PA you from? Im from NEPA near Williamsport. Anyhow, I guess im asking myself if and what causes this. Many many people and docs believe its from the death of my mother and may well be but why a yr later do I experience anxiety? You know I don't think about my moms situation often and when I do it doesn't bother me, its when someone brings up certain things it hits me a good bit. I just hope this counseling will help this subside!

BrilliantSide
02-21-2017, 08:32 AM
It definitely could be anxiety and maybe even a bit of depression.

I agree with your counselors and doctors, talking about things is probably the best way forward.

What a lot of people don't understand about counseling is a lot of times it isn't pleasant. I've been to counseling multiple times where I left feeling a lot worse that day then when I started. However, it's by being brave enough to do that work that you eventually move past the trauma that was causing everything.

Keep it up.

DW1983
03-12-2017, 11:44 PM
Wanted to post a bit of an update. I have been fighting threw this as best as I can. The start of last week I feel like I'm having some "spells". The normal not feeling like myself and this horrible fear of dying and what's beyond death has me scared and panic like. And that seems to be all I can think about. Of course a little bit of depression doesn't help this. I have another session with my counselor this Thursday so I hope that helps. I have had so many friends pass, and if this is truly part of grief I kept bottled up about my mom it is sure something I never felt before.

josh0745
03-13-2017, 09:10 AM
Wanted to post a bit of an update. I have been fighting threw this as best as I can. The start of last week I feel like I'm having some "spells". The normal not feeling like myself and this horrible fear of dying and what's beyond death has me scared and panic like. And that seems to be all I can think about. Of course a little bit of depression doesn't help this. I have another session with my counselor this Thursday so I hope that helps. I have had so many friends pass, and if this is truly part of grief I kept bottled up about my mom it is sure something I never felt before.

I feel like this every morning, but for me it's not from loss but the fear of loss I want to say ? I haven't seen my therapist in months.. but I have some CBT tools at my disposal now to help me calm back down. Another thing that I have tried with some success is to invite the fear in and ask for more! I got this technique from a podcast and it works, especially if you're having a panic attack. By talking through it out loud at yourself and asking for more, a lot times the panic subsides.

Loss is horrible man, I'm sure there's a lot of healing work to do. Seek as many resources as you can for support, we have your back too! Life is a beautiful thing, I for one get locked in my head so much I forget to notice!

Josh