Pledge to stay positive in spite of anxiety

[aml0017]

Since my latest bout of anxiety, which is the longest and worst I've had in a while, I have realized how much I have become complacent about regarding living with anxiety. I have let my diet/exercise go completely, I have gained a lot of weight in the past 2 years, way too much processed crap and now my blood sugar/blood pressure/cholesterol is up a lot. I've been completely lazy when it comes to housework and personal hygiene. I just do the least I can get away with as to not be a complete slob. I haven't walked or played with my dog nearly as much, I don't spend as much time with my nephew. I don't have any new experiences or meet new people. I just sit in my house all the time. It occurs to me I haven't really been happy or anxiety free. I was just coasting along at "ok", and not really doing anything that would cause any upset, avoiding any little change. I really am not that surprised that this episode has hit me that hard.

I am pretty much beyond being afraid of the anxiety itself, I have accepted it as a part of my life, but at the expense of not living my life fully. Until this current anxiety runs its course, I want to stay on track with the positive changes I have been making and not just fall back into my old bad habits as I always do. The weekends are a particularly bad time for me when it comes to anxiety because I don't have work to distract me so I tend to just stay in my house and let it fester. This weekend I want to have a plan and try to break that habit.

FRIDAY: bring dog for a nice long walk in the park after work as it is supposed to rain all weekend, fix a nice dinner and watch a movie
SATURDAY: clean up in my house, make a list and meal plan for the week and then do some grocery shopping, put up my christmas decorations
SUNDAY: lunch at my grandmother's and then help nieces and nephews trim the christmas tree
ALSO: NO alcohol! NO fast food, start reading new book about anxiety, DARE by David McDonogh that was recommended by some users on this site

[RoadToRecovery]

That's a good habit to get into! It's also one of the things you can do to help yourself recover from anxiety disorder. Sitting at hiome and fretting about it is only going to cause your body to become more stimulated which harms the body. Good for you :)

[fixmybrokenmind]

AML, I can't believe how much I relate to this, it feels like I wrote that myself.

Can I suggest the book "how to stop worrying and start living" by Dale Carnegie to you? I was in the exact same position as you and it totally helped me stay positive in light of a shitty situation. It has been 3-4 months since I read it and the lessons are still drilled in my mind, that book changed my life.

I also find that I need to stay busy or my mind wanders like crazy. A few months ago I started building a business and it has kept me busy all hours of the day and all my free time. I have never been filled with so much enthusiasm and low in anxiety. I feel like my anxiety helped me make this because if I felt totally normal I would probably just be going out and partying and wasting my life.

[aml0017]

I will look into that book. Good for you starting your business that is a great thing! It is a real change rather than just going through the motions if life. I feel that is what I really need, a major change in my life to shake it up. It is scary to me as even tiny changes throw me for a loop.

My plan is still going though I didn't get a walk with the dog yesterday, the rain came early, gonna be a wet weekend where I am at. I slept until 10:30 am today which is not usual for me but it was a good thing, I feel refreshed after a few weeks of bad sleep. Was rainy and dreary so I allowed myself to lay in bed with my coffee and a book. It wasnt a depression can't get out of bed type thing at all. It was nice. Gonna eat something soon and start on pulling out my Christmas decorations.

[Teafrenzy]

I read how to stop worrying and start living. It is a good book to read, don't get me wrong but I don't think the author had panic disorder and phobias in mind. It's more a book for Joe six pack who just filed for
a divorce and lost his job in the same week. A depressing situation but not a disorder.

[SpaceSputnik]

I find that exercise helps. This sounds like a pretty generic statement, but I want to elaborate a bit. What I do is a pretty dedicated weight-lifting routine with results in mind. Not your average doctor-prescribed 'keep active' crap, but actual result-oriented workout. While in a session, I get calmer and more grounded.
I am not entirely sure if this is a physical effect or perhaps a reinforcement of self-esteem that feeling strong brings.
I think being result-oriented helps a lot. This is a generally positive thing you are trying to gain, i.e. run faster, lift more, etc, rather than 'keep active' bs that has an underlying message 'I am weak and old and I need more upkeep to keep going". This is a negative, self-pitying theme that will unlikely be any good for your self-esteem. And we do need self-esteem to fight anxiety.

Anyway, just my two cents.

[Ponder]

Nothing wrong with the keeping active mentality Vs goal setting. They are pretty much the same and yet they are not. Both have their pros and cons. I often use both whilst at the same time praising one and then cursing the other. Frustration can be a tool in itself when used right. However the latter is more about using the pressure/steam with the intention to release. Typically when positive and healing motivation is lacking - frustration can be a primer to dig deep.

aml0017 -
"I am pretty much beyond being afraid of the anxiety itself, I have accepted it as a part of my life, but at the expense of not living my life fully. Until this current anxiety runs its course, I want to stay on track with the positive changes I have been making and not just fall back into my old bad habits as I always do. The weekends are a particularly bad time for me when it comes to anxiety because I don't have work to distract me so I tend to just stay in my house and let it fester. This weekend I want to have a plan and try to break that habit."

The way you have written the above sounds on track to creating the plan you want. In order to make positive changes that actually last, it is good to experience the anxiety as opposed to running from it like so many of us typically do. Your first sentence is quite accepting of your current situation. Anxiety will continue to run it's course until such a time that we accept it as no more than a passing thought. Your approach is in line with a copping strategy that many therapists (not GPs or psychiatrists) call ACT. Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. (https://www.thehappinesstrap.com/about_act) I'll link that one to a web page based on a book called The Happiness Trap (https://www.thehappinesstrap.com/about_act). Learning more about mindfulness can really help. Going a little beyond the clinical approach will greater assist to a deeper meaning and stronger connection with self ... but that's another story. Mt point is - keep thinking like you are ... because your current mind set is most certainly on track for Long Term Change.

Whatever methods you choose to motivate yourself - (again - I chop and change) - Just go little by little and enjoy that rewards along the way. Those rewards not being little doggy treats, but more the snippets of heart felt freedom. I deep true sense of liberation from finally escaping the cave (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RWOpQXTltA). :) The latter link talks more about the varioius contexts of → Allegory of the cave by plato (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTWwY8Ok5I0).

I share it more in light of the freedom that can come from finding things out for ourselves and not falling into the trap of simply going along with the crowed and or falling into Clinical Reliance. Whilst there is much to be gained from each of us sharing the way we do, nothing beats writing our own book. :)

I'm at a point where I have pretty much reached most of my goals - I've created a lot of positive changes. I can tell you that the journey never ends - so be careful how hard to set up. I often remind myself I must be careful with how much I lift, how hard and fast I run and walk.

The one thing that always works - and I know this for sure because I've been of and on all my life ... Is always remind yourself of that defining factor that led you to getting up off the couch. No one can tell you what that is, but yourself
___________________________________________

Your on track! Stick with what you know to be true ... keeping accepting yourself the way you are and you'll always be able to get back up despite whatever falls. You'll know its really going well the less you fall and that when you do, it's no longer such a big deal.

Best of luck with whatever path you choose. I'm genuinely happy to read when people are as motivated as you.
~Dave. (just another semi cave dweller :) )

[jessed03]

Nicely said, Dave.

Something that I'm-Suffering (a previous member of this forum) used to talk about is deconditioning your mind from false beliefs. It's so easy to believe the stories our minds tell us. Positive thinking won't penetrate the surface if you believe yourself to be cursed, unlucky, broken, unloveable,damaged, etc. If your subconscious mind has believed in all of these things for decades, a few positive thoughts sadly won't undo that.

For me, a freewrite while anxious helps me get to the bottom of what I believe about myself. I actually did one this morning and couldn't believe how much awful stuff I believed was true of me. No wonder I felt like total garbage, huh!? As Ponder notes, mindfulness can be another great way of looking at what's going on below the surface (search Jon Kabat Zinn on YouTube for some secular explanations on how to do it).

Hopefully shaking off some of these nasty (and untrue) beliefs, if you have them, will allow you to feel a bit more free and enjoy life. It'll hopefully make positivity your natural state, too, as you won't be weighed down by conflict. Imagine stroking a puppy if you believed yourself to be an evil puppy killer. You'd feel full of anxiety despite it being a relaxing experience. Well, we have similarly silly beliefs about life and ourself that make living extremely difficult.

Once you find these beliefs, CBT, mindfulness, ACT, a whole host of stuff can help depending on which you prefer. Sometimes just seeing how unreasonable they are makes them melt away on their own.

[SpaceSputnik]

Nothing wrong with the keeping active mentality Vs goal setting. They are pretty much the same and yet they are not. Both have their pros and cons. I often use both whilst at the same time praising one and then cursing the other. Frustration can be a tool in itself when used right. However the latter is more about using the pressure/steam with the intention to release. Typically when positive and healing motivation is lacking - frustration can be a primer to dig deep.
~Dave. [SIZE=1][I](just another semi cave dweller :) )

Dave, I am probably not quite following you, but I still want to clarify my point. By goal setting I do not mean pressure or some drop-dead specific targets. I mean, rather the approach aimed at progress. I.e. when you stop progressing you look at ways to progress again, not just doing the same thing over and over for the sake of staying active. Or even worse having to exercise because this is something you are supposed to do.
I.e. making your training something you pride yourself on, not just a 'supposed-to-do' routine akin to teeth brushing. I think this can be a great source of confidence and inner strength.

[Dahila]

Right step by step, acceptance is a key. Read Ponder's and Jessed posts they are wise men:)

[ioverthinkmyoverthinking]

Step by step and day by day....sometimes minute by minute.

[aml0017]

Thanks for the replies guys. I am doing my best to stay on track though my anxiety is still in full swing. Had a nice day off work yesterday and had a nice dinner out but I had like 1 and a half beers and I am regretting it now. Slept well but major morning anxiety now.

Jesse touched on a good point about not believing the false narratives anxiety tells you. That is a big issue for me because though I do think I have a chemical imbalance I really think my issues go down to a deep seated lack of self worth and self hatred. That is what truly feeds the anxiety, otherwise it would just be a medical problem for me. It's gonna take a while yet for me to really change this.

Truthfully, I don't really subscribe to the positive thinking, it doesn't work anyway. My focus is more on my actions, having a walk instead of laying on the couch, eating a vegetable instead of a hamburger. Just pretty much move left when I would normally move right. I just feel like certain behaviors I revert every time anxiety rears its head don't really help anything. I mean when I woke up this morning in an anxious state my first reaction is just to ball up under the covers and cry, but why not get out of bed? I'm still anxious but at least I'm doing something. I guess I'm trying to say if I'm going to be anxious anyway why let it stop my life. I just want to be less passive in my life, regardless of the anxiety...