Extreme anxiety/depression over Trump and world events

[jenkyleg]

Hi guys,

This is my first post here. What follows is kind of a messy stream of consciousness. I'm writing this more for catharsis than anything else. It feels good to type this out and shoot it into the void. OK, here goes:

As the title implies, I have some pretty bad anxiety and depression about the direction the world is headed in right now. In short: I worry Donald Trump will erode civil rights, crash the nation's economy and very likely get the U.S. into a war with China (or, hell, even Russia) that will inevitably turn nuclear. I live about 10 miles from Washington D.C., so I believe in such a conflict I would die a painful but possibly not immediate death.

For the record, I opposed Trump vehemently during his campaign (though I was not wild about Clinton, either) and thought electing him would bring about catastrophe and disorder. I fear Trump -- with his irrational behavior, denying intelligence briefings, using violent language and rhetoric -- just isn't up for the job if things really get crazy. And, unfortunately, things seem to be ramping up across the world. All it takes is one spark to ignite the fire. This has happened before. History repeats itself.

When Trump questions the One China policy, for instance, he risks undermining years of uneasy peace between two nuclear superpowers. And for what? What does he stand to gain? There is no upside to angering Beijing this way. He gets nothing in return. I don't trust his ability to lead. He has poor judgement.

Sure, we can elect someone else in four years, but that's FOUR YEARS. Do we really have that long before he and his insane advisors kill us all?

So, my anxiety: I fear that war approaches and Trump does nothing to slow it down. While I didn't like much of what Obama did, I appreciated his even temper and cool head. I never thought World War 3 would start under his watch. But when I see that Trump has tweeted some petty insult or made some awful baseless remark, it makes me feel like he's woefully unprepared to handle foreign policy. Diplomacy requires precision and tact. He doesn't seem to have that. He's worse than Reagan. Worse than Bush.

The president-elect makes me feel tiny and helpless. It makes me feel like he's gambling with my life and my country.

I'm incredibly depressed. I alternate between feeling like I'm going to die in the next year to panicking over how I can stop it from happening. I've considered moving to another country far from here (Australia?) or buying a homestead in the middle of nowhere and building an underground fallout shelter there. I have money saved but I'm ready to withdraw it all. What good is my savings account going to do when the end comes? I've packed a bag full of food, water and supplies in case the end approaches rapidly. I've considered buying a gun, but not for my own protection. When the missiles fly, I want to kill myself immediately.

I feel like a dead man walking. I cry a lot now. I am unhappy and irritable all the time. Eating is hard. Sleeping is difficult. Work is impossible.

I should note that my therapist has been very helpful. She's advised I take up meditation (trying) and possibly look into taking medication. I agree with her expert opinion. Still, I still can't help but fear the worst.

Anyone out there willing to talk me down or provide a little insight? It would be greatly appreciated.

[Ponder]

I live in Australia and happy to roll out the red carpet. :)

I feel the same way about Trump but really glad he got in. The world needs to hurry up and reach a precipice. It's only during such times that any of us seem healthier choices, or at the very least reach some kind of end. The world will not continue much longer as is.

I don't agree with medication as I know healing can take place without it. In fact I know that the taking of medication only leads to more complications, weakens an already crippled will and bla bla bla.

However you will meet many in here as well as in the world who love taking meds as a form of escape.

You can always take the medication route and find out for yourself.

Meditation not Medication (http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?35835-Meditation-Not-Medication) is the way I ended up going. Since you're asking, that is what I suggest. If you don't like it ... take the escape. I certainly won't judge you. Just saying what works for me and stating my view. How's your diet? You getting enough Sleep? Is there anything you can do to change your environment? Have you tried therapy such as just talking? How about self hypnosis or reading up on the power of the mind? Tired Bio Feed back using sound waves to alter brain states over a period of time ... there a many things one can do other than simply popping pills. Alas ... the popping of pills is much quicker, takes less effort and will always be recommended by people in white coats as they be nothing more than people on strings attached to that machine that's led you to thinking the way you do. Medication is no more to me than the pinnacle of yet another commodity that's made specifically for putting in to tubes.

Sadly tubes is what most of now be. We went from watching the tube to becoming one. Nonetheless it is possible to unroll even when after having been on med.

I'm sure you will work out what is best.

Welcome to the forum ... I really don't know anything and as fragile as you.

All the best.

[jenkyleg]

Thanks for your reply. Australia seems to be a nice place!

These are my worst fears, but generally the people I talk to are reassuring. After all, Trump seems to love money and power more than anything. Why would he get into a war just to throw all that away? He also doesn't strike me as the ideological type. There are some historical comparisons to what's happening now.

Nixon, for example, had some of the same characteristics Trump has. He was also petty, jealous, paranoid and treacherous, though not in public view as Trump seems to be. And Nixon, like Trump, sought to erode rights and defeat political opponents by illegal means.

And then there was Reagan. In his first few months in office, he declared the Soviet Union an "evil empire" and vowed to defeat it by any means necessary. He also vowed to increase nuclear and military spending. It seemed at the time like he was totally in favor of nuclear war.

Trump seems at least to be able to work with others so long as they give him a "fair deal." The question is, I guess, is his idea of a fair deal at all universal? We shall see.

I also do have some hope about my fears. So, story time:

I've had anxiety and depression my entire life. It has manifested itself in many different ways over time. When I was younger, I dreaded earthquakes and tornadoes or cried my eyes out worrying about the fact that my parents would one day die (they are still both alive, for the record). As I got older, I agonized over my future and my career.

About three years ago, I had a similar kind of breakdown to the one I'm having now. Not about world events, though -- about cancer.

I had a very real health scare that ended up being nothing, but it brought out a deep and striking fear of death and disease. For months after my initial scare, I was convinced I had SOME kind of cancer. I'd sit around sobbing and counting my days. I wouldn't want to plan ahead because, well, why? What's the point? I knew I was a dead man walking. I thought I had stomach cancer. Or melanoma. Or lymphoma. Or bone cancer. Once, I thought I had a cancerous mole on my eyeball. My fears jumped around week by week, but there was always a constant: I just knew I was dying of cancer.

Well, the weeks turned into months, which then eventually turned into years. And I never died, so I just stopped worrying, bit by bit.

I mention this because I SUPPOSE Trump may not bring about the apocalypse as I fear. And the longer we go without nuclear war, the better I assume I will get. Hopefully.

When I thought I had cancer, I posted on a forum for health anxiety sufferers. It was a great help to me, especially because I could look back at my previous posts and say, "hey, that was almost half a year ago! I'm still here!" and it was very cathartic. Hopefully I can use these posts the same way.

[Fashoom]

Yes, journaling/writing are great ways to deal w/ anxiety. Posting to a forum like this is similar. You get all that internalized fear out there, and others like you read it and empathize. We do empathize. Health anxiety is very common, and so is 'the world is doomed' anxiety. We can't control world events or ultimately our health, just influence them in little ways by doing our best. Then we need to step out of the way and allow the universe to unfold as it will. It's the truth, and we will feel better by letting go of the need to control that which we can't.

[jenkyleg]

Thanks for your reply, Fashoom. This is good advice. My therapist says similar things.

[Fashoom]

jenky,

have you tried it? pick one thing you are used to trying to control, like dealing w/ a utility company that's screwed up your service, or a driver on the road that's giving you pain, (or anything else that works for you). try just saying "okay, i can't control other people, so i'm going to just let this go." then see how you feel compared to the way you are used to.

[magicmarcus]

remember... that even though things seem crazy... the president is not god of the usa... he cannot do whatever he wants whenever he wants... and if he tries... there are checks and balances to make this not happen again... and impeachment if he pulls a double dumbass which is totally possible.

either way... like fashoom said... take wisdom from the stoics and alcoholics (who are often control freaks as i was)

grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change (trump is in office and i don't like that)
courage to change the things i can (my response and good i choose to share with the world)
and the wisdom to know the difference (i probably cant go change trump, and its awful hard to get a game changing job in washington... but i can start a cool group dedicated to doing or rallying about all the things i don't like about trump)

all that needs to happen for evil to prevail is for good men/women to do nothing... but again... take it in moderation... and in stride... and START from a place of contentment.

[jenkyleg]

This is true. I think I worry though because there are many things a president can do without Congress. Plus, it seems like we have legislators who seem to think of him as a rubber stamp.

I also worry that Trump will antagonize countries over Twitter, as silly as that sounds. He seems to want to push China very, very hard. I don't want to go to war and die with that country because of the president's stupid tweets. Can you imagine? What a fate that would be.

[Crinos]

I too have been having terrible anxiety since Trump got elected.

I think part of it is because so many of my friends online are being really doom and gloom, worrying about the worst case scenario about how he's gonna turn the US into a fascist state, and how the Republicans control the government now and are gonna mess everything up for everyone.

To try and assuage my fears I have been doing things to try and help: Signing online petitions against Trump, passing around information on how to effectively organize to oppose him, but I worry if it will be enough.

Really I think what I really need to do is try and disengage from reading political stuff for a while; my main source for that stuff is Tumblr, but I really like that website and it makes it hard to avoid the bad news I keep getting.

[Kirk]

To me they all are one in the same, liars.

[jenkyleg]

So, Trump's recent "arms race" comments have set me off into a nuclear panic. I am now convinced many of us will die in an upcoming nuclear war with China or Russia. He's insane. He surrounds himself with insane people. I cry often over this. As I said in an earlier post, I live about a dozen miles from Washington D.C. and would surely perish in a nuclear attack.

I don't want to die! I'm not even 30 yet. I have nightmares every night about death and nuclear war. Last night, my wife said I was talking in my sleep about it. I had a vivid dream that we were taking shelter from a nuclear bomb. I saw it very clearly -- the missile falling to earth against the blue sky.

Sorry. I hope this post doesn't make anyone else panic, especially on Christmas Eve. It just helps to get these feelings out.

[tirediron]

I think you're worrying about nothing. There are too many checks and balances in place to allow any US President to send us into a nuclear war. China wants no part of a war with the US. Their economy depends on the US too much. As for the arms race, I see it as "sabre rattling" and very little more. I would be far more concerned about a nuclear Iran than any potential US vs China/Russia scenario.

[jenkyleg]

I sure hope so. I know we're closer to nuclear disaster, accidental or otherwise, than at any time in recent history. I hope we're alive to celebrate Christmas Eve for years to come.

[tirediron]

I was in elementary school during the Cuban missile crisis. We had air raid drills, people were building bomb shelters in their yards, there was a lot of fear. My dad was a naval reservist and we were certain he would be called up. I understand your fear. But there have been scary times in the past, and there will be in the future. We have a lot more Christmas Eves in us. You more than me. Peace.

[Crinos]

So, Trump's recent "arms race" comments have set me off into a nuclear panic. I am now convinced many of us will die in an upcoming nuclear war with China or Russia. He's insane. He surrounds himself with insane people. I cry often over this. As I said in an earlier post, I live about a dozen miles from Washington D.C. and would surely perish in a nuclear attack.

I don't want to die! I'm not even 30 yet. I have nightmares every night about death and nuclear war. Last night, my wife said I was talking in my sleep about it. I had a vivid dream that we were taking shelter from a nuclear bomb. I saw it very clearly -- the missile falling to earth against the blue sky.

Sorry. I hope this post doesn't make anyone else panic, especially on Christmas Eve. It just helps to get these feelings out.

Hey don't worry about it.

First of all, I can 100% guarantee if we go to war with anyone, it wont be Russia. Trump is a huge admirer of Putin's, and there is very strong evidence that Putin was behind the hacking of the DNC's emails which led to Hillary losing the election (Which is horrifying for other reasons, but not world ending horrible, at least not yet).

As for China, that's a bit more iffy considering Trump seems bound and determine to piss them off. But China probably doesn't want a nuclear war anymore than anyone (especially since they would probably lose such an exchange badly), its more likely they will just stop trading with us, which will likely wreck our economy.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't worrying about all the Trump stuff, but I had a talk with my dad the other day that reassured me: There are still Democrats on the hill who are gonna stand up to Trump and will keep him from going too far, so he's not gonna become a dictator or rob us blind and head off to Tahiti, and the main thing is you shouldn't worry about things you have no control over.

In any case, if you are feeling nervous and want to do something, there are movements underway to attempt to shut Trump down. Its called Indivisible and basically its the idea to use the same tactics that the Tea Party used against the Obama Administration to keep him from doing any change. I'm not gonna link because I don't know this boards policies on politics yet and I don't want to step on any toes, but if you google "Indivisible guide" you'll find it.

[lolfeg123]

Welcome Jenkyleg

Watching this will reassure you that trump is a safer pick than Hillary when it comes to a potential ww3

https://youtu.be/751e6GHk3Us

[peteski37]

Hi, im from England and like most people with anxiety your over thinking which is hard to shut off. I dont like a lot of the things the USA do but I think Trump is better than Clinton. I don't think any of the big nuclear powers are that stupid to much to lose . like someone said it would be someone smaller or, terrorists. Just my opinon . Happy Holidays

[jenkyleg]

Thanks for the responses, folks. Hope you all had a happy holiday!

I'm not worried Trump will launch a first strike (though, hey, he's said he wants to hit ISIS with a nuke), I'm mostly just afraid eventually Trump will push someone too far and turn a small diplomatic incident into a big one, leading to a war. Then, that war could turn nuclear. I guess China has less long range nukes than Russia, but.... still terrifying. I genuinely worry Trump could end us before his four years are up.

Don't forget -- Putin probably doesn't give a hoot about Trump and is just waiting to double cross him. If he uses Trump's inexperience and invades a country in the baltics... World War III, anyone?

[jenkyleg]

Had another freakout tonight related to these two Trump tweets:

"North Korea just stated that it is in the final stages of developing a nuclear weapon capable of reaching parts of the U.S. It won't happen!"

"China has been taking out massive amounts of money & wealth from the U.S. in totally one-sided trade, but won't help with North Korea. Nice!"

Can you imagine Trump at the helm during the Cuban Missile Crisis? Because it feels like we're headed that way soon, only with China and North Korea vs. the U.S.A.

I feel like this is the year we all die. Anyone else feel that way right now, too?

[tirediron]

I don't. Trump would have reacted very much like Kennedy. Kennedy put a naval blockade around Cuba, stopping and inspecting Soviet vessels headed to Cuban ports. He also demanded that Krushev removal all nuclear weapons from the island. Keeping nuclear ICBM's away from North Korea is the right thing to do. I figure South Korea or Japan would most likely take them out before we did. As for the trade deficit/North Korea comment, it sounds as if he's shaming them for their aggressive one sided trade tactics, and for their refusal to reign in their pet dictator who is threatening the very countries China depends on for trade. I feel you're worrying over nothing.

[aml0017]

Well, I don't really understand this thread...it is all just speculation at this point isn't it? Seems like everyone has their own opinions that follow their own party lines and political affiliations. But I digress...while it is normal to be concerned about current world events the point is the OP is being consumed by these fears, by anxiety over what could possibly happen. These are not necessarily irrational fears but it is still important to distinguish between reality and the catastrophic thinking.

[peteski37]

I feel for you and the way your feeling and I'm sure there are loads of ways to try and deal with these feelings. For me, I just dont bother myself with any news media that's the worst you dont know whats right or wrong I also look at it in away where I'm like there is nothing I can do about it unless I start a revolution.

[Kudzu2]

Sorry to rain on your parade but there are no checks and balances when it comes to nukes. The president is the commander in chief of the armed forces and can launch a strike within minutes against anywhere in the world for any reason. He does not need congressional approval.

[kalamata]

I did have cancer. Trump wants to revoke health care and exclude pre existing conditions. the end of days is the least of my worries. cancer is not an abstract.

[kalamata]

sorry I did not read whole thread. I did not mean to make anything harder for you. I did survive and am well 10 years later. but protesting as well as I can.

[kalamata]

awesome.I am so glad I joined to help my anxiety

[jenkyleg]

Hey guys, sorry, I didn't mean for this to become a political discussion. I'm just nervous about the world right now -- given all the uncertainty among its largest countries, I think that's a bipartisan concern.

I don't think President Trump would get us into nuclear war unnecessarily and I don't worry about him pressing the "big red button" at random. But I do worry about his ability to lead in times of crisis, and it looks as though we will have plenty of that in short order. Disputes with North Korea, China, Iran, and even possibly Russia lead me to think he will have much to fret over soon.

To give you an example of the kind of possible scenario that keeps me up at night:

Trump has enraged China by suggesting One China is renegotiable. Though I suspect Trump ultimately will not recognize Taiwanese independence (does he even care about human rights issues?), the diplomatic damage here may have already been done. China, a country fueled by political nationalism, will look for revenge where it can find it. Fast forward some months to a clash in the South China Sea. Maybe Trump's SoS nominee Rex Tillerson gets serious about those disputed islands as he said he would. Maybe it leads to a standoff or even a blockade as he suggested. Normally, both sides might seek to defuse a situation that could lead to armed conflict. But China, having been long prodded by Trump, could try to force him to back down with a show of strength. Will Trump, who fears being perceived as weak, ultimately concede in such a conflict? Or will he push it further toward the brink?

My point is this: No matter who you voted for, the risk of war with a major nuclear power seems higher now than it has been for decades. Now, do I think nuclear war is likely? No. These are all worst case scenarios. But imagine you're walking on a rickety bridge suspended between two cliffs. If you fall, you will certainly die. How much of a risk are you willing to take? Would you cross the bridge if there was a 50 percent chance you'd fall? 10 percent? 5 percent? 1 percent?

We're about to cross the bridge. That's where my anxiety comes from.