Panick attack at therapy (please help)

[Gents]

Hey guys I want to make this as clear and brief as possible. Recently I've suffered from really bad anxiety, and depression, and bad panick attacks. I decided I was going to do everything in my power to over come this, I went from crying everyday, having panick attacks, constant nervousness , feeling lost, etc. to now where I wake up early morning and do everything in my power to over come this. I wake up write down my goals, work on my online courses hard, listen to motivational tapes during this time (it makes me feel better) and with doing this everything in my life is starting to be better. I only fear that this is what I have to do in order not to get depressed, that I have to obsessively work on myself in order for the darkness to stay away.
Today was my second therapy session we talked about mindfullness which I already know lots about. I felt a sense of judgement while telling what I do everyday in order to have a normal day. We dug deep into my passed which placed me back to when I had really bad anorexia when I was 11 or 12. I brought myself so far back there it started to make me feel uncomfortable she said we didn't have to talk about it but I insisted as I felt if she knew more about she would be able to help more. I felt something come over that I haven't felt in months, I started to extremely feel my depersonalization, shortness of breath, nervousness, just the most amount of anxiety. I had to tell her that I had to leave and I went out for a walk outside and eventually within an hour felt better which is big for me because they used to last a lot longer.
I went to the library after and started to listen to my motivational speakers and worked on what I needed to do, I find that unlike before this panick attack didn't steal the life inside me. I know my therapist isn't judging me but I also feel like she doesn't think its normal how I have to stay so driven in order to have an "OK" day. Ive made so much progress on my own I'm just nervous that Im going to go back and either she's going to try and focus on why I need to stay so motivated (she says I'm hard on myself) or that Im going to have another panick attack.
Is it normal to feel this sort of panick attack after bringing someone back to an eating disorder or tragic event. Im terrified to see her again now but Im also terrified that the only way to have a normal day is to wake up and put 100% into making progress in life.

[fixmybrokenmind]

Hey Gents you are absolutely on the right track and it is great to see you are taking the necessary steps. In my experience the mind is like a muscle and as you experience more good days they will start to outweight the bad. You will find what works for you and what doesn't and negativity will be easier to cast away.

Many people break down in therapy, you are getting to the core of your personal issues it can bring out some heavy emotions. She does this for a living, she probably see's that happen on a daily basis.

On another note, you do not know her or owe her anything, if she makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason besides doing her job, find a new therapist!

[Randomize]

Hi Gents. It's good that you went to see a therapist! You should be proud of that. I suffered from panic attacks a few years ago and developed general anxiety disorder (saw a few therapists over the years).

It's not unusual to keep busy. Some people go watch a movie, exercise, play video games, etc. to take their mind of things. For people like us, we obsess on a particular activity and convince ourselves that we now feel "safe" because of our rituals. If you haven't already, you should tell your therapist/counselor that you suffer from panic attacks. You should tell him/her to guide you if you are feeling panicky during a session. The best way to re-tune that "fight or flight" response is to be uncomfortable. Your therapist will show you how irrational your thoughts are as it happens (or help you with meditation techniques or re-force you not to judge your thoughts). Therapists are there not to judge, but I completely understand feeling uncomfortable when talking to a stranger. It's also a good idea to tell him/her how you feel.