benbecker
01-06-2017, 11:47 AM
Hello, I think I have been having Anxiety attacks. I should start by saying, I'm 18 and I haven't ever really had any real trouble with my mental heath (like this) before. I'm dating a lovely girl with really severe depression, she has attempted suicide many times, and she tells me that shes thinking about it like all the time. The other night she told me that for sure she was going to do it, her parents were going out of town and she was going to hang herself in her basement. when she told me this I freaked out (I feel like that's a normal response) I was having a hard time breathing, and I threw up a little bit but mostly just like an over all panic.
I knew I couldn't let her do it, so I went over to her house and convinced her to come to the E.R., I didn't know what else to do but I knew I had to get her to a place where at least someone could watch her. She seemed to think it was kind of a joke, "this happens to me all the time" and "Really, it's OKAY" type stuff. all the meanwhile I can barely look at her because every time I do I can't help but think about me finding her dead in the basement. I waited with her from about midnight to 4 or 5 in the morning, when she was taken away and she kept saying she was fine and that it wasn't that bad but when they took her away she grabbed my hand really tight and wouldn't let go and I think shes really actually freaking out and that worries me a lot.
from the E.R. She was admitted to a behavioral hospital a few days ago, and shes been there since. I get to call her for about an hour a day and She seems like shes is doing a lot better, I get to go and see her this Saturday and hopefully things will go well. But that's all basically just why I think I'm feeling this way
'
I can't sleep at all, I was up for almost 3 whole days until I finally crashed for a few hours but It's not a normal thing for me and that's really concerning me. Also I don't want to eat, I eat very little to begin with but since this all happend I feel like puking all the time, I have this really intense like, lightness in my chest and I get light headed. I've been totally distracted in school and I have barely been going at all.
I realize this is probably mostly normal behavior under the circumstances but I'm really having an awful time and all I really think about is what I can do to "Save" my girlfriend like it sounds really cheesy and lame but honestly I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want this thing to consume me or anything.
I might ad, and sorry if this is rambling. (Ive never used a website like this so Im a little foggy on general etiquette) My girlfriend is in a really bad way, and Im really concerned mostly about what the future looks like for her, Like I know that going to the hospital, even for a few weeks isnt going to 100% change the way she feels, its got to come from her right. Like its got to be what she wants and right now, from what shes saying, she doesn't want to change.
I feel totally selfish for even thinking about stupid things like our relationship, but Im worried she won't be the same when she gets back and that things might drift apart and Im obviously really invested in her and I dunno Im in a bad way I guess.
I don't know what to do, honestly though, writing this out seemed to help a lot. I just feel like I'm kind of Trapped between being able to do anything, I feel like a turtle on its back you know and any tips or pointers would be so helpful.
Thank the lot of you,
-Ben
I knew I couldn't let her do it, so I went over to her house and convinced her to come to the E.R., I didn't know what else to do but I knew I had to get her to a place where at least someone could watch her. She seemed to think it was kind of a joke, "this happens to me all the time" and "Really, it's OKAY" type stuff. all the meanwhile I can barely look at her because every time I do I can't help but think about me finding her dead in the basement. I waited with her from about midnight to 4 or 5 in the morning, when she was taken away and she kept saying she was fine and that it wasn't that bad but when they took her away she grabbed my hand really tight and wouldn't let go and I think shes really actually freaking out and that worries me a lot.
from the E.R. She was admitted to a behavioral hospital a few days ago, and shes been there since. I get to call her for about an hour a day and She seems like shes is doing a lot better, I get to go and see her this Saturday and hopefully things will go well. But that's all basically just why I think I'm feeling this way
'
I can't sleep at all, I was up for almost 3 whole days until I finally crashed for a few hours but It's not a normal thing for me and that's really concerning me. Also I don't want to eat, I eat very little to begin with but since this all happend I feel like puking all the time, I have this really intense like, lightness in my chest and I get light headed. I've been totally distracted in school and I have barely been going at all.
I realize this is probably mostly normal behavior under the circumstances but I'm really having an awful time and all I really think about is what I can do to "Save" my girlfriend like it sounds really cheesy and lame but honestly I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want this thing to consume me or anything.
I might ad, and sorry if this is rambling. (Ive never used a website like this so Im a little foggy on general etiquette) My girlfriend is in a really bad way, and Im really concerned mostly about what the future looks like for her, Like I know that going to the hospital, even for a few weeks isnt going to 100% change the way she feels, its got to come from her right. Like its got to be what she wants and right now, from what shes saying, she doesn't want to change.
I feel totally selfish for even thinking about stupid things like our relationship, but Im worried she won't be the same when she gets back and that things might drift apart and Im obviously really invested in her and I dunno Im in a bad way I guess.
I don't know what to do, honestly though, writing this out seemed to help a lot. I just feel like I'm kind of Trapped between being able to do anything, I feel like a turtle on its back you know and any tips or pointers would be so helpful.
Thank the lot of you,
-Ben