bluepaintcan123
02-14-2017, 03:39 PM
Today ended up being pretty terrible (as always.)
My french teacher was pointing out some of the things we did wrong in our writing and I started taking some of it personally. I get it, she is supposed to correct us, but I still felt angry when she turned to my friend's homework and started pointing out what she wrote wrong. She basically told us that the grammar mistakes were evidence that we didn't care about the class, and she continually asked us "what did you even do last year? what did you do?" as if our last teacher didn't teach us anything.
After reviewing the stuff we did wrong I felt so stupid, and I didn't want her to check my work because I knew there was going to be something wrong with it. Low and behold, I didn't put the fucking word in it's infinitive form. I felt like I was going to cry, and what made it even worse was that there wasn't even a reason to cry. What was I going to cry over? Over a teacher doing her job? Over me being incompetent?
After that I didn't want to stay in the school any longer. I was trying to stick around because I needed more activities (colleges want that stuff) but I felt so shitty. I went up to the library to try and work on some scholarship essays but I could not write a single word. In the end, I finally left.
There was a lump in my throat and I couldn't stop thinking about how terrible I felt, now doubly so because I was leaving for basically no reason.
Once I got on the bus I started to feel better because it was almost empty, but I still felt like I should've gotten off and went back to the school. It makes me worry about what I will act like in the future. If I just left work for no reason other than I made myself almost cry, I would be fired. Just like that. I can't expect to keep acting like a child and expecting people to go along with it, I need to learn to force myself to work. Its so hard to work when you don't feel good, but I never feel good. I just feel mediocre most of the time and shitty the rest of the time.
I don't know what to do, and that makes me really worried. I still have a lot of work to do right now, but it is hard to focus. Advice?
My french teacher was pointing out some of the things we did wrong in our writing and I started taking some of it personally. I get it, she is supposed to correct us, but I still felt angry when she turned to my friend's homework and started pointing out what she wrote wrong. She basically told us that the grammar mistakes were evidence that we didn't care about the class, and she continually asked us "what did you even do last year? what did you do?" as if our last teacher didn't teach us anything.
After reviewing the stuff we did wrong I felt so stupid, and I didn't want her to check my work because I knew there was going to be something wrong with it. Low and behold, I didn't put the fucking word in it's infinitive form. I felt like I was going to cry, and what made it even worse was that there wasn't even a reason to cry. What was I going to cry over? Over a teacher doing her job? Over me being incompetent?
After that I didn't want to stay in the school any longer. I was trying to stick around because I needed more activities (colleges want that stuff) but I felt so shitty. I went up to the library to try and work on some scholarship essays but I could not write a single word. In the end, I finally left.
There was a lump in my throat and I couldn't stop thinking about how terrible I felt, now doubly so because I was leaving for basically no reason.
Once I got on the bus I started to feel better because it was almost empty, but I still felt like I should've gotten off and went back to the school. It makes me worry about what I will act like in the future. If I just left work for no reason other than I made myself almost cry, I would be fired. Just like that. I can't expect to keep acting like a child and expecting people to go along with it, I need to learn to force myself to work. Its so hard to work when you don't feel good, but I never feel good. I just feel mediocre most of the time and shitty the rest of the time.
I don't know what to do, and that makes me really worried. I still have a lot of work to do right now, but it is hard to focus. Advice?