Letting it all out...

[ZayKayWill]

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[fixmybrokenmind]

Hey ZayKayWill thanks for opening up. As much as anxiety and depression can be linked, this sounds a lot more like depression to me. Adderall is notorious for this side effect as it can hammer your dopamine levels.

As much as I would love to help I simply cannot suggest anything besides seeing a psychologist if you are feeling suicidal. However, I have been there. I have seen places so dark I didn't see the point in living and I pulled through (and enjoy life again) so hang on tight!

Consider opening up to your friends, support is so extremely crucial at this point in your life.

Do not apologize for seeking help! That is the entire purpose of these forums. I wish you all the best!

[ZayKayWill]

This Post Has Been Edited

[Teafrenzy]

Hi Z

You have to accept this as just being anxiety and depression. I don't think it is due to adderall withdrawl. It may have caused the initial problems, but I think you perpetuated them with excessive worry.

Look at me, I'm 43 years old and unmarried and my anxiety was preventing me from holding or getting a job so I had to live at home to save money. (At 43!). There was a lot to be depressed about. But every day I worked myself up to feel better. I'm really starting to get there now. Today was my best day of recovery yet. You can do it!

[gypsylee]

Hey again :)

You probably just have an "addictive personality", which goes hand in hand with anxiety/depression. I've struggled with substance abuse from about 15yo (I'm 43 now). My biggest demon was alcohol, which I ended up in ICU for a week because of (acute pancreatitis). I've knocked that on the head pretty much but still take benzos and opiates (oxycodone).

My brother died almost 3 years ago from a heroin overdose - he had the same addictive nature (with anxiety/depression) but he was much more "normal" on the surface, which actually ended up being his demise because he hid his drug use - so instead of being treated by doctors he got stuff on the black market, which is how a lot of overdoses happen because the strength of something like heroin varies a lot.

Anyway, being honest with yourself (and us) is a huge step :) I dare say if my brother had done the same he'd still be here.

Gypsy x