needingtounderstand
01-23-2017, 04:54 PM
I had posted back in October regarding someone that I love dealing with Anxiety and depression. Last year was a horrible year Stuff happened last year with him in his personal life he needed to deal with. At first he seemed ok with it. Relieved in fact and talked about us moving forward with our relationship, then he slowly started to turn. He became distant. He works out of town and our main line of communication is texts. He would respond to me, but not to any text where there was emotion.
He would even block me for a period of time. He says he is dead inside even though he states he still loves me. I did not want to give up.
So I am still looking for help from the group. I just don't know if he is playing me or what. What is happening with him or how he is acting is so foreign to me. I will point out, neither of us is kids. He is 40 - just turned 40 and I am 48. Its not like we are teenagers.
We used to be so incredibly close, in fact he was the one that pushed for me to lower my walls and let him in. We said we were soulmates, corny as it sounds, and we are not kids. He told me once, no one had ever fought for him before. he used to call me his wife when were together, even though we were not married. I new he always needed constant validation and reassurance as he told me how he was verbally abused by his mother as a child.
The last year has been hell, him slowly pushing me away, saying he feels dead inside. All he can say is that his feelings have not changed, but he can't or won't say I love you. I asked him straight out in September when he seemed a bit more talkative, if he still loved me and he said yes, very much.
It's been a year since we actually saw each other and he had asked that I not contact him at all for the past 2 months (Nov and December). I did try, but I did send texts saying merry Xmas and happy new year to which he did not respond.
In Jan we did connect again, he actually agreed to meet for lunch and that lead to us physical again that day which shocked me. I saw the person I knew before. I gave me hope that he had turned a corner. We met up again the next week in the same fashion. With that visit, he told me he was going to try to come off his med's which scared me because I did not want to go back to where we were before since he is getting ready to leave town again for a while for work. He is on 20 milligrams of Cipralex and 300 mg Wellbutrin.
I sent him a text of some things to watch out for and not to wean off too quickly. He did not respond. I sent him a nice good morning the next day, and he did not respond. I texted him in the afternoon asking if we were good - that was it - "We good?"
Back to he has to sign off cause I am pressuring him. Then says it was one of the "rules" he put in place to not to ask if things are ok, that I did not honor his request and that he said he would tell me if anything was wrong and if I ask again, it would be the end as it is not healthy. I told him this is what adults do if they think they have offended anyone and a simple " you bet" would have sufficed.
I don't know if he actually believes this or is just having a fun old time playing with my emotions. I cannot believe the incredibly sensitive sweet man I knew is this guy. He has to know that the fact he was physical with me again meant something - I told him as much. He has to know that him telling me his feelings have not changed meant something
Please, anyone with anxiety, is this normal. Is it part of anxiety and/or depression to get so worked up over a simple question or am I being played by a complete narcissist. He is a brilliant and intelligent man. Travels the world consulting. It is so had to believe the man I knew for the past 5 years and this guy are the same. I know I should probably just move on, but it is hard when you have such deep feelings for someone.
I don't know what it is like to deal with anxiety so is this "normal" if you have anxiety?
He would even block me for a period of time. He says he is dead inside even though he states he still loves me. I did not want to give up.
So I am still looking for help from the group. I just don't know if he is playing me or what. What is happening with him or how he is acting is so foreign to me. I will point out, neither of us is kids. He is 40 - just turned 40 and I am 48. Its not like we are teenagers.
We used to be so incredibly close, in fact he was the one that pushed for me to lower my walls and let him in. We said we were soulmates, corny as it sounds, and we are not kids. He told me once, no one had ever fought for him before. he used to call me his wife when were together, even though we were not married. I new he always needed constant validation and reassurance as he told me how he was verbally abused by his mother as a child.
The last year has been hell, him slowly pushing me away, saying he feels dead inside. All he can say is that his feelings have not changed, but he can't or won't say I love you. I asked him straight out in September when he seemed a bit more talkative, if he still loved me and he said yes, very much.
It's been a year since we actually saw each other and he had asked that I not contact him at all for the past 2 months (Nov and December). I did try, but I did send texts saying merry Xmas and happy new year to which he did not respond.
In Jan we did connect again, he actually agreed to meet for lunch and that lead to us physical again that day which shocked me. I saw the person I knew before. I gave me hope that he had turned a corner. We met up again the next week in the same fashion. With that visit, he told me he was going to try to come off his med's which scared me because I did not want to go back to where we were before since he is getting ready to leave town again for a while for work. He is on 20 milligrams of Cipralex and 300 mg Wellbutrin.
I sent him a text of some things to watch out for and not to wean off too quickly. He did not respond. I sent him a nice good morning the next day, and he did not respond. I texted him in the afternoon asking if we were good - that was it - "We good?"
Back to he has to sign off cause I am pressuring him. Then says it was one of the "rules" he put in place to not to ask if things are ok, that I did not honor his request and that he said he would tell me if anything was wrong and if I ask again, it would be the end as it is not healthy. I told him this is what adults do if they think they have offended anyone and a simple " you bet" would have sufficed.
I don't know if he actually believes this or is just having a fun old time playing with my emotions. I cannot believe the incredibly sensitive sweet man I knew is this guy. He has to know that the fact he was physical with me again meant something - I told him as much. He has to know that him telling me his feelings have not changed meant something
Please, anyone with anxiety, is this normal. Is it part of anxiety and/or depression to get so worked up over a simple question or am I being played by a complete narcissist. He is a brilliant and intelligent man. Travels the world consulting. It is so had to believe the man I knew for the past 5 years and this guy are the same. I know I should probably just move on, but it is hard when you have such deep feelings for someone.
I don't know what it is like to deal with anxiety so is this "normal" if you have anxiety?