Panicking over ALS

[DizzyPixie]

Hello!

The last few days have been a rollercoaster for me, since my health anxiety came back stronger. Firstly I was worrying about brain tumors because of a strange headache and nausea, but both subsided and that fear went away. But before even it was 100% gone, I started fearing that I have ALS. My right thumb felt numb and weak for a couple of minutes and I looked it up on the internet. Surprise, I remembered ALS. This happened like 3-4 days ago. Since then, I experience symptoms similar to ALS, so similar that I have a hard time attributing them to anxiety. My hands feel weak, especially my fingers, and my legs and arms feel stiff and tired. I also think I have a little drop on my right foot (I already have some issues due to an accident but I don't think it ever was that bad).

I was thinking that maybe my hands simply go numb and paralyze a bit because of the cold (because the weakness gets MUCH worse when I get outside in the cold weather) but I don't think I have ever experienced that because of the cold before, to that extent. I had trouble with the keys, the fork, the knife, and even with typing at the beginning of this post. I'm trying to think that it's the just the cold, my anxiety which makes me notice everything, plus my natural clumsiness, but I can't convince myself. Plus, I'm afraid that I will fool myself by believing it's all anxiety, while it may be something worse. I'm thinking that maybe I had some symptoms before but didn't quite pay attention to them.

I'm 21 and female which make my chances of getting ALS very slim. I would be VERY unlucky if I got it now. Still, it's a possibility, isn't it?
I'm panicking so much, please help.

[DizzyPixie]

I'm even too worried to go to the doctor because I'm afraid of what he may say. Also, he might not take my seriously if he sees I'm hypochondriac.

[aml0017]

I am sorry you are having a hard time but - - STAY OFF GOOGLE!! Google is not a doctor and neither are you. So your thumb felt numb a little while, so what? Numbness, tingling, stiffness of fingers is normal for anxiety, especially once you start becoming hyper aware of it. In any case, why would it necessarily mean you have als? Only a dr can even diagnose that.

You just admitted you were worried about a brain tumor because of some headaches but they went away when your fear about it subsided. That is your first clue that this is all in your head. Write down all the fears you have had recently that just went away. Remind yourself that it is anxiety everytime you start to freak out. Don't keep believing the lies anxiety is telling you.

[DizzyPixie]

Thanks for the advice... Now I'm staying off google because I'm afraid to search more. My fingers don't feel stiff, they feel weak... So do my arms, from the elbow to the wrist, sometimes my legs too. I had difficulty using keys but I thought that was because my hand was freezing from the cold, the cold makes the weakness much worse.
The clue is that the fear came first, symptoms second, and then I tried to think of possible symptoms that I didn't notice before the fear came in, which is quite typical for health anxiety, I think. Still, the symptoms feel so real, so intense and so unprecedented that I can't stop thinking the worst.

[DizzyPixie]

I know it sounds ridiculous but I locked and unlocked my door several times, I did push-ups and jumped up and down, opened and closed bottles of water, and now everything seems fine. My mind is playing tricks.

[aml0017]

Good! It's not ridiculous at all. Whatever it takes to get the rational part of your brain to conquer the lies anxiety is telling you. I totally understand how difficult it is when your body is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, it is a very real reaction. But you must always keep reminding yourself that there is no real danger, it is only in your mind. It sounds simplistic but it is way too easy to give in to the anxiety. I have GAD. I don't particularly have health related anxiety but I have in the past. There was a terrible period when I couldn't sleep for fear my heart was going to stop. Eventually I'd just say "whatever I don't care... If I die, I die" . I didn't truly mean it really but I took all the power away from the anxiety. I don't try to fight it or ignore it, I just say whatever, so I'm anxious, it'll pass soon. Then I just continue with my life. It's not a cure, but I am no longer crippled by the anxiety anymore. Hope you can get past this soon!

[DizzyPixie]

Thank you!
Actually my fear has been going on and off... Yesterday I woke up just fine. Then I started feeling that my fingers and wrists were weak and clumsy again and my fear came back. Then I relaxed and watched a movie and it went away. I thought it was gone for good, that I had understood the mechanism of health anxiety and that it couldn't affect me anymore, and I slept peacefully. After all, I had just cooked and changed the bed sheets, and typed long messages quickly with no issues, and concluded it was all in my head. But today I woke up with my hands feeling weird again, I tried to play the guitar and my fingers wouldn't cooperate well, I'm slow at typing, I tried to play with a pen in my fingers as I usually do when I'm studying and I couldn't, my fingers were weak and shaky, it was falling, and I'm not sure if anxiety could cause such real feeling symptoms. Also my legs feel unstable. I'm sorry for the whining but this is very scary and I don't know when it's going to end.

[Kirk]

My former co-workers mother had ALS and her first symptom was her legs suddenly gave out while she was waiting at a bus stop and she had trouble getting up and things went
downhill from their. She was in her 70's. You are also pretty young to get ALS, which typically hits older individuals.

[DizzyPixie]

Yes, you're probably right, also I wouldn't feel "normal" from time to time. I just can't get it off my mind, it's stuck in there. I hope that as time passes, I'll see that's not it. :)
Thanks again.

[Kirk]

You will get over this and eventually realize you don't have ALS.

[DizzyPixie]

Today I was feeling better, although I still had some finger weakness, and I thought I was finally over it. I was happy and proud of myself. In the evening though, my hands started feeling really weak and uncoordinated, my fingers were "locking" and "popping" instead of moving smoothly, and I started to worry very much again. I had an online conversation with my best friend, and I decided to tell him about my fears. He replied that I'm just fine, but if I really was ill he would take me on a long trip with the trans-Siberian (it's my dream to do that trip) and then I could commit suicide to die easier, and probably he wouldn't stand the sorrow and would kill himself too. He had good intentions but he upset me so much that I cried a lot and now there's no way I can sleep.

[Kirk]

Try to remember the more you think and dwell about your real or imagined symptoms, the worse you will feel.
Try to repeat the phrase to yourself, I am fine and healthy when you are feeling poorly.

[Anne1221]

Don't ever be afraid of what a doctor will say or think. They work for you. You pay them, they are not paying you. So they are there to serve you. I"m one of those that is not afraid of what the doctor will say or think. I only want them to tell me I'm okay and as soon as I drive off, oh my gosh, I feel so much better. They have seen and heard everything so who cares what they think? Just get reassurance if you need it.

[threelittlbirds]

I'm been in your shoes, DizzyPixie, For almost a year, I suffered from severe anxiety due to ALS fears. I had every symptom in the book, including exactly what you described and then some. I was convinced I had ALS. I remember days when my anxiety would spike - my fingers were weak, my forearms were tight and sore. My muscles twitched all over. Nevermind that some of those symptoms have nothing to do with ALS, my crazy mind had taken over. I went to multiple neurologists and had a battery of tests, but it took me a long time to accept that I didn't have ALS. Trust me when I say my symptoms -- like yours -- were real. My fingers did feel weak and were slow to respond. My muscles twitched. But it was all caused by anxiety and a misunderstood-yet-totally-harmless condition called BFS.

Anxiety can cause very real physical symptoms. That's difficult for some people to accept, but it's true. Every now and then, you'll get distracted and the symptoms will disappear. That's a telltale sign of anxiety. ALS is an extremely rare condition, even more so considering your young age. ALS weakness is not subtle, it is profound. It does not come and go. If it's causing you anxiety, you should visit your doctor. But hopefully my story -- since I had very similar, even worse, symptoms -- gives you some reassurance. Because many years have gone by, my symptoms have faded away, and I'm still here. :)

[DizzyPixie]

Just got in to say thank you for the patience and advice one more time, and tell I got over it, finally. :)
I'm going to post another thread about an unexpected thing that helped me a lot.

[aml0017]

That is great Dizzy! Thanks for coming back and saying that "hey, the fear passed and I'm ok now". A lot of us come on here when we are in the midst of anxiety to vent, but don't always come back to say that we are better now. It is a great thing for other sufferers to hear and gives them hope, especially the younger members and people new to the anxiety experience.