Very fearful

[Kati218]

Any advice would be great.

I am struggling with some health issues. Any time a chronic issue comes up I become extremely fearful. I am single, feel like I don't have a strong friend base and feel alone.

I start to feel like, I'm going to always be alone...I mean no one wants to be with me now, why when I'm sick? I don't want to live in a facility.

So many things that go on in my head.

[salvator here]

Keep writing here and maybe it could help you even if you don't always get a reply. Anything happen in particular recently causing these things in your head?

Yes, its hard being alone especially when you are going through health issues. I was hospitalized late last year and also briefly this year. I had not even 1 person come to see me and the doctors found that troubling and odd that I have no friends, maybe I wanted it that way, I can't tell sometimes. People have always let me down when I needed them the most so I've learned to there is only one person that you can rely on, and that is yourself!

Try to work on your self-esteem and self-image, because its actually easy to become a needy person and I'd bet that is not at all what you want (I certainly don't). I would settle for fair-weather friends going forward.

Be extremely cautious about that negative self talk though. Remember, saying "I'm going to always be alone" it totally NOT the affirmation to feed your mind - try just the opposite and feed your mind positive affirmations. I'm still learning and struggling with this myself. For years I used to say to myself "what a loser I am" and its hard to break that cycle.

That being said.. have you family you can trust and rely? Its sad, but, we can sometimes chase away friends when confiding in them about our issues. I've always stood by people when they were in crisis or needed support and my friendships were always one-sided because when I needed support they were nowhere to be found and I'll never beg for friendship anymore.

Good luck and try be optimistic :)

[barbimay]

Hi Kati218
I too suffer from chronic serious health issues (my docs even use the word terminal), which makes dealing with anxiety even harder especially since a side effect of the meds I take is anxiety! Is there a support group you can join for one of your ailments where you can connect with others with similar health conditions, preferably face to face? You say you dont want to live in a facility....do you mean something like supported care? It seems like that is anxiety talking. One of my greatest fears is the fear of fear itself. As for feeling alone, I believe when we are anxious or depressed we feel this even stronger perhaps than we usually would, and a lot of us experience those feelings. Have you tried reaching out to the friends you do have? If not, why, do you fear their judgement? this is one of my issues, and people then have no idea...they think all is well. A hard one I know...sometimes we would just prefer to have the benefit of the doubt. Do you have any family members close by? Have you spoken to a therapist? I hope today is a better day. cheers

[barbimay]

Salvator that is sad that no one came to hospital. Were you in for a short time and not many people knew? I like reading your posts, you sound like someone who has good insight. I hope you continue going forward. It is hard to break the cycle of fear/thoughts. I am trying to do that now after years of escaping them. Hope today is a good day for you
cheers

[salvator here]

Thank you so much barbimay for your kind words and support. I'm okay though and I know may sound strange, but it was for the best really, I needed alone time(s) to reflect upon myself. It was a very good day today and can't complain at all. I wish the best for you going forward as well.

Hopefully we'll hear from Kati218 soon :)