my fear of brain tumors

[DizzyPixie]

Hello everybody!

I'm 21 years old and I've had anxiety issues for pretty much my whole life. Sometimes they were bad, sometimes totally debilitating, sometimes they were limited to some minor fears that I'd control fairly easily. For about 3 years now I was feeling fine, having a good time, being active, traveling a lot, but since, like, two months ago, my fear of death has come back stronger, with no apparent reason. I have a heightened interest in spirituality and religion but I'm not sure if this initiated my fear again or if my fear made me look into those things. Anyway, it's also my last year at the university and I have big plans of what's coming next! However, as always for me, great hopes and plans come with a great fear of things going bad. What if I get really sick or die before I manage to do all the things I wanna do, or before I find my purpose in life? What if I simply make wrong decisions? I just have a feeling that something very very very very bad is going to happen, because things are going too well.

Three days ago I was on the mountains and when I got back I started having shooting pains in my head, a kind I'd never felt before. Every, I don't know, one or two minutes, it felt like someone stabbed me, on the left side of my head, not on the temple but inside, from almost the top, to behind my ear, or even to my palate. It was very sharp and scary. Also I had an overall sense of pressure in my head. I made the mistake to look it up on the internet, and the first thing to pop up was cancer. I managed to sleep and the next day the recurrent sharp pain had gone away, but there was a mild, dull, continuous one. Sometimes I still get some pain there, like the first one but way more mild. I can't get it out of my head that it may be cancer. Also I looked at other symptoms and I think I have some too, but I don't know if it's a tumor indeed or just anxiety. Because anxiety sometimes makes me nauseous or lightheaded. These days I'm also often tired but I guess it may be my blood iron again. 2 days ago, at night, I also had tingling on my left fingertips, another thing I hadn't ever got before. I'm obsessing over symptoms, noticing every sensation, anxiety is driving me crazy.

Any advice?
Thanks

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. I have known people who have had benign and malignant brain tumors and the consistent
symptom they all had was progessively worsening headaches. The symptoms you are having seem to me to
be related to anxiety.

[DizzyPixie]

Thanks! Yes, what I describe is certainly not that, but I can't stop thinking "what if", because it's the first time I've had it. But still, it was "the first" time many times I thought something really bad was going to happen. Thank you for the reply, I really appreciate it.

[Fashoom]

That dread, that "something very bad is going to happen to me" obsessive thought is familiar to me and to many on the forum (perhaps most), because it's such a classic anxiety symptom. That is, generalized fear of an unknown future. Of course the future IS unknown, so learning to react calmly instead of with panic to that idea when it passes through our heads (which of course it will, it passes through everyone's head) is central to getting a handle on anxiety.

You said you've had anxiety issues most of your life, sometimes debilitating, I'm really sorry to hear that. Have you tried CBT or other techniques, with or without a therapist?

[lolfeg123]

To reassure you a little more, I too felt like I was getting a stroke because of pressure and sharp pain in my head. I went for a CT scan and it turned out to be fine - thereby deducing anxiety as the culprit.

[laura1989]

hi dizzypixie,
it sounds like you had a great few years! i've always found that keeping myself very busy kept my anxiety at bay. it's like i don't have time to obsess and ruminate over my fears. maybe your routine has slowed down a bit lately and that's what's triggered your fears again. that's usually my experience with it anyways. as for the brain tumour fears - i've been there too! many many times. it's actually a reoccuring theme of mine as i've always suffered with migraines, so of course, i've often feared that they were a sign of something more sinister. i have absolutely experienced what you describe with the random shooting pains as well, they seem to come out of nowhere and are gone as quick as they came. the more i focused on them, the more i felt the other things you describe - the sensation of pressure, a dull headache etc. i think these are all signs of the anxiety becoming worse, and the symptoms themselves become worse the more we focus on them.

[Kirk]

My physician told me that tension in your neck, shoulders or back can cause headaches and
odd head sensations. I remember in 2007, I started getting these weird sensations like I felt tingling
on the top of my head. I had a brain MRI on Halloween 2007 and it turned out to be nothing.

[DizzyPixie]

Thanks for all the replies! I had written an answer but it doesn't show, maybe my computer's problem. Anyway, yes, I've been to psychologists a few times, but it's only for a couple of meetings, when my anxiety gets worse. I don't have much money, and when I'm feeling better I want to believe that this was it, and I wouldn't ever need help with anxiety again. But sooner or later... meh...
And now I'm no longer afraid of cancer. But I'm afraid of other health issues. I wonder when will this wave of anxiety pass, so I can go on with my life.

Does anybody have sore muscles? My arms, legs, back, chest, all hurt like I've exercised even though I didn't do anything. They're sore and feel weak, which makes me worry about ALS now, and I'm constantly testing my strength.

[Kirk]

Brain tumors are also pretty rare overall when you compare their occurence to other diseases.